"OBP" - Observations by Pat

So the other day I'm running an errand and I pass by a car wash called "Wet Willy's". This caused me to grin because a "wet willy" to me is when someone wets their finger and sticks it in someone's ear.




Now why a car wash is named this I have no idea.

Thinking of a Wet Willy led me to think of my old driver's ed teacher, Elmo Hilderbrand, not to be confused with this Elmo:



Old Mr. Hilderbrand used to give out Wet Willies to the student drivers who didn't listen to him. He had fat sausage-like fingers, and I was more afraid of getting his spit filled finger stuck in my ear than I was getting behind the wheel. Luckily I was never a victim of his spit, but I knew kids in my class that had been subjected to it.

When I got home from my errands I decided to look up the exact meaning of "Wet Willy". I was so surprised what I found.

Wikipedia listed a WET WILLY under "school pranks", and described it just like I thought - a wet finger to the ear.

I was surprised to read about some other pranks that I had never heard of like:

1)Hertz Doughnut

This prank fools the victim into giving their permission to get punched. The prankster approaches the chosen target with a closed doughnut or pastry box and asks "Would you like a hertz doughnut?" If the target says yes, the prankster then punches the target in the arm and asks "Hurts, don't it?" (pronounced "doughnut").

2) Kancho

Kancho is a prank often played out in Japan; it is performed by clasping the hands together so the index fingers are pointing out and attempting to insert them sharply into someone's anal region when the victim is not looking. It is similar to the wedgie or a goosing, although goosing acts do not involve direct intimate physical contact. A Kancho is often executed simultaneously as the offending party expresses loudly "Kan-CHO!"

From www.wikipedia.org

Then I found out that there are SO MANY things named Wet Willy.

For instance, there was a band named Wet Willy. They were really popular in the 1970's.



There is a skateboard,



and there's a wooden turkey box call.



I read about a toy from the '80's called Wet Willy water toy that you hook up to a hose and water squirts out of his tube-like hair. I searched high and low for a picture of this toy. You would NOT believe the sites that popped up. I thought I finally found it, but this is what it was......



Not exactly what I was looking for, although it DOES fit the description of a willy squirting water!

I also found out that Wet Willies is a famous bar that is a franchise in the southern states. I found a couple of pictures on the net to show you.





Just look at all those drinks on the wall. Doesn't that look inviting? I was really bummed when I found out that there were restaurants in a couple of the towns that we've been through. Darn it!

Also through my research I found this famous drink served at Wet Willies.

Wet Willie's "Call a Cab" (*Copyright of Wet Willies)

1/4 oz. Midori melon liqueur
1/4 oz. peach schnapps
1/4 coconut rum
1/4 oz. creme de bananes
1/4 oz. Stoli Ohranj vodka
1/4 oz. Southern Comfort peach liqueur
2 1/2 oz. cranberry juice
2 1/2 oz. pineapple juice
2 1/2 oz. Sprite soda
Ice

Mix all ingredients together in a glass or combine in the blender. Add in the juices and Sprite to fill up the glass. Serve!

Saw a link for "Used WILLYS for sale." I have to admit, my curiosity was piqued and my eyebrows were raised. I just HAD to click it. Found out that "WILLYS" are Jeeps.

I also found out how to make an origami "willy" by using Oshibori, or a wet hand towel. Quite interesting, actually. Here's the link. You can make other things, too, like a cow, rabbit, bird, godzilla, etc.

Just because I saw that little car wash sign, look at the plethora of things I learned, and you, TOO, about WET WILLY'S/WILLIES.

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Every time I pass this street it just makes me giggle. Wouldn't you laugh, too?



************************************************************

Another weird observation. I was about to take my pills when I noticed that Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday on my pill dispenser spelled WTF.



Now this may not be a newsflash to the rest of y'all, but it was a real eye-opener to me. So then I started studying the whole SMTWTFS string of letters and thought it would make a good acronym for, "Said My Twin, 'What the F**k' Sista!"

*************************************************************

And finally, I give you the moon.



Or at least a PHOTO of the moon.I took this the other night. Like George Bailey said in "It's A Wonderful Life", "What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down."

