Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Why is it....that when I'm cruising along down the road, some idiot pulls out in front of me, even though there's nobody behind me, then goes slow, so I have to slow down for them? Uh, hello? Couldn't you have just waited till I passed?
Why is it....wrong that I want to slap the person wearing their pants halfway down their butts? For what reason? Do I care what their drawers look like? Unless they're this person, I don't give two craps about them.
Why is it....that the dip runs out before the chips or vice versa?
Why is it....wrong that when I see a big breasted woman out in public without a bra I want to ask her, "Seriously? Have you looked in a mirror lately?"
Why is it....that you can't only sneeze once?
Why is it....that a teeny tiny paper cut makes me want to cry like a baby?
Why is it....That when you pay with cash at a restaurant, some waitresses give you back BIG bills, hoping that you'll reciprocate with a BIG tip?
Why is it....that car dealers think putting a huge gorilla out in front of their dealership will make you want to buy a car?
Why is it....There can be nothing on TV for weeks, and then, BAM! Two good shows on a the same time!
Why is it....that we have to have so many fricking remote controls to watch television? Remember when we had to get off our butts to change the channel?
Why is it....that when I pour my pop into a glass and it looks like it's going to overflow, if I scream, "Oh, oh, oh" - it won't overflow?
Why is it....that one day the weather is nice and summer-like, and then - BAM! Fall is here with a vengeance - and I don't mean with the pretty colored leaves. I mean with windy, cold days. Rain. Cloudy skies. Yuk.
Why is it....that I can't find a seat belt that doesn't choke me while sitting in a car?
Why is it....that the drug commercials have to list the side effects, making me not want to take the drug in the first place? And even if they have a person talking with a nice voice does not convince me that the product is safe.
Why is it....that I am like a dog with a fire hydrant, and even though I've just gone to the bathroom, if I see another bathroom I think, "Oh! I'd better go to the bathroom. I might not see another one for awhile!"
Why is it....that TV shows can make me cry even when I KNOW they are not real? Right? RIGHT?