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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Things that Piss Me Right the Heck Off - Part Deux



When Grocery Carts



a) stick to each other and I can't get them apart no matter how hard I try and pull on them.

b) have one wheel that has a mind of it's own and goes in a different direction from the other wheels, and

c) have garbage left in them from the last shopper. C'mon, PEOPLE, throw your garbage OUT!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When my husband doesn't believe something is true unless he, himself, has seen it, experienced it, tasted it, etc. Otherwise? It just DIDN'T happen.

This makes me FURIOUS.

Case in point.

These are the handles for the hot and cold water in our shower stall.



The plastic piece on the left handle keeps flying off (hmmmm - "flying off the handle" is THAT where it came from?) when I go to turn off the hot water. That little sucker ricochets in our teeny tiny shower and one day it's going to break our glass shower door. EVERY DAY I have to contend with screwing that little handle back in.

THIS PISSES ME OFF!!!

The other day Jim happened to be in the bedroom when I was taking a shower (they're both in the same area.) The handle went flying and I screamed, "WHEN ARE YOUR GOING TO FIX THIS DAMN HANDLE?!"

"What are you talking about?"

"It keeps coming off!"

"Well, it NEVER happened to ME!" He replied.

Ah. So that means it NEVER happened.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!



Going to the movie theater and

a) paying outrageous prices for stale popcorn and pop in cups SO LARGE that if you drank it all you would wee-wee all the way home,

b) now having to sit through commercials, COMMERCIALS, before the movie starts!! I'm not talking previews, which I love, but COMMERCIALS,

c) putting up with people talking during the show. I'm not talking a quick, "What did he say?" question. I'm talking laughing, gabbing, texting, and phoning during the show,

d) not having the guts to tell the above people to "SHUT UP!"

e) wondering, "WHY DOES THE SOUND HAVE TO BE TURNED UP SO LOUD?" I have such sensitive ears and I swear by the end of a movie, especially one with special effects, I'll have blood dripping from my ear drums, it's SO LOUD.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do these two bottles have in common?



I can't open them.

They are "twist" off.

The only thing they do is "PISS" me OFF. So if I were dying of thirst, the only way I could get something to drink was if my husband was home to open the bottles.

Well, I suppose I could just drink tap water.

There's that.

But the water in this campground is DREADFUL. It's RUSTY. It's SMELLY.

So, no, I won't be drinking it anytime soon.

I wanted some of that juice this morning. I couldn't open it. Jim was out taking a walk. So I went without juice.

I KNOW.

And those water bottles - not only can't I open them, but they are making them so cheap now that when you go to grab them the plastic indents and I end up squirting water all over. PLUS why do they have to fill the water up to the very brim?

Go ahead. Lecture me about buying bottled water. About filling the landfills.

I KNOW. But even though we have a water filter system, it cleans the water enough to BATHE, but I don't cook with it, let alone drink it. So, alas, we have to buy our water.

Why can't they make bottles with that little plastic strip for easy off lids like they do milk cartons?

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL OF THESE THINGS REALLY PISS ME OFF!!

What has been pissing YOU off lately?



NOTE: Thanks to all of you for your concern about me yesterday with my toe. I am feeling MUCH better today - I can walk with a slight limp. By tomorrow I will be as good as new, or as good as "slightly used", oh, hell, who am I kidding, as good as "rode-hard-and-put-away-wet-but-still-has-SOME-life-left-in-her" new.

26 comments:

Steven Anthony said...

OMG!!! the grocery cart thing drives me nuts...Ive even left my half full cart in the middle of the stoor because of a sticky wheel...seriously why cant big stores take care of them....its not like they cant afford a new wheel or two....uggggg.

sorry for the rant, lol

Eva Gallant said...

I like getting my money's worth, but when you open the bottle of water and it spills on you because they topped it off.....You are NOT getting your money's worth! I agree with you!

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

Yes, we just share so many things alike here.
Grrrr...the grocery cart thing irritates the heck out of me, is one of them.
B xx

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

Yes, we just share so many things alike here.
Grrrr...the grocery cart thing irritates the heck out of me, is one of them.
B xx

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

Yes, we just share so many things alike here.
Grrrr...the grocery cart thing irritates the heck out of me, is one of them.
B xx

Ed said...