Because for you, I'd give you the moon. I appreciate all my followers and comments I receive. I feel the love, people!

All for the love of a dog - Part Three

You may remember my post about Nickoli, my twin sister's dog.



You can refresh your memory here.

After the devastating loss of Nickoli, my sister found another dog that she could love named Benny.



That was Part II. Benny is at a shelter in Indiana right now, being treated for a bad case of heartworm. Benny did well after his first treatment. But today he is having his second treatment, which includes a shot this morning AND another shot tomorrow morning. A double-whammy. It should knock the heck out of him, and again, he'll be on restriction for a few weeks. But I'm sure he won't mind, as long as Bloom is by his side.



Who is Bloom you might ask?

Well it seems that Benny has fallen in love. Not to be confused with "Benny and Joon".



But "Benny and Bloom", the new twosome at the foster home. Two unlikely dogs, down on their luck, one with a questionable background (Benny), one from a family, (Bloom)but due to economic conditions had to give her up, met at the foster home and fall in love.

When my sister, Pam, and I met Benny a month ago, Bloom was already at the foster home. She had recently been rescued by the foster mom,Chris, who raced all the way up to Michigan to rescue Bloom from a shelter that was ready to kill her by gas in a chamber. This is a horrible and painful death. (I'd like to give the benefit of the doubt to her previous owners that they didn't REALIZE it was a kill shelter; but I'm kind that way.)

Bloom was depressed from being away from home. Benny was very, very sick when he was picked up after wandering around 10 days at a fairground and eating out of garbage cans. Both dogs happened to be rescued and brought to the same foster mom.

Much to Chris's amazement, Benny and Bloom developed a friendship. They followed each other all over the yard. One night Benny was inside the building, but Chris didn't realize that he was INSIDE Bloom's cage. When she checked on them in the morning, they were sleeping side by side. They are now inseparable. Bloom has snapped out of her depression. Benny is in love.

Chris and Pam kept in contact via e-mails on Benny's progress. Chris told her about Benny's new love. How one day Bloom took her paw and scraped food out of her dish to give to Benny. Who ever heard of a dog sharing her food?

The director of the shelter sent e-mails to Pam, too. She spoke of how well Benny was doing. She, too, wrote about Bloom, and the two dog's companionship. She wrote, "Would you consider taking both dogs?"

And a seed was planted.

Pam had never intended on taking two dogs. She's never had two dogs at one time. Could she do it? Was it hard?

She mulled over it for a few weeks. But the more she thought about it, the more she was leaning towards giving a home to Bloom, too. But the deciding factor would be how the two dogs reacted when she was with them, and loved on one of them. We set out yesterday to find out.

It was a three hour drive to Indiana. Pam was so anxious to get there because she missed Benny so much. Plus, she wanted to meet Bloom.

Pam greeted Benny again. Benny had that, "Aw, Mom" look, like when a mom spits on a kleenex and wipes the kid's face.



Benny definitely had some pep in his step. He seemed so happy, not only to see us, but just in general.

Pam meets Bloom.



Bloom, too, is subject to Pami's smooches.



I don't think she minded one bit, do you? Either did Benny. He was nearby and didn't say a peep.

Bloom is a real good girl. She is very calm. She just sat there as Pam lifted up her lips and looked at her sparkly white teeth, poked in her ears, felt her whole body over.

Pam brought along doggie treats. She told both Benny and Bloom to sit. Bloom immediately sat down. Benny? Not so much.

Here's Pam trying to teach Benny how to sit.



He needs a little work.

Benny loves toys. This is one thing that he will not share. We're thinking that he probably never had a toy wherever he came from, kind of like a child in an orphanage. When he gets something, he's going to KEEP it! He doesn't rip up the toy; he carries it around with him. Here's Benny with his "bone". (Bloom is NOT interested in toys.)



The dog kennels are set up with an outdoor cage that is connected to a building with a little door. Inside the separate cages continue, each having a bed and their individual food dishes. The building is air conditioned. Bloom seems to like being in the kennel, and Benny likes being with Bloom. So Chris leaves the gate open to their cage and they come and go freely. This is how they sit usually.



