Friday, May 31, 2013

Friday's Funnies #13

Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, "I'm going to become a lion tamer."
The other replies, "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming."
"Yes I do!"
"Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?"
"Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down."
"Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?"
"Well, then I takes that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down."
"Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What you gonna do then?"
"Well, then I take that gun they all carry, and I shoot him."
"Well, what if that gun doesn't work? What will you do then?"
"Well, then I pick up some of the s*** that's on the bottom of the cage, and I throw it in his eyes, and I run out of the cage."
"Well, what if there ain't no s*** in the bottom of the cage? What you gonna do then?"
"Well, that's dumb. Cause if that lion comes at me, and he throws the chair out of the cage, and he bites the whip in two, and my gun don't work, there's going to be some s*** on the bottom of that cage, you can bet on that."

And finally, you must watch this video. It is a little long, about 7 minutes or so, but it so worth it! I couldn't stop laughing!

Nina Conti live at the Apollo - the art of ventriloquism at its best from artFido - fetching art on Vimeo.

Laughter is the brush that sweeps away
the cobwebs of your heart.

Mort Walker


Lynda said...

Pat - - The video WAS very funny! I have never seen that ventriloquist or those masks used before. It's great to start the day with a smile!!!

Brian Miller said...

ha. there will most surely be shit on the bottom of the cage if that happens to me...smiles...

did she say video? ack, school filter must have edited that out...

JoJo said...

Very cute!!! My audio is screwed up on my lappy so I'll have to come back to the video once I figure it out!

Adam said...

I saw a act at the circus where I guy was taming like 12 tigers at a time. It's amazing how even the wildest animals can be trained

in the coop said...

How clever she is! I've never seen anything like the video before. And yes, I laughed, too.

Liz said...

School bus driver = lion tamer? Yeah, I can see that.

I'll have to check out the video later. The computers at work just won't stream videos real well.

Mama Zen said...

The lion joke cracked me up!

Fragrant Liar said...

There'd be some sh*t on the ground alright!