Loved this post!

If the people infront of me at the movies are talking incessantly, I just pull a "Pee-Wee Herman" and butter their popcorn.

Shuts them right up.

Missy said...

I agree with all of these especially the husband thing. My DH is the same way! If he doesn't see it himself, it did not happen! Pisses me off! I am pissed off at the moment because everyone keeps slamming the back door!

Mary said...

all of these tick my goose...I solved one of them by never going to the movies - would u believe the last movie I saw in a theater was 'you've got mail'? It's true! Christmas 1997!

I sort of solved the bottle opening. Although this does not work with larger bottles...I use a nut cracker to open the water bottles...works perfect.

Meeko Fabulous said...

I bought my mom one of those things that makes jars and bottle caps easy to open. All you do is place it on top like a handle and twist! :)

Brian Miller said...

it is usually inantimate objects that make me the maddest...lol

Rae said...

A sore toe and now all this stuff just waiting to piss you off. LOL -Someone has cast the evil eye upon you. I think you need a hug. ((HUG))

artist60164 said...

omg I wish I had read this at 8:00 am instead of 4:00. It would have made my day.
Thanks for your witty, creative and humorous blogs.

Jeanne

misslynda said...

Yup - - - I can agree that most of those things aggravate me, too - - - except your shower since I have never used it - - but I agree about the husband thing. How about when you say to him, "We don't need to use such and such. It's almost broken" - - - so he goes to try it out - - - so he can see what it's doing and then he parrots your exact words back to you!!!

If you are recycling the plastic bottles, I have no problem with you using bottled water. A few people have jobs because you bought it. I drink bottled and filtered water all the time. And I have recently bought a "gripper with handles" to open lids.

Gail said...

A small paring knife used carefully will open those bottles.

Grip cap in one hand and slant bottle, take paring knife and saw through the plastic on the bottle neck. Lid is removed and you have access to liquid within.

You didn't mention closing the bottle, only getting into one!

Bossy Betty said...

You hit the nail on the head here! I would actually pay $1.00 extra NOT to have to see the commercials before a movie!

Mary said...

Gail - not a smart thing for Pat to use a paring knife! With her luck she'd end up stabbing herself!

becky said...

What pisses me off the most is crazy drivers. Like when you are driving the speed limit at night on a two lane road and some crazy fool passes you on a blind hill & you are praying no one is coming from the other direction.

Sometimes, I am pissed when I am working full time & have no energy left for myself & my creative pursuits... though I know I'm lucky to have work in this economy.

And, sometimes I get pissed off at myself, but the "why's" would just take to long to write...

Carletta said...

I'm with you on the grocery cart thing. What makes it worse is I've been in Walmart and the carts are so stuck nothing moves and Mr.Cart Man justs looks at me!
Glad to hear your toe is somewhat better.

Cheeseboy said...

I think the sound is so loud so it drowns out the talkers in the theater.

I have actually gone and got the usher. It is their job after all.

Valerie said...

I think I'm part of your script, Pat. Water bottles... I can't even manage the gadget designed to unscrew the top with ease....

Lindy MacDuff said...

Another great list!

You could use one of these for opening the bottles (and jars), and it won't take up much space in the drawer because it's flat. I have a similar style and it works great.

www.amazon.com/Norpro-597-Rubber-Jar-Opener/dp/B000HEKQTY/ref=pd_sim_k_2

Nancy said...

All of the above!! Packaging is so obscene that I'm tempted to take an item back to the store - ask for my money back - and say it's because I couldn't open it!

Mama Zen said...

That V8 stuff is so hard to open it's unbelievable!

otin said...

I always get the cart with the one faulty wheel! Always!

Don't you hate when something keeps messing up on you and you try to show someone else and then it works just fine while you are trying to show them! I hate that!

Donna B said...

I thought it was just me getting the "cursed wayward wheel"! I HATE carts that stick together and the lazy folks who leave their trash behind! I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DON'T PUT THEIR CARTS BACK IN THE RACK AND THEY ROLL INTO MY CAR AND LEAVE DENTS!!