Benny sits inside, peeking out at the love of his life, Bloom lies outside, protecting her friend.

How could you separate these two? Would you?

Pam decided to take them both.

Is she crazy?

Who knows. I just know that she loves dogs, and these two dogs deserve a good home. It's fate that brought the two dogs together and now they will live together in a very, very happy home.

We will make the final trip to Indiana in about three weeks to pick up the dogs. It will be an adventure for sure. Stay tuned for Part IV.

Flashback Friday - OKC Memorial

On April 19, 1995 many people were killed or injured when the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building was bombed. There were 168 men, women, and children who died that day.

A memorial was built on the site of the Murrah building, and on April 19, 2000, the Oklahoma City National Memorial Outdoor Symbolic Memorial was dedicated by President Bill Clinton.

We visited the memorial in January of 2006. All the photos are mine unless otherwise noted.

All information in italics is directly from the memorial's website.

The first thing I noticed before entering the memorial is the fence. It is loaded with trinkets, notes, flowers, etc. from people from all over the world to honor those who have died and survived.

The Fence

The first Fence was installed to protect the site of the Murrah Building. Almost immediately, people began to leave tokens of love and hope on the Fence. Those items now total more than 60,000 and are collected and preserved in our archives. Today, more than 200 feet of the original Fence gives people the opportunity to leave tokens of remembrance and hope.



Past the fence is a huge, tall, wall, with a cut-out section to walk through. Along the top it says this: (click to enlarge photo)



This wall, and the one across the reflecting pool are called the Gates of Time.

Gates of Time

These monumental twin gates frame the moment of destruction – 9:02 a.m. – and mark the formal entrances to the Memorial. The East Gate represents 9:01 a.m. on April 19, and the innocence of the city before the attack. The West Gate represents 9:03 a.m., the moment we were changed forever, and the hope that came from the horror in the moments and days following the bombing.



Reflecting Pool

The pool occupies what was once N.W. Fifth Street. Here, a shallow depth of gently flowing water helps soothe wounds, with calming sounds providing a peaceful setting for quiet thoughts. The placid surface shows the reflection of someone changed forever by their visit to the Memorial.

Field of Empty Chairs

The 168 chairs represent the lives taken on April 19, 1995. They stand in nine rows to represent each floor of the building, and each chair bears the name of someone killed on that floor. Nineteen smaller chairs stand for the children. The field is located on the footprint of the Murrah Building.




In the bottom of the chairs are lights which turn on at night. It was such an eerie feeling to see those empty chairs, and to see those tiny ones just turned my stomach.



The Survivor Tree

The Survivor Tree, an American Elm, bore witness to the violence of April 19, 1995, and withstood the full force of the attack. Years later, it continues to stand as a living symbol of resilience. The circular promontory surrounding the tree offers a place for gathering and viewing the Memorial.




I don't know if this is still spray painted on the building or not. This was sprayed on the building by an emergency crew who was pulling out victims from the bombing. This building wall was still intact.



In front of the Museum is the whole children's area. The outpouring from children was overwhelming.

Children's Area

In the aftermath of the blast, children from around the country and the world sent in their own expressions of encouragement and love. That care is represented today by a wall of tiles painted by children and sent to Oklahoma City in 1995. In addition, buckets of chalk and chalkboards built into the ground of the Children's Area give children a place where they can continue to share their feelings -- an important component of the healing process.








My mother always asked this question. I have to agree with her.



The museum is right next door to the Outdoor memorial, and it is well worth the few dollars entry fee. There is a LOT to see, and you can actually HEAR an audiotape of the bombing during a board meeting. Experience the confusion right after the blast, see a portion of that building that was damaged from the bombing, hear survivor accounts, watch news broadcasts, the world's reaction, the investigation, and anything else you can think of about the bombing. It's true that you might leave there a little overwhelmed, but it left an impression on me and I was truly glad that we visited this memorial. Many, many innocent people were killed that day, but many heroes emerged, too.

And finally, when we left the memorial, this statue of Jesus is directly across the street from it. It is titled, "And Jesus Wept".



photo courtesy of http://www.dcmemorials.com

If you should be traveling near Oklahoma City, I would definitely recommend a visit to this memorial. It is very moving, informative, and well worth your time.

