Two old ladies go to the movies...

Recently I invited my friend Barb out to the show. She recently had hip replacement surgery, so her days have been filled with doctor's appointments and therapy. She's healing pretty well, and uses a cane only if she's out in public.

I wanted to see the movie, "Hope Springs" with Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones.

We arrived at the theater at about 4:50 pm. Usually tickets are offered at a discount price before 6 pm. Around here anyway.

Barb was first in line. She told the girl behind the ticket counter, "One for Hope Springs, please."

"Ten dollars," the girl answered.

Barb just handed over the money.

I said, "Are you kidding me? Don't you have an 'old people's' rate?" (even though at some places that is 65 and over, and I'm 56, I've been known to go along with it).

The girl said, "No. Not when we offer the summer discount rate," and pointed to this small sign.

The sign read, "summer rate $5 all movies before 6:00 pm MONDAY-THURSDAY"

A lotta good that's going to do us on a FRIDAY.

Why don't they have a senior rate on the days that the summer rate doesn't apply?

OR have a senior rate all the time, and have the senior choose which rate they want to pay (whichever is cheaper?)

In my appeal for lower rates, I had slapped the counter. I saw the look of fear then disdain in the girl's eyes. I said, "Oh, you know how crabby old people get!"

Barb and I laughed and walked away - $20 lighter.

 A young man with unruly red hair stood behind the refreshment counter.

"You look like you are just dying to help us!" I kidded.

"I am!"

We told him what we wanted, after changing our order a couple of times. He was very polite. I didn't drop my teeth (if I wore false teeth I guarantee that I WOULD OF, though) when I bought a 20 oz. bottle of water for $4.75! I didn't realize it was that much until he rang it up! I could have easily bought 24-30 BOTTLES for that price.

We had a bag of popcorn, one honking big cup of soda, and a bottle of water. Plus my purse that weighed a ton. I said to him - "It would be so nice if you carried my purse for me!"

And do you know what that young whippersnapper said?

He said, "MA'AM, I COULD GET MY SUPERVISOR AND HE COULD HELP CARRY YOUR THINGS!

I replied, "We may be old, but we're young at heart!" I hope we walked away as jauntily as we could with all our aches and pains. We got about two feet away when the redheaded brat called out,

"Ma'am, you left your cane here!"

I thought Barb and I were going to split a gut. Or wet our pants.

With as much dignity as was possible, I turned around and snatched the cane.

Did I want to beat him over the head with it and teach him not to f*ck with seniors?

You betcha!

Barb and I held our heads up high, she grasping her cane firmly with one hand, the pop in the other, me slinging my one-ton bag over my shoulder, my expensive water in one hand, and expensive popcorn in the other and we made it to the bathroom before we pissed ourselves.

Life is good.

And so was the movie.

I highly recommend it. You will laugh. You will cry.

Of course, I just love Meryl Streep.

And Tommy Lee Jones is a bonus

Steve Carell is great as a serious character.

Here is a snippet of the movie.