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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Only 52 shopping days left till Christmas!



That's right, people! I know we just finished stuffing our faces full of candy, and carving our pumpkins, but Jack Frost will be nipping at our nose REAL soon and that can only mean one thing - Christmas is JUST AROUND THE CORNER. I mean, c'mon, the stores have had their decorations up for weeks already! But no need to worry, Snooky Bed-Head is back with more gift suggestions. You can call me Snooky for short. (You, too, can get your OWN elf name at Quizopolis.com.) So hold on tight, and here we go. Some are weird, some naughty, some stupid, but ALL are fun!


How about a talking teddy bear that is CLR - Crude, Lewd and Rude! Ballsy Bear - Be warned: Ballsy Bear™ is NOT FOR CHILDREN.
Ballsy Bear™ is a collector's quality teddy bear designed by award-winning artist, Sam Blum. Just press his belly, and he will say one of his twenty messages such as,




"I got your warm and fuzzy right here."
"F**K You!!"
"God you're a moron."
"Hey, slick give me a beer!!"
and many more. All for only $29.95.








How about for the dog lover in your life? Bring home "Cahones, the Singing Chihuahua".



Look closely and you'll see that he is named appropriately. And if you squeeze his, um, EAR, he will turn his head and sing you a song about his, well, cahones.

Have you heard this number one hit? "I've got the biggest balls of all, do da, do da."

Cahones is very lifelike and stands a full 12 inches tall. And we all know that SIZE matters. He can be yours for only $29.95 $19.95 on sale!






We've all seen those commercials of the "easy button" when you need office supplies at work. Well, here's something you might need. Do you have a co-worker that always has a story to tell? He/She is so full of crap, that you just want to put your hand up and say, "Hold it a moment while I go put my boots on." Well, here's an easier way to show them that you're on to their tricks. You're tired of hearing all their crap. Ready?



It's the Bullshit Button! Ta-Da! The R-Rated Bullshit Button says 6+ short phrases including:

* Bullshit detected! Take precautions.
* *Wailing Horn Sound* That was bullshit!
* Bullshit level Defcon 5!
* and more...





You could either buy this and give this TO the bullshitter, or, give it as a gift to YOURSELF, so when that bullshitter comes around, zap the button. That should get rid of him/her. Then you just have to smile and say, "Have a nice day."




Do you have a sports fan on your Christmas List? Do they go to sporting events AND like to drink? Here is a pair of binoculars that doubles as a flask. You heard me. Each side of the Binocular Flask is an 8 oz. flask for a total of 16 ounces, and comes with a plastic funnel to avoid spilling, and plastic wrist strap. Get it for only 14.95






Do you know someone who doesn't know their butt from, um, their face? Or if it's someone that you just want to call "BUTTFACE", this will work for that, too. How about this nice bath towel telling them like it is:




The towel is 100% cotton, about 2 foot by 4 foot in size. Just $14.95!

And if they're REALLY special, throw in the soap. It's only $3.95!



You COULD add a little note with these two words, "WASH POSSIBLE" on the front, and on the back write,
Two old men were sitting on a park bench. The one man leaned over and said to the other, "Do you shower every day?"

The other man replied, "Well, it's like this. Each morning I get up and start washing from my feet up to as far as possible. Then I start washing from my head down to as far as possible."

The first man said, "Next time? Wash possible!"




Think back to when you were in pre-school, or kindergarten. Didn't you just love the smell of Play-Doh? Doesn't smelling it bring out the kid in you? Do you know someone on your list who HASN'T grown up, or doesn't WANT to grow up? What better way to show them you understand how they feel than to give them this perfect gift.



This Play-Doh Cologne was created to celebrate the 50th Birthday of Play-Doh! Hasbro said the fragrance is "meant for highly-creative people, who seek a whimsical scent reminiscent of their childhood." Just $19.99! What a bargain!



Never know what to get Grandma? Does she love to cook or bake? Then she'll just LOVE this whimsical egg separator!




Just crack the egg into the cup, tilt it forward, and watch the snot egg white drip through the nose. How cool is that? I'm putting this on MY wish list! The Peter Petrie Egg Separator is skillfully made by potters and is perfect for egg white omelets, cakes and other recipes. A great buy at only $12.99!




For the man who has everything - I bet he doesn't have a "weener kleener". And I'm NOT talking YOU, ladies!



Why not let him have fun while he's in the shower? He'll be whistling while he works, I'll bet! AND - he's washing possible! It's a steal at only $6.95! (Sorry, no demo video to watch here.)



Men - do you have a woman in your life that is a little, shall we say, flat, on top, and also a LUSH? Have I got the perfect gift for her! It is a "bladder" bra called, "The Wine Rack" that can hold up to 25 ounces of her favorite beverage. AND, she'll be walking around looking more like her "CUPS RUNNETH OVER", but not necessarily with boobs!

BEFORE



AFTER



# Very comfortable sports bra available in versatile black. (Not recommended for sizes 36DD, or anything larger than a 38D. Obviously they think you have enough of your OWN wine rack to haul around.)

# Drinking tube long enough to route as you wish.

# Easy to use on/off valve to control the flow.

NOW ON SALE FOR ONLY $29.99!!




And finally, Snooky's all time favorite gift is this unusual USB port. It is called the "humping hound" USB port. Watch the short clip and laugh your butt off.





Humping hound is also available here.

If you have someone like Otin on your list, he would probably prefer this USB port over the humping dog:




This pole dancer is a little steeper in price, but hey, so it going into a strip joint, right? The usual price is $39.95, but it's on SALE RIGHT NOW for $32.95!!!

Now, if you can't find a gift from the list above, you can always go back to my previous Christmas Shopping post for more ideas. After that, you're on you own! I've given you a plethora of great ideas. On your mark, get set, GO SHOPPING!!

11 comments:

An Open Heart said...

Holy crap, Woman, you kill me! Good stuff.....like the usb puppy myself.....

S

Lindy MacDuff said...

Oh my! Lots to choose from here. I had to clean my computer screen after seeing that egg separator!

f8hasit said...

Thanks Pat!
I've now managed to almost all my shopping right off your post!
I should send you some sort of finders fee or something...

Those were fabulous.
:-)

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Too funny! Pat please don't feel you have to send me an xmas present . . . really . . . I prefer not to receive one from you. Thanks anyway.

:)

Rae said...

This was great. Now I don't even have to do any thinking before shopping this year. All the ideas I need are right here. Now I just have to figure out who is going to get which thing.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I can't decide which my favorite is!! I love the wiener cleaner soap!! LMAO!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I would so totally buy the ballsy dog if it was a dachshund... and name it Oscar

Wendy said...

Pat!!!
You are hilarious!!!
I'm lovin' it!
=-)

SquirrelQueen said...

Snooky, once again you have solved all of my gift giving problems. I've just got to get one of those puppies for hubby! But I can't figure out why anyone would want to smell like Play-Doh.

Carletta said...

Now my wish list has grown! :)
I'd love the bear - just because.
And Play Doh cologne - so cool. I just read Judy's comment about smelling like Play Doh - it would drive people mad!

otin said...

I liked all of them! LOL!