Friday, May 21, 2010

Thelma, Louise, and, um...Me?

By the time you read this, I will be going off on a little adventure. I'm hopping on a train and riding about an hour or so northwest to my sister, Linda's house. Both she, and my twin sister, Pam, will pick me up from the train station and then we will drive up to Wisconsin to spend the weekend at Linda's trailer.

First of all, I've never ridden a train by myself. Jim and I have taken the train into Chicago when we'd go down to the Art Museum or to see a play. It was an easy ride. We'd get off at the end of the line. Easy Peasy. Now I'll be riding the train by myself. I hope I don't fall asleep on the train and a) snore - because according to Jim it's a horrendous sound; and b) sleep right through my stop.

This means I'll be nervous, which in turn will cause stomach problems, which in turn leads to bathroom issues. Yeah. I have those. I'll wee in public, well, not in public, per say, but in the BATHROOM, okay maybe not on a moving train, but in a building. But if I have to do the other business? I'd rather have severe pains in my stomach than go, okay?

Anypoo, it should be a wild and wacky weekend. Okay, maybe I have high expectations. Let's just say it should be an interesting weekend. You see, my twin sister is not a camper. Never was, never will be. If you took a sample of her blood and analyzed her DNA, you'll NOT find a gene that looks like this:

She hates the heat, she is never without makeup, and she never wears shorts. One time all of us siblings were going camping at Potato Creek, in Indiana. We convinced Pam to go with us. At the time, Jim and I owned a pop-up trailer - nothing like the luxurious trailer we live in now, but it was a step up from a tent.

Everybody was tucked in for the night. Pam slept on one of the "wing" beds, and Jim and I on the other. Our kids were little at the time, so they were on the table and another bed. As you may or may not know, in a pop up trailer, when a person turns over or moves around on the "wing" bed, the whole trailer jostles.

I was jostled awake from the movement of the trailer. I laid there a moment to figure out what was going on.

Again the trailer moved.

And again.

The movement was coming from Pam's side of the trailer.

So were the swear words that she was whispering fiercely.

"Son of a bitch!"




"Pam! What the heck is going on?" I whispered as I made my way over to her side.

"Something keeps jumping on me. Hitting me on the chest!"

I hit the switch for the small overhead light and found this looking back at us.


photo courtesy of

That sucker was HUGE! We both screamed. Well, as much as we could in a whisper-form. So this mother-tucker was bouncing off of my sister's chest on to the tent top and back down again. This happened a few times. I, myself, thought that she was quite brave. I would have wet my pants AND screamed bloody murder.

As it was, neither of us wanted to touch it. So I did the next best thing. I grabbed a plastic throw-away cup, quickly covered the monster, and dragged his ugly ass ACROSS the tent canvas all the way to the door. Then I swiftly opened the door and threw the cup out! I was a brave soul!

And Pam hasn't been camping since.

So, here's hoping there's no bugs (snort - Wisconsin's state bird is the mosquito!). I already looked at the weather - 80's and 90's. I'm happy. She's not.

She always makes fun of me for playing Dominoes while I'm in AZ. Linda and I play when we're in up Wisconsin. I told Pam that now we'll teach her!

She didn't sound too excited.

But I told her, "Once you play Dominoes, you don't go back."

We drive back to IL on Monday, and to culminate the whole party weekend? Monday night the three of us are seeing James Taylor and Carole King in concert. Sweet!

Tuesday I'll be back with Jim.

I hope he doesn't hurt himself kicking his heels up in the air after I board that train this morning.

"Aahhh...five WHOLE days without Pat!"


Brian Miller said...

haha. love it. those grasshoppers get huge so i can imagine though it gave me the giggles. i spent quite a few summers in pop up campers....and riding the train is cool....

Gail said...

After you said James Taylor, I forgot every thing I had read!

Make me feel like I was there, please.

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Can't wait for the stories you will bring back.

Hope Pam, your intestines and the bugs behave themselves!

Jingle said...

very funny stuff,
Glad that you go home with handful...
Happy Friday!

Wendy said...

The bathroom thing? I've come to understand that's another "thing" women have alike, *and* that men can do #2 ANYWHERE without a second thought to it. (Men & women are just different!)
And i'm kinda like you with the holding it 'til i get stomach problems thing... [rolling eyes]

Remind Pam how you were her Hero when you saved her from that huge monster!
And keep whispering "James Taylor" to her throughout the camping experience to help her get through it. =-) I know it would make ME feel better!


We can't wait to hear about it all when you get back.

Snowflake said...

Sounds like great fun!!! Hope you tell us all about the camping trip next week!!!

Donna said...

Oh Man, sounds like a FUN trip!!!
Hahahaa....Funny story about Pam...
Happy weekend!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Hope you have fun. I am with your sister on the pop-up, though. Tried it.....hated it! Tents are for the young and agile. Never played dominoes. You will have to teach me next time you come through here!

Anonymous said...

Bravo my brave friend...nothing beats the adventures of

your getting close to my nec k of the woods ;)

Laurel said...

Oh, boy do we have alot in common! The "bathroom" thing, being a Wisconsonite and remembering those mosquitos, liking to ride on trains!
Hope you have a nice time on your little trip!

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

we have yet another thing in common... the bathroom thing. i'd rather be miserable than "go" in public (or at work). sometimes, my body refuses to cooperate with me and well... s**t happens.

sounds like you're going to have a great time! relax. train rides are really fun. my dad worked for burlington norther (before 'santa fe' got added to it) and i've ridden the train by myself a couple of times. it's a blast.

becky said...

Have Fun!!!

Betty said...

Too funny! Can't wait for your new stories!
B xx