Next time your hubby is going to take a shower, go loosen the handle so he can see, believe and FIX IT! I HATE WHEN THE HOT WATER RUNS OUT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF ME WASHING MY HAIR!!!

We sneak water or soda into the show in my purse. We even have been known to sneak in our own popcorn, snacks and occasionally a "go go meal" from the chicken place. I HATE WHEN SENIOR PRICES ARE $10 IN CALIFORNIA (it is $3 before 4pm here in Nevada) AND THEN HAVING TO PAY $20 FOR POPCORN, DRINKS AND CANDY!!!

I hate commercials at the movies too...I tell the Manager. If you don't want to confront anyone by asking them to be "quiet" during the movie, just go out and tell the Manager. They will come in and ask them to be quiet.

I bring ear plugs or use napkins or tissue to plug my ears due to the sound being so loud! It is so loud, with the plugs, it sounds "normal volume".

I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SPILL DRINKS ON THE SEATS OR THE FLOOR AND YOU GET A WET BUTT OR HAVE YOUR FLIP FLOPS STICK TO THE FLOOR WHEN YOU TRY TO LEAVE!!!

Try one of those flat, rubber, grip thingies to twist off the caps. You can also turn it upside down, bang a couple of times on the bottom of the bottle to break the air pressure, turn it right side up and twist off. Last resort, run under hot water and use a spoon hooked under the cap to loosen it.

I hate those thin plastic bottles too! They crinkle loudly and you are so right about squishing the water out of it when grabbing it!

WE HAVE TO BUY BOTTLED WATER TOO IN NEVADA. I HATE THOSE STEEL, GREEN CANNISTERS, WE ARE SUPPOSE TO USE INSTEAD OF PLASTIC. THEY GET HOTTER IN THE CAR THAN THE PLASTIC BOTTLES, AND IT BURNS YOUR LIPS TO DRINK OUT OF IT!!

Donna B said...

I thought it was just me getting the "cursed wayward wheel"! I HATE carts that stick together and the lazy folks who leave their trash behind! I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DON'T PUT THEIR CARTS BACK IN THE RACK AND THEY ROLL INTO MY CAR AND LEAVE DENTS!!

Next time your hubby is going to take a shower, go loosen the handle so he can see, believe and FIX IT! I HATE WHEN THE HOT WATER RUNS OUT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF ME WASHING MY HAIR!!!

We sneak water or soda into the show in my purse. We even have been known to sneak in our own popcorn, snacks and occasionally a "go go meal" from the chicken place. I HATE WHEN SENIOR PRICES ARE $10 IN CALIFORNIA (it is $3 before 4pm here in Nevada) AND THEN HAVING TO PAY $20 FOR POPCORN, DRINKS AND CANDY!!!

I hate commercials at the movies too...I tell the Manager. If you don't want to confront anyone by asking them to be "quiet" during the movie, just go out and tell the Manager. They will come in and ask them to be quiet.

I bring ear plugs or use napkins or tissue to plug my ears due to the sound being so loud! It is so loud, with the plugs, it sounds "normal volume".

I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SPILL DRINKS ON THE SEATS OR THE FLOOR AND YOU GET A WET BUTT OR HAVE YOUR FLIP FLOPS STICK TO THE FLOOR WHEN YOU TRY TO LEAVE!!!

Try one of those flat, rubber, grip thingies to twist off the caps. You can also turn it upside down, bang a couple of times on the bottom of the bottle to break the air pressure, turn it right side up and twist off. Last resort, run under hot water and use a spoon hooked under the cap to loosen it.

I hate those thin plastic bottles too! They crinkle loudly and you are so right about squishing the water out of it when grabbing it!

WE HAVE TO BUY BOTTLED WATER TOO IN NEVADA. I HATE THOSE STEEL, GREEN CANNISTERS, WE ARE SUPPOSE TO USE INSTEAD OF PLASTIC. THEY GET HOTTER IN THE CAR THAN THE PLASTIC BOTTLES, AND IT BURNS YOUR LIPS TO DRINK OUT OF IT!!