Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Big Hall goes to the Doctor

Okay so here's the thing. My big toe, a.k.a. Big Hall, has been hurting me for about 9 months now. I first went to my doctor in December and told her of the pain I was experiencing in my toe. The x-rays showed some arthritis in the joint.

Six months later my toe has gotten a lot worse; I can't walk for any length of time without my foot swelling, my toe throbbing, and me limping. I was tired of pussy-footing around (pardon the pun) and made an appointment with an orthopaedic specialist. I've seen these doctors before for other problems.

The doctor made a quick examination of my toe, bending it this way and that, all the while I winced and whimpered. He thought the best plan of action was a cortisone shot right in the joint.

"Is it going to hurt?" I asked, like I was a little kid.

"Just a little," he replied as he left the room to get supplies.

He lied like a mother tucker.

First he had to grab my toe.

Problem number one. The ticklish factor.

Okay I can deal with that. But I thought it best if I lie down on the examining table so I didn't have to watch him do his dirty deed.

Then came the small prick. Didn't think I'd ever complain about that, but, yes, it did hurt. But it wasn't intolerable.

The doctor kept telling me to breathe and he imitated breathing like the Lamaze method where you take short breaths and breathe fast.

Let me tell you, this was worse than freaking labor.

Not only did he move that dagger of a needle back and forth, but he also bent my toe, my poor, poor SORE toe, forward and backwards, till I was letting out a blood curdling scream.

Not a short one, either.

A continuous one.

How embarrassing. I actually tried to bite down on my arm to quiet my scream, like in the olden days when they made the child-bearing mother bite down on a wooden spoon, but then I realized I'd only be hurting myself even MORE.

He was lucky I didn't kick him in the nuts.

I probably WOULD HAVE, but that was my bad foot.

I had to lie there a few minutes to gather myself together. The doctor came over by me, rubbed my arm, gave me his puppy-dog-eyed look and asked, "Are you alright?"

"Yes", I said.

But what I WANTED to say was, "Whaddya think? You just about broke my toe off, then jabbed a needle in so far that it came out the other side of my toe? Here, let me do it to YOU!"

After the torturing was over, the doctor dictated in a small recorder while I sat there. He started out by saying my name, my age, that I was a "well-nourished" (read rotund) female. I actually laughed out loud at that part. Then he went on to state my height and weight. Thank GOD Jim wasn't in the room with me or I would have a decision to make - who was closer - slap my hand over the doctor's mouth - or clamp my hands over Jim's ears. Whew! Sure am glad I told Jim to wait outside!

I was relaying this story to my sister, and when I got to the part about how the doctor called me "well-nourished" she said, "How does he know that?"

I said, "Well, by looking at me!"

It took a second to realize that because of my laryngitis, she thought I said, "well-NURSED" instead of "well-nourished".

Now I see her confusion!

It is now four hours since the cortisone shot, and my toe feels worse than when I went into the doctor. It is throbbing and so painful. I sure hope this shot kicks in soon.

Or I'll have to kick somebody's a$$!

I called the doctor's office to find out why my toe is hurting so much. This is what they said.

"There are two different reactions to cortisone shots. Some people have immediate relief. Other people have a temporary relief, then as the day goes on they have excruciating pain that lasts from 12-24 hours. That is the cortisone trying to do its job."

Great. So now I'm propped up in bed with ice on my throbbing FOOT, mascara smeared down my face from my tears, my voice is still hoarse, and I have my lap top, my book, a magazine, and all the remotes at my fingertips. I'm good for the night. That is, until I have to get up to pee.


Steven Anthony said...

Oh my friend, I feel for ya...I have to get those in my back you I always experience pain right after...but it does go away and then I feel great.

Hold on friend, it will get better.


Sunny said...

Oh my toes hurt just reading your post! I suffer with cronic ingrown toenails so just the thought of needles and twisting toes makes me cringe.
I hope the shot starts working soon.
☼ Sunny

Eva Gallant said...

I once had a cortisone shot in my heel due to plantar fascitis(?) It hurt like hell, but it did take care of the problem....never had the pain again and it's been 20 years.

otin said...

You went through a lot of effort and pain just to get a toe job! haha

Missy said...