I see smiley faces

Do you remember this kid?



His name is Haley Joel Osment and he saw dead people.

Well, not for real, of course, but in the movie, The Sixth Sense, with Bruce Willis.



I see smiley faces. In weird places. FOR REAL.

It all started about two years ago. We were in Carlsbad, NM. I had mixed up some tuna with mayo the day before, but I added a little bit too much mayo so it was on the soupy side. When I took the lid off of the container the next day, I was surprised at what I found. An image appeared before my eyes! It was a smiley face!



I quickly called out to Jim, "Hon, come quick!"

He rambled into the kitchen, looking a little leery as he observed my hand covering up the bowl. I excitedly explained, "You know when people see the face of Jesus? You know, like on a potato chip or a piece of toast?"

"Yeah?" he answered hesitantly.

"Well, look what's in our tuna fish! A smiley face!" I said triumphantly as I stepped away from the bowl.

He wasn't too impressed. As a matter of fact, he said, "It looks a little evil," and with that he turned and walked out of the room! That man just doesn't have my vision! I guess I had smiley faces on the brain because the previous night I made Jim pull the truck over so I could take this picture.



This was taken in the parking lot of a restaurant named "Happy's", with the letters on tall poles. At night only the letters A P Y S were lit up on one side, and on the other side only the letter Y. I guess they weren't too Happy to replace the bulbs.

I have this large pot of cacti that we have been lugging around for a few years. It's great when we are in Arizona and the pot can stay outside the whole time. But when we are on the road, we have to move this baby in and out of the trailer all the time. It weighs between 20-25 pounds. Jim would LOVE if we accidentally left it at a campground. One day when hauling the pot back into the trailer, I noticed that two small flowers had bloomed on the barrel cactus, and that a piece of straw had blown and stuck to the cactus. This is the result.



I KNOW! Funny, right?

So, a couple of weeks ago, I was making dinner. We had gnocchi in vodka sauce. Gnocchi is a small potato dumpling. Imagine my surprise when I poured the sauce over the dumplings, and with the small pieces of spices, etc., this is what looked backed a me:



If I didn't know better, I'd think these were signs from above.

"DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY."

Either that or I need to lay off on some of the medications I'm taking!

And how was YOUR day?

It's hot outside. It's humid.

You ever heard that saying, "You don't sweat much for a fat girl"?

It doesn't apply to me.

I sweat. My hair gets wet. Am I proud of it? No. Just stating the facts.

I'm grumpy when the humidity is up. The higher the humidity, the higher my grump factor.

My semi-annual doctor's visit was this morning. She thinks my persistent cough is due to post nasal drip from allergies. (Thanks for sharing. You're welcome!) My voice is still rough around the edges, and if I talk a lot, it wears out. So my voice isn't as strong or loud as it usually is. Jim can't hear what I'm saying. I have to repeat most everything I say. It's a catch-22. This makes me grumpy.

Last week I went for lab work to be done in advance of the doctor's visit. I thought it odd that a) I didn't have to pee in a cup (although inside I was doing a happy dance) and b) that they only took one vial of blood.

Fast forward to today - The doctor is looking at the lab results and sees only one test was done. Huh?

Long story short, there was some misunderstanding, so I needed to have more blood work drawn. Yippee! Oh, and yeah, pee in a cup.

After my visit I went directly downstairs to the lab. The nurse called me back and asked, "Do you mind if a student takes your blood today?"

I must have mastered the "Pami" look. Because even though I hemmed and hawed like "Pat" would, saying, "Uh, well," the nurse took one look at my face and said, "Never mind," rather briskly,then "come right this way!"

"Pami" is my twin sister, and she has this murderous look that when she gives it means, "Back the F**k off, are you F**king kidding me?, and go F**k yourself" all rolled into one. I've seen grown men cry when she's looked at them like that. Seriously.

Back to my veins. If they were easy to find, then it would have been no big deal for this "student" to take my blood. But since my veins like to hide like you're on a flipping treasure hunt looking for them, I didn't want to volunteer to be a pin cushion for this student's summer project.

Was I wrong?

