Monday, September 20, 2010

I'm Living in the Dark Ages

One of the worst household chores I hate to do is defrosting the refrigerator/freezer.

Defrosting. I know. A word from the Dark Ages.

For some ungodly reason, probably there is a scientific one and Jim knows the answer but I refuse to ask him, our trailer's refrigerator has the old-fashioned "fins" in the back and ice builds up quickly on them.

This means that I have to defrost the refrigerator AND freezer about every three months.

I am NOT a happy camper.

Jim's "quick" solution is to turn off the fridge over night and let the ice melt.

It does. The majority of it it, anyway.

And in a perfect world, the ice would melt perfectly, one drop at a time. It would fall perfectly on the small ledge under the fins, and swirl down the tiny pea-sized hole, out a hose to never, never land.

But we all know that the world isn't perfect now, don't we?

So, yeah, the ice melts. AND drips wherever the hell it wants to.

This means that when I go to get out the package of bagels, along comes a bunch of water that's sitting in the crevices of the wrapping.

Or there's water on the top of containers that pours onto my toesies when I reach for one of them.

Or there's standing water in the drawers when I pull them open.

At this point smoke is coming out of my ears, and a few choice words out of my mouth.

I know Jim pushes that button to turn off the fridge just to "push my button" to piss me off enough to defrost the fridge the correct way.

You see, I procrastinate.

I procrastinate for the simple reason that it's a pain in my patootie to defrost the damn thing.

Defrosting means lugging the two coolers in from outside which are stored under our trailer. They need to be banged around a couple of times to get the creepy-crawly things off of them, like earwigs. Then I have to wipe out the coolers before even using them. I put a plastic garbage bag down on the floor before setting the coolers down.

Now I'm ready to start defrosting, and I'm already tired.

I turn off the appliance and pack everything I can fit into the coolers. The rest of the stuff sits on my teeny tiny counter.

I put a small fan on the floor and angle it upwards to help with the defrosting process. Nothing like hearing chunks of ice hitting the metal shelves.

I take out all the drawers and wash them, then wipe down the sides and bottom of the fridge. It always amazes me when I find a stray hair under the drawers. How the heck does it get there?

The fridge goes pretty fast. It's the freezer that looks like a small chunk of Antarctica. This whole process takes me at least two hours. Then I put everything neatly back in the fridge and freezer.

Jim STILL can't find anything.

Even when it's right in front of his face.

He'll open up the refrigerator and ask, "Hon, where's the mayonnaise?"

"Third shelf on the right," I'll reply.

"I can't find it!"

So I sigh, get up, go over to the fridge and point to it - right where I said it would be.

I have a friend who believes that the reason men can't seem to find anything, especially if it's right in front of them, is because they don't have a tracking device - THE UTERUS.

I'm beginning to think this is true.

I did a little test. I bought a package of Reece's Peanut Butter Cups and didn't mention it to Jim.

I put the bag on the shelf behind the broccoli. Half the bag was still visible.

Jim loves chocolate as much as I do.

He never found them. Even though they were in plain sight, so to speak.

So every day I'd enjoy a couple of them....savoring their chocolate-peanutty goodness. Smiling to myself about my little secret.

Cruel? Maybe.

But they were there for the taking. Jim just had to LOOK, you know?

Anyway, I rewarded myself with a few pieces of heaven after cleaning the fridge and downed them with a Diet Dr. Pepper. Nothing goes better with chocolate than a diet pop. Aahh...

Oh, yeah, I DID share the last few with Jim. Not to worry!


Gail said...

Right in plain sight, behind the broccoli! I love it!

Same thing happens here, if it not right on the front, it can't be found.

Brian Miller said...

can i have a piece of heaven...and please dont hide it...smiles. i remember defrosting the fridge with mom...we liked when chunks would loosen and we could throw them...

Anonymous said...

you always make me smile! PLease share the heaven with me...and the diet pop, just frosting on the cake...yummers ;)

misslynda said...

You are too funny with the candy and broccoli. Here is a thought for the refrigerator. It is what we did in the old library with the little dorm refrigerator we had to defrost. Put one or two large bath towels in the bottom of the frig. They will absorb all the drips. Then you can just toss those towels in the washer, dryer, or clothesline.

Ami said...

I HATE defrosting.

But I love peanut butter cups.


Bossy Betty said...

The only thing I like about defrosting is when those big chunks thaw enough to pull off! Excitement!!!

WhisperingWriter said...

I have never defrosted before.

Mmm, Reeses Peanut Butter cups. Yummy. I rarely share them with Tom. He usually just gets his own bag.

Betty Manousos @ CUT AND DRY said...

Please share the heaven with me, too!

I hate defrosting.

Have a great day!

B xx

charmine. said...

That does sound like a lot of work.I don't have a problem defrosting at home,and the water is just wiped off afterwards.
However, my veggies sometimes have frost on them(even when it's not in defrost mode) and so,they have to be rolled in paper first...maybe,I need a new appliance.

Jientje said...

I would hate it too if they turned it off without me knowing! The chocolate sounds like a very sweet way to take revenge! LOL!

Valerie said...

I'm on my knees right now thanking the Good Lord for my self-defrosting fridge-freezer. Either men don't have the brain power to search for stuff or they're dead cute knowing we'll do it for them.

Ruth said...

Strange, but at our house, Don is the finder. I am the one standing with the fridge door open, asking, where is the whatever, and he finds it. He finds everything. It's amazing.

Eva Gallant said...

My husband does the same thing! "I can't find...." Doesn't matter what it is...he can't see it.

becky said...

Too funny. My dad does the same thing to my stepmom... and I think, well, why doesn't he just look?

Mama Zen said...

My husband is the same way. Can't find anything.

Nancy said...

Geeze, I haven't had to defrost a fridge in ages! And it's not something I will ever miss.

I think men can only see what is right in front of them if it's a beer.

Sunny said...

You have my deepest sympathy. We have an old freezer in the garage that needs defrosting at least twice a year and I HATE it!! I always end up with a flood no matter how careful I am!
☼ Sunny

artist60164 said...

omg I just love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "Not a happy camper" haaaaaaa that is the first time I actually heard it and it applied. yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

also you can always wear whipped cream it would be fast and easy and very portable for those fast touch ups.

love Jeanne

Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

I knew sombody who kept her homemade chocolate sauce in a jar labeled "black bean soup"...the teenagers never got into it! At least you were more honest.

I hate that job too.

SquirrelQueen said...

Oh the joy of defrosting an RV fridge! I put a big roasting pan under the top shelf and take my hair dryer to the freezer.

I really got a kick out of the chocolate hidden behind the broccoli. Even if it was in front of the broccoli I'm not sure if my hubby would see it.