Pitiful Patio Sale

PATIO SALE!
7:30 am to 1 pm
Great prices!
9:30 am 25% Sale!
11:00 am 1/2 OFF EVERYTHING!
12:30 pm EVERYTHING MUST GO! MAKE US A DEAL!!!q
1:00 pm WE’LL PAY YOU TO TAKE IT!

The morning of the patio sales, Jim and I rolled out of bed at the ungodly hour of 6:00 a.m. We showered, shoved cereal down, and were outside before the sun was fully up. There was something wrong with that picture. Although Arizona is quite warm during the winter months, the early mornings and evenings get quite cool because of the desert. So it was chilly, to say the least, in the pre-dawn hours while we moved our precious MUST SELL! items outside. I tried to display the items so as to entice the buyers. The shoes were polished up and splayed out in a circular pattern on the round table (which was also for sale).

The books were displayed so that the titles could be easily read.

This was the first year that the park provided a map with the addresses of all the sites that were having a sale. It was announced at the Thursday morning coffee/donuts to remember to sign up for the sales. Thursday afternoon I went to the activities office to sign up, and it was too late. What the heck? I wasn't even AT the Thursday morning meeting - I was at water aerobics. I guess if you signed up, you were given a balloon and ribbon to hang out to indicate that you were having a sale. Well, me and a gentleman standing next to me, were too late. The guy asked, "Well, can we AT LEAST have a balloon?"

The lady replied, "Oh, I don't know."

Seriously? She had to ask another person if it was okay to give out the freakin' balloons. Gimme a break. She got the go ahead, and we got our precious balloons. And guess what? The morning of the sale when Jim tried to blow up our teeny tiny balloon? It had a damn leak! He had to run out and get a couple of helium filled balloons.

Since my patio sale wasn't listed on the "treasure" map, I was afraid I wouldn't get many people. Luckily there was a sale at the end of the block, so the people visiting that sale walked down to mine.

We had a portable hammock in-a-bag for sale, that we had paid about $60. It's pretty cool. It was on display, and one man was interested in it. He tried it out and really liked it. He asked how much we wanted for it, and I said, "Oh, how about $10?"

He said, "Great! I'll take it!"

Jim showed him how to take it apart and fold it up. After they stored it in the bag and the guy handed me the money he said, "I would have easily paid $20 for this!"

#$#$#%#$##$#!!!

Bottom line - I made $35.47. Why the odd amount? Some old woman couldn't come up with .50 for a book - said she only had .47, .27 being Canadian! I know! I am a sucker! I bagged up the shoes, purses, and a few odds and ends to bring to Goodwill. The books will be donated to the library. But that coffee table is looking good for outside...... and the round table that my friend wanted to sell - we could use outside too........
And so begins the new collection of junk.

By the way, I did go look at the other sales, but only down two streets. I spent $8 of my profit - $5 on a NEW coffee table, about 2/3's the size of the last one, and $3 on a book. I KNOW, I KNOW, I'm supposed to be getting RID of books. But hey - if I got rid of 50 I think I can buy 1 book. That seems fair to me. Besides, I was going to sneak it in the trailer without Jim seeing it.

I wanted to pop the helium balloons and throw them out, but Jim said we should just release them. Before releasing them, I wanted to write on them with marker, "You missed a great sale at site #193!"

Jim cut the balloons loose, and we stood with our arms around each other, watching them take off in the sky.