But she got back at me. She handed me THE CUP. You know the one.

The one I have to pee into. It's like asking an elephant to pee in a thimble. For those of you who don't remember my last experience, click here.

I won't go into details here. Let's just say it was messy and it wasn't pretty. But I'm getting better at hitting the target.

Next stop - Bed, Bath and Beyond.

I was specifically looking for this. Do you know what it is?



It's a silicone steamer.

Here's what my old one looks like.



The problem with the old one is that the middle doohickey thingy keeps falling off, and the metal is hot, hot, hot to touch. The silicone steamer is flexible and doesn't fall apart, plus I touched it with my bare hands after steaming a tamale and didn't burn my fingerprints off. This is good news, unless you are thinking about robbing a bank and you WANT to burn your fingerprints off. Then I say, stay with the metal steamer.

Anyway, back to my grumpiness. Pay attention.

I went to pay for my goodies and noticed a long line and, of course, only one cashier working.

This pissed me off.

Then I watched as a young man walked to another register and started doing something there. The woman in front of me walked over to him, said a few words, then came back to me and said incredulously,"Can you believe he is open and didn't even tell any of us to go into his line?" In the meantime, new people, who had NOT been waiting for ANY amount of time, went into his line.

This pissed me off more.

I pushed my cart over to his line. Then a third cashier came out. So the long line of people waiting dissipated quickly.

I, of course, picked a line where the lady needed a price check or something so I stood there, trying to stay calm.

All of a sudden, the cashier who's line I INITIALLY was standing in came over and said to the lady BEHIND ME, "Why don't you come over to my line and I can help you?"

SAY WHAT????

EXCUSE ME????

And you know what I did.

I gave him the "PAMI" look.

He actually jumped back a little.

"Oh, oh, I'm sorry. I, I didn't see you standing there." (I think he wet his pants at this point.) "YOU come to my line and I'll take care of YOU." He turned to the lady behind me and said, "I'm sorry, you can come too!"

Damn! I must have that look down-pat! Or should I say "down-pam"! I've not seen myself in a mirror making the "Pami" look, but I have a feeling it looks a little like this, only meaner:



image courtesy of nightscribe.com

We left BB&B and still had to do some grocery shopping. My energy level was slipping fast, but I schlepped into the store to pick up some items.

A lot of the produce sucked.

Snarl.

We made our way to the meat department. It was a freezer over there. I can't imagine their electric bill! The two long refrigerated sections of meat, cheese and deli were almost unbearable to walk through - it was like being in the Arctic!

Growl.

I did find an interesting/odd thing. Look at this. Already cooked bacon that you just heat up in the microwave.



I mean, seriously, can you get any lazier than that? How long does it take to fry up bacon? This was quite costly, too. About $8.00/pound.

Finally we were done gathering our items of choice and got in line to check out. That moved quickly enough. The only hold up was the dumb blond who was paying the bill (read - me). I had to slide my debit card about 5 times to get it right. Then it flashed me a message about cash back, I pushed "no", something else happened, maybe asking if I'd give my first born up, I don't know. Anyway, the cashier said to me, "Hmmm, I've NEVER seen this error message before!"

Figures!

We had to go back to square one. I STILL had to swipe my card twice for it to work.

I limped out of the store (by this time my toe was hurting me), and the heat hit me in the face like a hot towel.

Moral of the story: Don't EVER leave your house in 90 degree weather. EVER.

Or you'll just be grumpy for the rest of the day.

Now leave me some comments and make me happy again.

Arithmetic

That's an old-fashioned word,isn't it? You don't hear it that much anymore, if at all.

And no, this post has NOTHING to do with math. (I know, that's a double negative, just to prove how much I abhor math. It's a four-letter word don't 'cha know!)

So why the heck did I title it, "Arithmetic"?

I'll tell you why.

Because my Daddy taught me how to spell that word.

Here's how.

A Rat In The House Might Eat The Ice Cream

A-r-i-t-h-m-e-t-i-c

Got it?

But a rat in MY house eating the ice cream would be the least of my worries.

A rat in my house, PERIOD, would just piss me the hell off.

A couple of years ago, we actually got mice in our trailer.




