Monday, July 29, 2013

Did you know....

Over the next few months I will be sharing with you some Fun Facts that I got from Mental Floss. My thoughts are in red below each fun fact.

FUN FACTS about animals and insects!!

After going into heat, an un-spayed female ferret can actually die if she does not mate. She will remain in heat until she mates, and if she does not, the excess estrogen will cause anemia and eventual death.
Thank GOD this doesn't happen to human females. Quick! I need sex now! It's a matter of LIFE or Death! 

When fruit flies inhale alcohol, the males will start to mate with each other, forming lines.
Similar to Friday night at a gay bar.

Waste from the Ben & Jerry's factory is given to farmers to feed their hogs. The hogs apparently love Cherry Garcia but dislike Mint Oreo.
There's waste from Ben and Jerry's? Where do I stand in line?

Pigs are no longer commonly employed to rustle up truffles; specially-trained dogs (who are equally adept at the job) have now taken their place.
Hell pigs don't care that they've lost their jobs. They're too busy eating Ben & Jerry's ice cream!

Crickets' ears are located on their front legs, a little below their knees.
"I can't hear you", said the old cricket. "Wait, let me uncross my legs. Ah, that's better!"

The hippopotamus is considered to be the most dangerous animal in Africa. Hippos kill more humans annually than lions, crocodiles, or snakes.
They knew what they were talking about when they named that game "Hungry, Hungry Hippos"! Child's game my ass!

Also called the Mexican Hairless Dog, the Xoloitzcuintli breed was used by Aztecs for companionship, and occasionally for lunch. Prized for their body heat (hence the lack of fur), Xolos are still used in Mexico as nature’s hot water bottles.

"Used for companionship and occasionally for lunch"? You're not my friend anymore, so now I'm going to eat you! At least there wouldn't be any hair in the food! KIDDING!!!!

The only mammals that don't have an umbilical scar, or "belly button," are the platypus and echidna. Unlike the rest of us mammalians, these two species lay eggs.
Too bad. I was wondering if a platypus had an "innie" or an "outie". What the hell is an echidna?
long beaked echidna sometimes known as "spiny anteaters"

The flashlight fish projects light that’s created by luminescent bacteria that live in the pockets below its eyes.
Imagine that! They can "see" bacteria! I only see the bags under my eyes!

Because of the angle at which its esophagus enters its stomach, the horse is physically unable to vomit.
Good to know. Because only "Mr. Ed" would be able to tell us that he had a stomachache.

Researchers believe that herring communicate with one another in a way humans would find repulsive: passing gas.
If my husband were a herring he'd have a lot to say.

The male giraffe determines a female's fertility by tasting her urine. If it passes the taste test, the courtship continues.
This would be so funny if it were true for humans. "Drink up, loverboy!"

A group of jellyfish is called a "smack."
So if you swam into a group of them in the ocean, would it be called a "smack-down"?

Fish cough.
And isn't it rude that their little fins aren't long enough to cover their mouth!

The aorta of a blue whale is large enough for a human to crawl through.
See Moby Dick.

The first cow to ride in an airplane was Elm Farm Ollie in 1930. Milk she gave in-flight was sealed in containers and parachuted down over St. Louis.
The first Milk Shake! And WHY was this cow in an airplane? She missed the bus.

The third right arm of a male octopus is more than an arm— it’s his reproductive organ.
Are you happy to see me, or is that just your arm?

The state fish of Hawaii is the humuhumunukunukuapua'a. The Hawaiian name roughly translates to "the fish with a pig-like nose." It's English name is the Reef Triggerfish.
Couldn't they just go with "Pig Nose Fish"?

Chickens with white ear lobes lay white eggs, whereas chickens with red ear lobes lay brown eggs.
Wait. Chickens have ears?

A giraffe has the same number of neck vertebrae as a human (7).
Seriously? If I had a neck as long as a giraffe, I'd be the right weight for my height! Finally!

Pandas are notoriously reluctant to mate in captivity. This has led breeders to create "panda porn"—videos of pandas copulating.

I will never be able to look at a cute, cuddly Panda bear without hearing the swanky 70's porn music playing in my head. "Aaand...ACTION!"

In 1916, an elephant named Mary was executed by hanging in Erwin, Tennessee, for killing its circus trainer. The prosecutors agreed upon hanging after they exhausted the possibilities of firing squad, electrocution, and dismemberment by train engines.
An elephant hanging? Seriously? That had to be mighty strong rope! They couldn't find a gun big enough to kill an elephant?

Elephants are the only mammal physically unable to jump. This is because of their enormous weight.
So THIS is why they don't play "Hopscotch"!

A group of rhinos is called a "crash."
Makes sense. This is the sound they make as they come "crashing" through the jungle.

The longest jellyfish on record measured 160 feet, more than half the length of a football field.
Who cares about Jaws! Imagine running into this sucker in the water?

All dogs are the same species, meaning that (notwithstanding the obvious physical challenge) a Chihuahua and a St. Bernard could procreate.
It wouldn't be easy, and it wouldn't be pretty, but it COULD be done! I witnessed a Chihuahua mating with a German Shepherd. I should have taken a photo of the event, but I was too busy watching with my head tilted to the side saying, "WTF?"


Danica Bridges-Martin said...

Funny stuff!! :)Danica

Mrs A said...

Hilarious! I'm glad to see our two Aussie animals got a look-in! Thankyou for your posts and your humour, we love it here in this house ..I usually read Friday Funnies aloud to my husband....on Friday nights but he will get an extra session tonight. Mrs A

Brian Miller said...

ha. how bad would it be to have flashlight eyes you could not turn off...and wonder if we could genetical get that need to breed into.....see you just inspired mad scientists everywhere...ha...smiles.

Adam said...

hippos have been known to attack humans for no reason. Even to the point where they will even try to hop on the boat with you.

Liz said...

I love Mental Floss.

JoJo said...

Is that true about the elephant? How cruel. :(

Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

You know swanky 70s porn music?