Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Naughty Jokes

I Went To The Pub Last Night (R)

I was talking to a girl in the pub last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there."

I went to the pub last night and saw a fat girl dancing on a table.
I said to her, "Nice legs."
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."
I said "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now. "

I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day
 a woman was born just by feeling their breast.
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.
"Come on, what day was I born"?
I said, " 

This girl looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Blue?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath, taste it."

(Received these in an email. Had a good laugh and wanted to share them with you. I hope I didn't offend any one. Don't want to receive any hate mail. Yes, it may seem sexist. It's just a joke! Laugh a little! :) )


Country Gal said...

Oh thanks for the giggle ! Have a good day !

Gail said...

You naughty girl!!! Funnnny

Brian Miller said...

many tables would have collapsed by now....oh my...envisioning a trip to the hospital after that one....smiles....

Kathy's Klothesline said...

He who tows will be repeating these all day to his cronies! You made his day.

Wendy said...

Hilarious, Pat!
I know exactly who i'm gonna send these to. Thanks!

Fit and Healthy Baby Boomers said...

Love the jokes. I'll share them with my family this Thanksgiving. I'll categorize it under the heading, I'm thankful for... Laughter!