The Woes of a one-footed Woman

Last Saturday I  had surgery on my big toe, or as they call it in the medical world,  the "great toe". I don't consider myself a procrastinator, per se, but when it comes to surgery I guess I am. I have been in pain for about three years now, and the pain had progressed to the point that I could hardly walk any distance without limping. I walked very, very slow. When Jim and I would go places, if I didn't hold his hand to reign him in, he would end up walking 10 feet in front of me. It would either look like we weren't even together, or like we were in the culture where the woman had to walk 10 feet behind, or is it 10 feet in front of her husband?

Anyway, I bit the bullet, or stuck my toe under the knife as it would be, and am glad the surgery is over. Now my foot is wrapped up and I cannot put any pressure on it. The doctor said that I am only allowed to get up to go to the bathroom and I could walk on the heel of the operated foot. Did you ever try to just walk on your heel? It's not easy folks! I was using a walker that had belonged to my mother. It was the kind of walker that you had to lift and put down with each step, as it had no wheels. This may not sound like a big deal, but when you are old, overweight, have fibromyalgia, and are just plain out of shape, this is a big to do! Going to the bathroom really became such an issue. I was kind of thinking that those commercials for "Depends" didn't look half bad! Then my friend Barb, came over with lots of goodies for me. She brought me crutches and two other walkers. One walker has two wheels on it and pushes easily, even on the carpet. The other walker has FOUR wheels and is quite dangerous for a clod like me! I can actually "kneel" on the seat and "scoot" around to where I want to go! Whoa! I have to admit that I've put a few nicks in the walls and doors just with one use. So I am sticking to the walker with two wheels and getting around somewhat easily. Although my body is screaming for me to just sit down. Jim says to me "I'm going to have to get you to do push-ups!" Like as if this is going to help me right now! I mean, I am a weakling. I have no body strength. But it doesn't help that I also have muscle problems.

Putting all the lack of mobility issues aside, just the mere fact of being grounded has really opened my eyes. I didn't realize all the little things I took comfort in doing each morning that now I can't do. Simple things. Like making the bed.  Or filling the teakettle and putting it on the stove. Or opening the blinds on the window above the kitchen sink. First I'd turn the wand to open the blinds, then I'd gently pull on the rope to lift the blinds up high to let the morning light in. Next I'd walk over to the large sliding glass doors that face the busy street and open the blinds to a certain slant so that it lets the sun shine in but gives us some privacy from anybody walking by. I love when the rooms heat up from the sun. My house plants sit on the dining room table and seem to stretch their arms in the sun's heat. I always check to see if they need a drink of water. Now that is just another request I have to ask Jim. All these little things I didn't think about what I was mobile. Now I sit here and contemplate what things are trivial and what things I will ask Jim to do for me. He has been great and waits on me. He brings me food and drink and whatever else I ask for. But it is hard to be a patient just as it is hard to be the caregiver. Soon I will be back on my feet again and I am sure that both of us will be so happy when that time comes!

I am sorry that I haven't commented on your blogs, but I have been reading them. Right now I am working from my mini iPad, but it is not easy. I dictate into the microphone and then laugh when I see what comes out on print. I usually then have to go back and correct either the spelling or change the word altogether. I guess I don't speak as clearly as I thought I did!

What I need to get around