"Women avoid jail time in glue-related revenge plot"
Okay, so there's this man. He cheats on his wife. With THREE other women. All four women get together, lure said man into hotel room, tie him and and SUPERGLUE his PENIS to his STOMACH. PENIS-STOMACH. YOWSER. I'm not thinking pain here. I'm thinking length. Can't help it. No wonder he was stringing along 4 women. The woman who actually did the gluing said that her decision to grab nail glue from her makeup bag was "a stupid spur-of-the-minute decision."
All the women received was one year probation plus community service. I hope it doesn't include making crafts with the senior citizens at the retirement home. I wouldn't trust them with any glue.
My father was proud of his Italian heritage. You could not utter the word "Wop" around him, and the only time the word "Dago" was used was when we referred to "Dago" (Italian) bread.
But I did make my Dad laugh when I came home one time with this joke. Please excuse my childish drawing. Art is NOT my strong suit.
This is an Italian Wheel.
Dago thru rain, dago thru snow, dago thru sleet. And when they have a flat dago, "wop, wop, wop." (Disclaimer: I feel I can tell this joke since I am Italian.)
Imagine my surprise when I came across a picture of this bike. I don't know if it's made in Italy, though.
This is just how I'd want my nails done. A walking advertisement for fast food joints. It would make me want to chew my nails.
Looks like "Pa" likes gambling, too. But he didn't play his cards right and "Ma" caught him cheating - but not at cards!
Looks like this person is the one that needs the luck.
Now here's someone with a good sense of humor.
Making light of a heavy situation.
This is what one would need to light their cigarette in a "no-smoking" establishment, to show exactly how they feel about that "NO SMOKING" rule.
"Woman says her love handles saved her life."
According to the Associated Press, a Florida woman named Samantha Lynn Frazier heard two pops as she walked into a bar in New Jersey on Saturday, February 20. She felt pain and saw blood on her hand after she grabbed her side. She was later quoted as saying, "I want to be as big as I can if it’s going to stop a bullet."
Now I have even MORE reason to eat. I'm dodging bullets.