It's hot outside. It's humid.
You ever heard that saying, "You don't sweat much for a fat girl"?
It doesn't apply to me.
I sweat. My hair gets wet. Am I proud of it? No. Just stating the facts.
I'm grumpy when the humidity is up. The higher the humidity, the higher my grump factor.
My semi-annual doctor's visit was this morning. She thinks my persistent cough is due to post nasal drip from allergies. (Thanks for sharing. You're welcome!) My voice is still rough around the edges, and if I talk a lot, it wears out. So my voice isn't as strong or loud as it usually is. Jim can't hear what I'm saying. I have to repeat most everything I say. It's a catch-22. This makes me grumpy.
Last week I went for lab work to be done in advance of the doctor's visit. I thought it odd that a) I didn't have to pee in a cup (although inside I was doing a happy dance) and b) that they only took one vial of blood.
Fast forward to today - The doctor is looking at the lab results and sees only one test was done. Huh?
Long story short, there was some misunderstanding, so I needed to have more blood work drawn. Yippee! Oh, and yeah, pee in a cup.
After my visit I went directly downstairs to the lab. The nurse called me back and asked, "Do you mind if a student takes your blood today?"
I must have mastered the "Pami" look. Because even though I hemmed and hawed like "Pat" would, saying, "Uh, well," the nurse took one look at my face and said, "Never mind," rather briskly,then "come right this way!"
"Pami" is my twin sister, and she has this murderous look that when she gives it means, "Back the F**k off, are you F**king kidding me?, and go F**k yourself" all rolled into one. I've seen grown men cry when she's looked at them like that. Seriously.
Back to my veins. If they were easy to find, then it would have been no big deal for this "student" to take my blood. But since my veins like to hide like you're on a flipping treasure hunt looking for them, I didn't want to volunteer to be a pin cushion for this student's summer project.
Was I wrong?
But she got back at me. She handed me THE CUP. You know the one.
The one I have to pee into. It's like asking an elephant to pee in a thimble. For those of you who don't remember my last experience, click here.
I won't go into details here. Let's just say it was messy and it wasn't pretty. But I'm getting better at hitting the target.
Next stop - Bed, Bath and Beyond.
I was specifically looking for this. Do you know what it is?
It's a silicone steamer.
Here's what my old one looks like.
The problem with the old one is that the middle doohickey thingy keeps falling off, and the metal is hot, hot, hot to touch. The silicone steamer is flexible and doesn't fall apart, plus I touched it with my bare hands after steaming a tamale and didn't burn my fingerprints off. This is good news, unless you are thinking about robbing a bank and you WANT to burn your fingerprints off. Then I say, stay with the metal steamer.
Anyway, back to my grumpiness. Pay attention.
I went to pay for my goodies and noticed a long line and, of course, only one cashier working.
This pissed me off.
Then I watched as a young man walked to another register and started doing something there. The woman in front of me walked over to him, said a few words, then came back to me and said incredulously,"Can you believe he is open and didn't even tell any of us to go into his line?" In the meantime, new people, who had NOT been waiting for ANY amount of time, went into his line.
This pissed me off more.
I pushed my cart over to his line. Then a third cashier came out. So the long line of people waiting dissipated quickly.
I, of course, picked a line where the lady needed a price check or something so I stood there, trying to stay calm.
All of a sudden, the cashier who's line I INITIALLY was standing in came over and said to the lady BEHIND ME, "Why don't you come over to my line and I can help you?"
And you know what I did.
I gave him the "PAMI" look.
He actually jumped back a little.
"Oh, oh, I'm sorry. I, I didn't see you standing there." (I think he wet his pants at this point.) "YOU come to my line and I'll take care of YOU." He turned to the lady behind me and said, "I'm sorry, you can come too!"
Damn! I must have that look down-pat! Or should I say "down-pam"! I've not seen myself in a mirror making the "Pami" look, but I have a feeling it looks a little like this, only meaner:
image courtesy of nightscribe.com
We left BB&B and still had to do some grocery shopping. My energy level was slipping fast, but I schlepped into the store to pick up some items.
A lot of the produce sucked.
We made our way to the meat department. It was a freezer over there. I can't imagine their electric bill! The two long refrigerated sections of meat, cheese and deli were almost unbearable to walk through - it was like being in the Arctic!
I did find an interesting/odd thing. Look at this. Already cooked bacon that you just heat up in the microwave.
I mean, seriously, can you get any lazier than that? How long does it take to fry up bacon? This was quite costly, too. About $8.00/pound.
Finally we were done gathering our items of choice and got in line to check out. That moved quickly enough. The only hold up was the dumb blond who was paying the bill (read - me). I had to slide my debit card about 5 times to get it right. Then it flashed me a message about cash back, I pushed "no", something else happened, maybe asking if I'd give my first born up, I don't know. Anyway, the cashier said to me, "Hmmm, I've NEVER seen this error message before!"
We had to go back to square one. I STILL had to swipe my card twice for it to work.
I limped out of the store (by this time my toe was hurting me), and the heat hit me in the face like a hot towel.
Moral of the story: Don't EVER leave your house in 90 degree weather. EVER.
Or you'll just be grumpy for the rest of the day.
Now leave me some comments and make me happy again.