Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Yeah - I got my hair cut....unfortunately I got them ALL cut

“A bad hair cut is two people's shame”
Danish Proverb quotes

I did it again, folks. Just shoot me now! I went to the butcher shop hair salon. Why is it that I plunk down money at a hair place, and WALK OUT looking worse than when I walked in?

What is up with that?

I asked for a TRIM.

In hair stylist talk this translates to: "Cut it as short as you want."

Either that or they have their fingers in their ears going, "La la la" while I'm talking. 'Cause they sure aren't listening!

I'm not one to care too much about my hair. Don't get me wrong. I wash it, style it, etc. I'm not too fussy. Till now.

Now I want to cry every time I pass a mirror.

What the heck was she thinking?

Was she REALLY a hair stylist? "Stylist" being the key word.

Come to think of it, I don't recall seeing her license taped to the mirror. True, I wasn't looking for it, but still.

Crap. Let's be honest here. I can't see diddly when my glasses are off. So even if there WAS a license taped there, who could read it?

And besides, once I sit down in that chair, I swear I get hypnotized by the sounds of the scissors snipping. Snip, Snip. My eyes look like this.

Plus, having someone run their hands through my hair? I'm in heaven.

So let's review. We have a hypnotized, blind-as-a-bat, middle-aged woman sitting in your chair. If you told me to quack like a duck and flap my wings I'd probably do it.

But back to the problem at hand. My hair. Or lack thereof.

So, she gets done cutting my hair. Here comes the defining moment. I reach for my glasses, slip them on, and...

Lord love a duck!

"What do you think?" The stylist asks, quite proudly.

I, forever the wuss, and kind person, am at a loss for words. Inside my head I'm thinking, "OH MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR! YOU CALL THIS A HAIRCUT? I COULD HAVE DONE A BETTER JOB THAN THIS!"

But I only reply, "Um, it's a little short."

I try fluffing in up with my fingers, thinking it's still wet. What little is left falls limply back to my scalp.

"Can you put a little sculpting wax on it to puff it up?"

"Sure." She grabs a jar, opens it and spreads some on her hands. Then she pulls some through my hair. That made a world of a difference. Snort.

This does NOT look good.

I look at my bangs and they are crooked. She notices me staring at them.

"I cut your bangs on a slant because I saw that you wore them to the side."

My bangs haven't looked this crooked since my mother cut my hair when I was seven years old.

I told her, "I pushed my bangs to the side because they were getting long, that's all."

"Oh. Well, I'll just cut the tips off to make your bangs even."

Snip, snip.

Now I look like Prince Valiant.

Only his bangs are straighter and his hair is longer.

Jim asked me if I said anything. What would that accomplish? Would it make my hair grow back, like INSTANTLY?


I learned my lesson.

Wal-Mart might have everything.

But they don't have good hair "stylists".


jinksy said...

The consolation prize is, it WILL grow back, and you won't have to visit a hairdresser again for AGES!
Meantime, how about a wig (or two)to ring the changes? There are some super ones around these days...

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

It's like a public shaming when our hair is mutilated! I know just how you feel. Thank goodness that this is one part of our anatomy that grows!

But there was one bonus for you in all of this -- it resulted in great material for your blog.

Where's the accompanying pic? :-)

Sunny said...

I feel for you...I go through this everytime I get a trim. In fact I am due to go this week and it will be the same fiasco!

Gail said...

Bless your heart, it will grow. Faster this time, because the moon sign was right.

Brian Miller said...

hair will grow back...if you really dislike it i suggest getting a mohawk just for fun and shock value and then let it all grow back. smiles.

for a different kind of girl said...

I have had some bad haircuts, but never before have I heard of cutting bangs on a slant. Wouldn't that be called a "Whoops! I'll just *say* I cut them on a slant, but really, I can't cut a straight line..."?

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

oh man - i feel for you! my hair is really fine and has some "thinning" on top. to look at me and the way i dress, you would not think i had an ounce of vanity. i do and it's all in my hair. i can't stand to have a bad cut because any self-esteem i seem to have just goes right out those short little pieces of what used to be my hair.

yep... i'm in total understanding. good thing it does grow, for sure. until then... sun hats?

Ruth said...

Sadly, I can somewhat relate to this, and I just switched back to my old stylist, who lives far away, but is worth it. So sorry for this temporary painful setback. Do a hair growing dance. It will come back!

blueviolet said...

Oh dear Lord, Prince Valiant??? I have my glasses off and can't see for haircuts either and I worry about the results too, but I finally found a stylist who only cuts it too short 1 out of every 15 times or so.

Perhaps, you should walk away from Wal-Mart. NOW!

Shelley Ross said...

Ah, dear, we've all been there, but this sounds like an extreme case.

As someone else here mentioned, where is the picture? Did you chicken out on this one?

Rae said...

Been there. Done that. It is so upsetting when it happens. Sometimes I just want to grow my hair long to avoid the whole ordeal. My hair stylist snips and snips without thinking while she is talking. It is like she forgets that she is whacking away all my hair. I refuse to talk while she holds the scissors to keep her from getting distracted. At least it does grow back. Find a nice hat in the meantime.

Meeko Fabulous said...

OMG! Um no. You're the customer. If you're unhappy, you need to let them know! Otherwise this "stylist" is going to go ahead and butcher every person that gets in their seat! Oh dear! I wish I could just give you a big hug. And what an idiot! "I cut your bangs at a slant because . . ." Um no!!! OMG . . . I wanna fly out and give her a piece of my mind for you! Ugh. At least it will grow back. Just don't go to her again, please. Next time, make sure you give her exact lengths, like an inch or half inch. They tend to understand that better. I think working with all those fumes actually goes to their heads.

Steven Anthony said...

I gave good hair for over 15yrs...I always trimmed when they said trim....well exept that one time, but I was drunk and she did yell alot

Jientje said...

I wanted to say, don't worry, it will grow but some of your readers already beat me to it! Some hair stylists really love to snip those scissors, don't they?

becky said...

Pat, sorry to hear about your 'do. I've had that happen once... totally sucked. Maybe you could do the bandana biker mama thing... Oh, but then you'd have to buy those leather chaps!

Barb said...

How far are you from Edwardsville? I know a great hair stylist here. It'll cost a little more than Wal-Mart, but you'll look fabulous!

SquirrelQueen said...

Sorry about that, how about a hat? We have all been there with the bad cuts and it is never a pretty sight. I started wearing my hair long so they can cut a lot off and I still have some hair.

But why is it when I finally find a stylist I love and then find out they are leaving town the next week?

A New England Life said...

You've got that right, they certainly don't have good stylist. Just ask my daughter! The girl did a terrible job on her hair too.

The only thing I can say is that a few weeks will make a big difference. It always does. Maybe by then it will be more inline with what you wanted in the first place. So sorry, Pat. Believe me, I feel your pain! We've all been there!

Karen said...

Four long months. That's how long it took my last "hair cut" to grow back to what it was when I walked in that place. I will now cut my own. I have one of those razor comb thingies and I figure I can screw it up as well as the next guy, and I wont' charge myself a dime. Plus, every time I look in the mirror, I will just figure I'm getting what I deserve, rather than wondering what I did to deserve what I got!!