I am overweight.
Maybe that's too harsh. How about if I say that I am "pleasingly plump". Although who's pleased by my plumpness, I don't know. I know that I need to exercise. The doctor tells me, my husband tells me (in a good way), and my inner voice tells me. True, when they speak it sounds like the adults on the Charlie Brown specials.....
I suffer from various health issues like diabetes and fibromyalgia. So exercising would do me a world of good. So why don't I do it?
Shut up. Why don't YOU exercise?
It's not a question of laziness. Okay, maybe partly it's due to laziness. But anything I try to do, part of my body hurts. Like today, for instance. I thought I would try to do Beginning Yoga.
Pull up a chair. Let me tell you how this all went down.
I found a beginning yoga DVD from the library. I watched it all the way through to make sure that I could do the exercises. No problem. Easy peasy, right? Hahahahahaha
This morning I put on my exercise clothes, moved the coffee table out of the way (I was tired already), and got down to business.
It started out okay......standing legs apart, arms stretched out on either side of my body, palms up, then reach my hands up above my head and bring them together in front of my chest.
Damn! I'm doing yoga!
Things started to go downhill after that. I guess what threw me off was when I saw a man standing on my patio looking at me through my blinds.
Well, I don't know if he was exactly looking at me, per se, but he DID scare the bejesus out of me. He was one of the workmen who have been working on the condominiums in our subdivision, which have been re-sided and new decks put on. Every month or so I find a man outside on my patio doing God knows what. THIS man seemed to be fiddling with something. Wait. That sounds wrong. I mean, he wasn't fiddling with something on his person, but something on the wall or the deck or something.
As discreetly as I could, I moved this big old body across the room and yanked my curtains shut. So much for yoga being tranquil and stress-free.
This rattled me more than I'd like to admit. I tried to get into the pose that the instructor was showing, twisting my body into what looked like a Picasso painting
|Nude under a pine tree- Pablo Picasso|
I stretch, I contorted, I was just about there and then.....I fell.
Seriously? Uh, yeah. I fell doing yoga. I am so glad that I was in the privacy of my own home, with only one workman watching me, instead of in a studio with upteen other women.
Of course, I started laughing at myself.
Got right back up and tried again. The instructor kept stressing that "even if we couldn't complete the move, any stretching would help".
I'm sure he was right.
What hurt me the most during this exercise? My feet. I have TERRIBLE feet. I had pains running along my arches. So I had to put my gym shoes on in the middle of the DVD. Hopefully this will prevent the pain from starting next time.
Towards the end, we had to lie on the floor and do some leg stretches. I made the mistake of closing my eyes when I rolled from side to side.
I instantly got nauseous. I got this weird thing that I get seasick very easily if I'm looking down while Jim drives out of the driveway, if someone leans on my chair and it moves, watching a movie with a "shaky" lens, etc. When I get seasick, I instantly get a headache and stomachache.
Yeah. I'm a riot at an amusement park. I'll hold all your stuff or watch your kids while you go on all the rides!
So what have we learned today?
Yoga can cause dizziness, falling down, pains in the feet, and strange men to look through your windows.