I got a cort shot in my hip about three weeks ago! It has done wonders! Hope your toe heals soon!

Brian Miller said...

oh i am so sorry...sounds excrutiating...i dont do needles well at all. T had to have one in her hip when she was dancing....

SquirrelQueen said...

So sorry to hear about your pain in the toe, I hope the cortisone kicks in soon. Wouldn't you, just once, like to show a doctor what a pinch or prick really feels like?

misslynda said...

Oh, Pat, I am soooo sorry about your pain in the toe, the treatment, and the cure. I can honestly say my shot in my hand did not hurt - - - just afterwards. Tomorrow, it is a week later and the swelling is almost gone in my finger. I hope it gets completely gone and does not come back. I will pray for you.

Lindy MacDuff said...

I think I'd rather have the broken toe, and I've already had five of those. Never a cortisone shot. You were so brave to do that! Hope your toe and foot get feeling better SOON!

Gail said...

you should have tried harder for those nuts. At least you could be happy in knowing, he was ice bagging too.

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

oh my - i am so sorry! i need a cortisone shot in my shoulder and i'm dreading it for just that very reason. i'm one of those who hurt worse for a couple of days before it starts helping.

i cried with you when i got to the jabbing in the toe part. ouch ouch ouch

becky said...

Pay, sorry to hear the shot made you feel worse. I was gonna say, "ice & elavate," then I read further. Bummer. Hope it's feeling better soon.

becky said...

Pat, ha ha... the "t" is right next to the "y"... as soon as I hit publish comment, I saw I called you PAY! Well, now I'm laughing... hope you are, too- it releases endorphins... the body's natural pain killer!

Donna B said...

Oh Pat...poor baby! GAWD, I was getting the creeps just reading your post. I don't even want to THINK about a shot in the toe! (Big Hal) I had a cortizone shot in my left frozen shoulder. It too hurt like a Mother Tucker!! Hurt the rest of the day and when I woke up, no pain. It was wonderful! Hears hopin' it does the same for you. Otherwise, I will come over and we will BOTH kick him in the nuts!

Mary said...

Poor thing...I'm praying for you. I've got some REALLY strong painkillers if you need them...give me a holler. Surprised the doctor didn't give you a script for them. My son has gout problems in his feet, have you had it checked for that?

Wendy said...

I guess you're lucky...
It could be in WORSE places!

Valerie said...

Jeez, I felt that pain for you. I am currently suffering excrutiating pain in the shoulders and hands but if anyone suggests giving me the needle I'll remember your pain and refuse. I do admire the way you utilised your sense of humour to write about this.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I was an ER nurse many, many years ago and there are few things that make me squeamish ....... but toes are one of them. As a fresh graduate I was forced to watch a sadistic dr. "do toenails" in the ER. He would wrap a rubberband tightly at the base of the big toe, then inject the anesthetic so fast it would sometimes squirt out the sides of the injection site. Grown men will cry at this point. Without waiting for the tissue to numb he would then proceed with his mission of removing the ingrown toenail. He had his own special "tools". He would use a "spreader" and insert it under the offending nail and ceremoniously "spread" it to seperate the toenail from the underlaying tissue, then grab the nail with a hemostat and yank it off. All the while the patient is writhing in agony and he is giving a running account of his procedure and asking the unlucky staff memeber if she is watching. I vowed to never, ever place myself or anyone I loved under the care of that man. He had a faithful following of patients, though. There is one bit of advice I took from him, though. He said to prevent ingrown toenails to always cut a little v-notch in the toenail. I do that faithfully. He really made an impression on me!

Okay, I hope you are much better now and that my story took your mind off your toe and didn't do the opposite!

Rae said...

Even with my nursing background, you have managed to give me the heebie jeebies reading your account of all you went through. Sounds like a horrible ordeal. I sure hope you are on the mend now.

Meeko Fabulous said...

Oh honey, I sure hope you feel better soon and that the cortisone shot kicks in. X's and O's.

Carletta said...

I have a joint in my left big toe that hurts every few weeks and wondered about a shot. I do get cortisone in my knees every six months but what you described sounds way more painful.
Hope it feels better soon.

Nancy said...

I know what you mean. I had one of those in my shoulder once.

But you had me rolling - "well-nourished female"! LOL!