It's bad ENOUGH that I am TRAILER TRASH, but do I have to live up to my NAME?

To the best of our knowledge, we think the little varmints crawled up the water hose and somehow squeezed into the hole by the sink. Anyway, that's my husband's thinking.

I was suspicious for a few days that something was in our trailer. I have VERY GOOD EARS, and would hear our garbage bag crinkle around at night when we were both in bed.

I was sick with a bad cough/cold (similar to now), so I was spending my nights on the recliner in the back of the trailer. I heard some papers rustling again, and I thought to myself that I'd have to mention it to Jim in the morning. My throat was killing me so I got up to make some hot tea. I didn't put my glasses on, meaning I was pretty blind, but stumbled around in the kitchen getting out the tea cup, etc. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something zip up the curtains! As I got closer I saw that it was a mouse, frozen in action, probably hoping he would blend in with the color of the curtains.

I went flying up to the bedroom and started shaking Jim. Unfortunately, I didn't have much of a voice due to my sore throat.

Now imagine being woken up from a dead sleep by your crazed wife, who's screaming, but it sounds like she just gargled with Drano and chewed up razor blades, but slowly the words sink in, "It's a mouse! It's a mouse!"

Jim jumped out of bed, and without putting on HIS glasses, grabs a PAPER TOWEL, goes right over to the mouse, who for some reason is still frozen to the spot, and GRABS the mouse, opens the trailer door, and tosses him out into the night! I stand there dumbfounded because a) the fact that the mouse didn't move astounds me; b) the fact that Jim could even SEE the mouse without HIS glasses amazes me; and c) the fact that Jim would grab the mouse with just a PAPER TOWEL, EWW!, makes me want to throw up AND hug him at the same time!

Things settle down, Jim goes to bed, I make my tea, and call it a night.

The next morning we start looking for traces of the mouse in the house.

I've NEVER seen mouse poop before this. It looks like this.



Kind of like wild rice. Yeah, it took a long while after this for me to eat that again.

Anyway, after the mouse-up-the-curtain incident, we thought we were done with mice.

Go ahead and laugh, I'll wait.

So, yes, it's true, where there's one mouse, there's more.

Do you mind if I say shit? 'Cause I'll tell ya. I said a LOT worse.

Okay, so I looked for wild rice/mouse poop and I was surprised what I found. It was in my silverware drawer. Yuk!!

Also in my utensil drawer. Double Yuk!!

I dumped everything out of the two drawers and scrubbed them, put them back in.

The next day - same thing. Black little "lines" everywhere!

Son of a biscuit!

We have more mice!

After daily washings of all my silverware, my sister finally said, "Why don't you put your stuff in a big ziploc bag? Then you only have to wipe the drawer out each morning."

I could have kissed her! She is so smart - no wonder we call her Linda Martha Stewart!

But back to the infestation problem.

Of course we got on the internet to see what we could do.

We bought one of those "sonic" devices that are supposed to keep away all bugs, pests, mice. Yeah right. That's all it did was take up an outlet. It didn't work. Either that or our mice were deaf. I wish I would have thought about that. I know sign language. Although anyone knows the INTERNATIONAL sign language that I wanted to give them.



Course if I HAD this cat, I wouldn't of had mice to begin with!

SONIC DEVICE

Okay! So we have the plug in device. Then we read that mice don't like "Bounce" sheets.



Something about the smell deterring them from entering the home. So we stuck those sheets by every one of our slide outs. Even the one in our bedroom, even though I NEVER saw or heard a mouse up there.

Not only did the Bounce sheets NOT stop them from coming in, but they used them for TOILET PAPER!!!

I wish I were kidding.

Yep. Mouse poop on the bounce sheets. Kind of like we were paper training them.

SONIC DEVICE + BOUNCE SHEETS

Oh, yes, in the mean time, we were using traps.

We tried the sticky traps.



I know some people might think these are inhumane. Try living with a few mice for awhile. You'll change your mind.

So, yeah, we tried the sticky traps. These mice were strong. They just left part of their FUR on the trap. But they got away.

