Monday, June 1, 2009

No Man was ever SHOT while doing the dishes...

I had a magnet that said just that posted on my refrigerator as a warning to my husband. Not that I own a gun or anything. And he does do the dishes. But not to my liking. I know, I know. I shouldn't complain. At least that's what my girlfriends tell me. "As least he DOES the dishes!" Okay, let me set the record straight. He doesn't do them daily, okay? Maybe 2 or 3 times a week.

Here's my complaint(s). Maybe I'm just anal. You be the judge. Remember that we live in a trailer, so space is always an issue. We don't have much counter space; we have a tiny drainer contraption that folds up conveniently for stow away. So it is somewhat of an art to stack the dishes in it properly.

When I wash the dishes, I usually wash all like items together, the flat items first, (dishes, tupperware lids, etc). Cups get lined up along the edges on both sides. Bowels are lined up according to size. Silverware go in the little circles and stand upright. My point is, I strategically place the dishes in the drainer so I do NOT have to dry them. They can air dry and be put away later.

When Jim washes the dishes, he'll put a plate at one end of the drainer, pile a bunch of stuff in the middle, then a plate at the other end to hold everything in.

But he'll wash things in a haphazard order, like a dish, a pot, a bowl, whatever is in the sink. It drives me crazy! Why do I care you ask? Because what usually happens is that I end up DRYING the dishes because there is no more room in the drainer for all the dishes. All because of his lack of expertise in stacking. What's more, he puts the knives standing sharp points up. What if I should trip and accidentally shish kabob my eye? It doesn't matter that I've talked to him about his bad ways. He just laughs them off.

His other no-no is that he just lets the water out of the sink without washing it out and cleaning out the drain.

Many a night I've come into the kitchen to find yucky soap scum at the bottom of the sink, and undefinable crap in the trap. I don't understand why he just doesn't finish the job. It's like going to the toilet and not flushing.

Interestingly enough, there is a man out there who actually enjoys washing dishes. His name is Pete Jordan. He likes washing dishes so much, that he's written a book about it. It's called, "Dishwasher: One Man's Quest to Wash Dishes in All 50 States".

Read more about it here:

I guess the only way I'm going to get through this is either a) leave the kitchen when Jim does the dishes or b) resolve myself to having dishpan hands the rest of my life and shove him out of the kitchen.


Valerie said...

Loved this. Your husband is typical of most men and mine in particular. I've learned to walk away and worry about it later! I might buy that book!

Wendy said...

This is so weird... I do dishes just like your husband! I put plates on each end to hold everything in and then just hope for the best on all the rest of it. My husband comes in and dries because he knows if the dish drainer gets full I will stop whether the dishes are done or not and he'll get stuck with the rest. I'm glad the two of you are not in the same room with each other!

Carolyn said...

Hello Pat. You don't me but I came across your blog while searching for evidence that no man has ever been shot washing dishes! I love your blog and can so relate to this story! My husband and I have a wonderful 4 berth touring caravan, not quite your luxury but I too have a husband who washes dishes like Jim AND I am a trophy wife! Sounds like you are having fun and that is what really matters. Best wishes from West Yorkshire. Carolyn Harvey