Friday's Funnies #17

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car.  She writes:                    

Dear Granddaughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, “For the love of God! Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!”

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.

My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.

So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon,

Love, Grandma

A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed

in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to 

admit you into the Kingdom of Heaven ?"

The guy replies, "I'm Jack, retired airline pilot from Houston."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, "Take this silken robe and 

golden staff and enter the Kingdom."

The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.

Next it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Father Bob, 

Pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff 

and enter the Kingdom."

"Just a minute," says the good father. "That man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe 

and golden staff and I get only cotton and wood.  How can this be?"

"Up here - we go by results, "says Saint Peter. "When you preached - people slept.

When he flew, people prayed. "

LAUGHTER IS AN INSTANT VACATION.

MILTON BERLE

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