SONIC DEVICE + BOUNCE SHEETS + STICKY TRAPS

My sister-in-law suggested we stick some "ugly fruit" around the trailer. They look like this:



They are the color of tennis balls, but look like "ET" brains. Wonderful. So now we have 6 or 7 ugly fruit, or "Hedge" fruit spread around, plus bounce sheets, plus a sonic doohickey thingy, and a furry glue trap.

SONIC DEVICE + BOUNCE SHEETS + STICKY TRAPS + UGLY FRUIT

Then Jim read that mice didn't like the smell of moth balls.



So he put a whole bunch in our "basement" (storage area) under our trailer. Well guess what? The only thing he got rid of was me! The fumes were SO BAD that I got an instant migraine!

I feel like you are laughing at me. Are you?

You can, you know. Because NOW it is funny. But then? Not so much. I was in tears most of the time. I wanted to move out of the trailer and live in a hotel for a couple of weeks until Jim could prove to me that he rounded up all the dead bodies.

But we couldn't afford a hotel, PLUS our camping site. (Of course, a divorce is pretty expensive, too.)

So Jim removed the moth balls from the basement, and buried them around our trailer, especially by the wheels, to try and keep the varmints away. We were one stinking mess.

But we still had mice.

SONIC DEVICE + BOUNCE SHEETS + STICKY TRAPS + UGLY FRUIT + MOTH BALLS

We also read that mice didn't like the smell of peppermint. (I don't know how anybody really knows what mice like or dislike - that's all I know is, this proves you can't believe everything you read on the internet!)

We found a place that sold different kinds of oils and scored on peppermint oil. We put a few drops of it on some cotton balls and spread those around the Bounce sheets and ugly fruit. It was getting mighty crowded in our trailer!

SONIC DEVICE + BOUNCE SHEETS + STICKY TRAPS + UGLY FRUIT + MOTH BALLS + PEPPERMINT OIL

It was time to leave the campground we were staying at in Minnesota, so we packed up all our cares and woes, and maybe mice, and headed to Wisconsin.

I'll be damned if those little devils didn't take a trip with us!

Jim went out and bought the regular old-fashioned metal mouse traps.



THIS WAS WAR!!

SONIC DEVICE + BOUNCE SHEETS + STICKY TRAPS + UGLY FRUIT + MOTH BALLS + PEPPERMINT OIL + METAL MOUSE TRAP

Oh, we were feeling quite smug that evening, I have to admit! Jim rubbed peanut butter on the trap, set it, then climbed into bed.

We didn't hear a thing overnight.

Jim checked the trap in the morning. It was still set.

But the peanut butter was gone!

Why I oughta!!!!

SONIC DEVICE + BOUNCE SHEETS + STICKY TRAPS + UGLY FRUIT + MOTH BALLS + PEPPERMINT OIL + METAL MOUSE TRAP + PEANUT BUTTER

"Aha!" Jim thought. "I'll put CHEESE on the trap!"

So that's what he did.

We went to bed, and before long we heard a loud CLAP!

Yess!!

He ran down to check!

The cheese was gone, and there was no mouse.

We had some VERY CLEVER mice on our hands.

SONIC DEVICE + BOUNCE SHEETS + STICKY TRAPS + UGLY FRUIT + MOTH BALLS + PEPPERMINT OIL + METAL MOUSE TRAP + PEANUT BUTTER + CHEESE

It had now been about two weeks of fighting the battle of the mice. I was tired. Jim was tired. The ugly fruit was attracting fruit flies. The moth ball smell lingered in the air, mingling with the peppermint oil. I was tired of living out of a ziploc bag in my silverware drawer.

Then a light bulb went off over Jim's head. He would SUPERGLUE the cheese to the trap.

You heard me.

That night we eagerly climbed in bed for all the wrong reasons. We were hoping to hear the clap of the trap and the last breath of a rodent.

Sure enough, SNAP! We both jumped up in bed cheering. Jim ran to the kitchen, and....and...




SCORE!!

He set the trap two more times with the same piece of stinking cheese super-glued to the trap, and we caught/killed a total of three mice (not including the first one that Jim promised me he had strangled with his bare hands).

