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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Do Blonds REALLY Have More Fun?

It is great to be a blond. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people.
Pamela Anderson (Canadian Model and Actress)


A few months ago I decided to dye my hair blond. I wanted to see if it's true that blonds really DO have more fun. One thing I've noticed. I've become stupider. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone out there. I'm just saying what's happened to ME. Maybe it's the peroxide. Maybe it's because I'm getting older. Or maybe it's just ME. But I'm living up to a LOT of the DUMB BLOND jokes. And I'm not proud of it. No sir, I'm not.

For instance, today I was blow-drying my hair. I noticed that my bangs were doing some funky number and were bent kind of funny. I thought I'd continue drying my hair with one hand, and STICK MY OTHER HAND UNDER RUNNING WATER so I could wet my bangs and start over. I was just about to turn the water on when my guardian angel, who sounded an awful lot like Cher, I might add, yelled, "SNAP OUT OF IT!!" Uh, hello? Water and electricity DO NOT MIX. Oh, yeah, right. I might have looked something like this. If I was lucky.



They say that variety is the spice of life - so I just keep dying my hair a different color. Throughout my marriage I've been a brunette, a redhead, and now a blond. I remember one time coming home after having my hair streaked with blond highlights. My daughter was probably about 10 at the time. When I walked through the front door she took one look at me and said, "Mom! What did you do to your hair!" Then she ran into the family room and yelled, "Dad! Wait till you see how OLD Mom looks!" I wanted to turn right back around and have the hairdresser dye my hair back to brown!

I truthfully don't think Jim really ever notices WHAT I do to my hair. But other people sure do. So many people have commented on my blond hair. "Hello, Blondie!" They'll call out to me. Or, "Well, look who's blond now!" At that point, I'll turn around and say "Who?" See. I'm telling ya. Blond.

You know how I kid around that I'm Jim's trophy wife? But not the "classic" trophy wife. I'm 11 years younger, but not the "Barbie-doll" shaped wife. So I always tell Jim that I'm his trophy wife, but it's too bad that he won fifth place. It came up in conversation the other day that I have moved up a spot BECAUSE I'M BLOND NOW. Who knew it could be so easy? I could sing "Happy Birthday" to Jim in a breathy Marilyn Monroe way, too, and I bet if I wore that same kind of dress standing over an air vent, I'd move up another notch. Then again, showing my granny panties, maybe not.





Here is my all time favorite blond joke:

A blond gets stopped by a blond cop for speeding. The blond cop approaches the car and says, "License and registration, please."

The blond driver is all befuddled. "Officer," she says, looking through her purse, "I don't know what my license looks like."

The officer says, "It's about this big (gesturing with her hands) and has a picture of yourself on it."

The blond driver continues to search through her purse. She pulls out a mirror and sees herself in it. "Oh, here it is!" She exclaims and hands it over to the blond cop.

The blond cop takes the mirror and looks at it and says, "Why didn't you say you were a cop? I wouldn't have stopped you!"



the new me

17 comments:

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

I love the picture of you - and you sure don't look dumb. Someone with your sense of humour couldn't possibly be dumb. SNAP OUT OF IT!! Did you hear 'poor' Nick Cage has had his houses repossessed?

KaLynn said...

I like the new look! I too mess with my hair! I also mess with my EYES! I wear contacts and have had, green, 2 different kinds of blue and want to try gray! I have brown eyes and brown hair! How utterly boring! You go girl! And as far as being dumber, I think not. You've just been distracted! That's all! =0D

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

You CRACK me up!! 5th place!! LOL! I love the blond! It suits you and doesn't make you dumber!!

WhisperingWriter said...

You look fantastic!!

SquirrelQueen said...

Well, being that I was born blond and intend to go out blond, we gotta talk. What they forget to tell you is that the peroxide will cause temporary dumbness but it wears off!

Next, you must learn to use blondness to your advantage. Like in the joke, if you get pulled over by a cop just play dumb. It gives the cop a story to tell his buddies and usually no ticket for you.

Blondie
PS, I think you make a great looking blond Pat. Have fun!!!

Tamis said...

Love the blonde and am a little jealous that your guardian angel sounds like Cher because mine sounds just like Carol Channing... not as fun!

Nancy said...

LOL!!! I love that joke!

I have been different colors in my past as well. I was going to go natural. Until I saw what natural looks like. Now I'm multi-colored. A little blonde, a little brown, and a bit of grey, just because everyone knows I must have some grey in there somewhere.

I have to say, though, I really like your look! You look like the trophy wife you are!

Brian Miller said...

i think you look great as a blonde. honestly, whatever makes you feel you.

i did get a tickle out of the joke...

Noelle said...

'They'll call out to me. Or, "Well, look who's blond now!" At that point, I'll turn around and say "Who?" See.'

LMAO!!! i used to be an artificial blonde...and i had WAAAAAAAAAAY more fun. maybe it's because i was also 25 and had 3 less children...

Kathy's Klothesline said...

You mean you color your hair?

Valerie said...

I agree with Bonnie, you're sense of humour rules out any suggestion that as a blonde you've gotta be dumb. I like the new you very much.

Gail said...

Dying your hair is alot safer than an affair and cheaper!

Laura said...

You hair looks great.

You look really mad in that pic. Smile!

Rae said...

Love your blonde look. You look mahvalous!! I have been all over the map with hair color too. I finally have settled on blonde with gray roots. I bet people beat a path to your door to spend time with you. You are so funny. Jim is a lucky guy.

otin said...

Love the joke! You tell a story with great comedy timing. I laughed when I read, "Dad, look how old Mom looks!"

You look great in that picture!

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

Too funny - and you look great! I've done a few things to my hair over the years, too. Some of them I shudder over and others I'd like to repeat but the steps to get there (i.e., screwing up in the middle and having to get it "fixed") can't be exactly duplicated.

Sunny said...

Sorry I am so far behind with my comments!
Your blonde hair looks maaarvelous! It suits you very well.
Sunny :)