"Just a little off the top"

I got my head shaved hair cut yesterday. What is it about the words, "Just a trim" do the majority of beauticians not understand? And this is the case all over the U.S. Because we're on the road so much, I don't frequent the same stylist. But I've run into this problem everywhere.

So when the stylist asks, "How do you want it cut", do they stick their fingers in their ears and say, "nah, nah, nah", while I say, "JUST A TRIM"? Or do they HEAR:

a) Shave the head; or

b) Cut it so short that I look like a guy; or

c) Do whatever the hell you want.

Because, frankly, they aren't listening to me! I know I'm partly to blame. When I take my glasses off, I can hardly see anything. When I look in the mirror, all's I see is a beige blob, so therein lies the problem. I can't actually SEE how much they are cutting off. Also, when someone touches my hair, I almost go into a trance because it feels so good and the sound of the scissors snipping away is hypnotizing.If I sat there any longer I'd be snoring. Another problem is that I always seem to get the talkative stylist. She goes on and on with her story telling, and keeps cutting and cutting. I begin to wonder if my hair will last long enough for her story to end.

Here's another thing. I'm a real WUSS when it comes to telling the stylist to STOP cutting, or if one side is shorter than the other, or basically any kind of complaint or critique. When all is said and done, and I reach for my glasses, I try not to gasp out loud. Do they think I strive to look like I'm a recent recruit into the armed forces? At one butcher shop salon, this one stylist cut my hair so short, I'm surprised I had any color left.

She asked me, "Is it short enough or do you want me to take some more off the top?"



What? Are you kidding me? You might as well just sharpen up that tomahawk and scalp me because there was no more hair to cut!




I just as soon have my hair cut by Edward Scissorhand. He seems like he'd do a good job.



Now, it certainly doesn't help that I drive around in a humongous one and a half ton truck (needed to pull our trailer - really!).




What kind of image am I projecting, getting out of Big Blue, my hair cut up to THERE? Thank GOD I have two very obvious things that lets everyone know I'm a WOMAN.