Things....Chapter Two

It's time once again for another chapter of "Things you can and can't live without." Read the first installment here.

Things you can't live without:

The Public Toilet Survival Kit

 

Each kit includes one toilet seat cover, two antiseptic wipes and one pair of latex-free disposable gloves which should be enough to keep you safe and sanitary in even the most challenging conditions. The only thing that is missing is toilet paper. Heck, just throw some individual wipes in there and you'd be all set! (The other wipes are to clean the TOILET, not your, er, bottom!)

The Husband Chopping Board

For those PMS days, or the times when you feel like murdering him, but you don't want to go to jail. Just take out some vegetables and chop to your heart's content!

Kai Pure Komachi 2, 8-piece Knife Set

Speaking of knives, get a load of these beauties! Just look at that rainbow of colors! I bought the little red one a long time ago and it is still as sharp today as the day I bought it! And I love me a sharp knife!

Things you can live without:

A Woman Remote Control

(Click to enlarge). Uh, gentleman, I only have TWO WORDS for you.

AS IF.

or

GET REAL.

or

YOU WISH

or

F*CK YOU

Okay, maybe I got carried away on that last one. Sorry. You just go ahead and buy this little remote if you want to. Go ahead and try it at home. But let this be a warning to you: You'd better check your health insurance for coverage on removing said remote from your a$$!

Heart Gelatin Mold

When I say "heart", I literally meant HEART, not "heart-shaped"! Yucko! Who would want to eat this? Unless it's at a Halloween party or for a science project!

Tampon Flash Drive

Seriously? Who would use this? A female spy so that she could keep it openly in her purse with important data on it? (I know, I watch too many movies!)

That's it for today's edition of THINGS YOU CAN AND CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT!

Things..

you can't live without.

Hands free backpack umbrella available here and through www.amazon.com

"Cool fingers" for when you have a small, hot, dish to remove from the oven and oven mitts are just too cumbersome! Find these cuties here.

If you're like me, you have several of those little keycards from grocery stores hanging on your key ring. This little device keeps them neatly together. Available at Amazon.

And things you can live without.


Anthony Weiner "action" figure available here.

Glow-in-the-dark toilet paper. Available (new) at Amazon.

This just seems wrong. What if you leave a scrap or two on your behind, like those Charmin bears?

Will your ass light up under the covers?


Don't give a "Flying F*ck"? Then you might like this. But seriously, how many times could you actually USE this? Available here.

THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.