SONIC DEVICE + BOUNCE SHEETS + STICKY TRAPS + UGLY FRUIT + MOTH BALLS + PEPPERMINT OIL + METAL MOUSE TRAP + PEANUT BUTTER + CHEESE + SUPERGLUE

The moral of the story is: Don't live in a trailer! No. I mean, tenacity pays off AND don't believe EVERYTHING you read on the internet, even IF Mr. Gore DID invent it. But you can ALWAYS believe what you read here. Well, almost. But this story is the GOD'S TRUTH.

Oh, yeah. And this is why I hate A-R-I-T-H-M-E-T-I-C!

It's Here!

It arrived about a week ago.

I had it delivered to my sister's house.

I thought it would be mailed in a box, wrapped in plain brown paper. You know, kind of like when you order something naughty from one of those sex magazines, er, or so I've been told. hee-hee

But no. It arrived like this.



So all the world can see.

Oh, I fell for it all right. Hook, line and credit card.

For those of you who may be living under a rock and don't know what "ZUMBA" is, it is an exercise routine to Latin music.

I am so gullible. I was flipping channels one day, and I was pulled in. I watched all these beautiful women showing off their abs, sweating their, well, ABS, off, and SMILING while they were dancing. Granted, they were probably PAID for this endorsement, but they did look happy.

Here's the problem. I'm a fat white chick with no rhythm who can't dance a lick.

But there are DVD's people! Three in fact!

And two (count 'em, 2!) sticks to shake while dancing!



C'mon, doesn't that make you want to shake your thang?

There were testimonials from fat women who lost inches off their waist, dropped dress sizes, etc. Here's what I'm thinking.

If they can do it, why can't I? They had to start somewhere, right? They probably had all the aches and pains that I do and the lack of exercise in their daily life.

So I'm going to give it a try.

Even if it kills me.

Okay, I'm back. I watched the 60 minute Basic Steps video.

I lasted 20 minutes.

It started out easy enough. They give you the name of the dance, show it to you in regular motion, then take you step-by-step through the dance slowly. If it's a two part dance, using your arms and legs, they'll show you first the steps with your legs, then add the arms part.

Easy peasy, right?

Welllll...... somewhat. The first 20 minutes weren't too bad. But here are some of the problems I ran into:

1) okay - I live in a trailer - my space is LIMITED - AND carpeted. This seems to be a no-no. It is NOT easy to slide across the floor in dance moves. I looked a little spastic. I don't need ANY help in that department.

2) My house moves when I jump around. This is not good.

3) I have bad feet. Fallen arches, flat feet, whatever. I wore my gym shoes, but still had pain running along the bottom of my feet, even when STANDING THERE DOING NOTHING. This, also, is not good. (This probably means a trip to a podiatrist for much needed inserts for my shoes.)

4) Some moves call for "sticking your chest out". This is dangerous. I am top-heavy. I am afraid of falling over.

5) It's intimidating to watch these three skinny babes up there shaking their groove thang, with their belly buttons winking at me. Can't they at least have one fat chick dancing to prove it can be done?



6) Between stopping to cough, and praying that a little pee wouldn't escape when jumping around, I have a long way to go before looking like this.

Things I learned:

1) The old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be.

2) When the instructors say, "Give me some flavor", it has a whole different meaning from The Cooking Channel. It means "move those hips!" and "move those shoulders!" to the beat of the music. Make exaggerated movements.



3) This is the first time I wished I was Latino. Maybe I'd have more rhythm. And I'd be able to say more than, "Yo tango le chuga en mis pantaloonas!" (translates to: I have lettuce in my pants.)

4) An HOUR of dance steps is overwhelming. I'll watch the 20 minute basic video to see which dance steps it involves and see if I can get by with what I learned. Otherwise, I'll be studying the dance moves video for awhile. It doesn't matter since no one is watching me and it's still exercise.

If I still think I can't "ZUMBA", what's the worse that can happen?

I sell the whole thing on e-Bay and get less than what I paid for it?

Weekend Reflection - Take a Dip!

With the dog days of summer upon us, how about a refreshing dip in the old watering hole? I love the bright colors of these huge "pool" toys and their mirrored reflections in the dark water.





For more Weekend Reflections, visit James.