Tuesday, May 24, 2011

A Day at the Grocery Store

It seems that we are forever running to the grocery store to pick up a few items. Of course, I don't ever leave without spending at least $50, because those "few" items seem to grow.

As soon as we get to the store, there usually is a battle of wills as to which of us will push the cart. I've been winning lately because I tell Jim to drop me off at the door while he parks the truck. (My Mama didn't raise a dummy!)

I like to push the cart because:
  1. I have a bad back and it feels good to lean on the cart;
  2. I don't trust Jim to push the cart with my purse in it because I don't think he watches it close enough when he "wanders" off to get an item off the shelf; and
  3. Let's face it - it's a control issue and I want to be in control of at least ONE thing in my life!

So I push the cart around and Jim follows me. Closely. Like THISCLOSE. If I should stop suddenly he runs right into me. This irritates the heck out of me. That's when I send him on little errands. "Oh, Hon, I forgot to pick up sugar. It's in aisle 5. Would you mind getting it?" So what if it's really in aisle 10? It will keep him busy for a little bit and off my back literally and figuratively.

But I found something that will make us BOTH happy. It's called a shopping cart lounger.

Designed by Mike Bouchet, photo by Nathalie Karg

I just need one of these bad boys. Then Jim could push the cart and he would be happy, and I could LOUNGE on the cart and I would be happy. Ta Da! I could just point to the items I wanted and Jim would get them off the shelf for me. I'd never have to worry about leaving my purse alone, because, hey, I'd always be with the cart! Granted, there isn't much room for food and my arms would be full. Maybe some baskets need to be added to the side to accommodate groceries. I think I'm on to something here! 

Do you make a list before you go shopping? It's great if I have a list made up; that means I'm really prepared and have thought about what I'm planning to cook for the next few days. What's bad is when I take the time to make up the list, then leave it on the kitchen table.

Jim will ask, "Where's the list?"

And I have to tell him that I forgot it at home.

Then he'll let out this big sigh.

I know. It's really rough living with me, right?

But at least I can remember SOME of the things on the list. It's when I step into the store cold turkey and start grabbing things off the shelf that I know I'm in trouble.

Am I the only one who feels self-conscious when feeling cucumbers to see if they are fresh and hard? Or is it just my mind in the gutter? I always think that there is a hidden camera somewhere watching me as I feel, poke and sniff the cucumbers. At least I don't moan while I'm selecting one!

When my husband takes the food out of the cart he grabs whatever items and puts them every which way on the conveyer belt. I am much more anal and put all the like items together such as meat, fruit, frozen, can goods, etc. Do I need therapy or what?

Jim ALWAYS reads me the headlines from the trashy magazines on the ends of the aisles. "Oh! Angelina caught Brad with another woman!" he says seriously.

I just laugh. "Like you really believe all this crap?" I ask him.

He'll flip through the magazines and/or newspapers and throw out some more newsy tidbits.

The other day we when we were in the check out line, I told the cashier that we had some Dr. Pepper under our cart. When I emptied the rest of the cart, she rung us up and at the end I said, "Did you get the pop?"

She looked at me like I had two heads.

She didn't answer right away.

I realized that she seemed to be hung up on the word "pop."

"What do you call it? SODA?"

"Yes," she said. She went on to say that the Midwest uses the word "soda".

I beg to differ. Everyone I know from the Midwest says "pop".

But seriously, pop/soda, what's the difference, they are interchangeable, aren't they? It's not like I said to her, "Did you get the URANIUM?"


What do you call "pop"?


Brian Miller said...

i know what pop is...i cant stand the grocery...i usually end up int he fetal position in the corner because i cant find anything..

Anonymous said...

I shop alone....always have always will..its my time to do and get what I want without being bothered....yep Im a control

Snowflake said...

I call it pop....I thought it might be a Canadian thing, but I guess not!!!! I love the shopping cart lounger, where do you find these things? lol

Ami said...

Okay. Maybe making too big a deal here... but these two paragraphs right next to each other.. on one TOP of the other, really, made me raise my eyebrows...

"I always think that there is a hidden camera somewhere watching me as I feel, poke and sniff the cucumbers. At least I don't moan while I'm selecting one!

When my husband takes the food out of the cart he grabs whatever items and puts them every which way on the conveyer belt. I am much more anal and put all the like items together such as meat, fruit, frozen, can goods, etc. Do I need therapy or what?"

I'm thinking *I* need therapy after reading that.

Mama Zen said...

It's all Coke, here. We kind of use it as a generic term for pretty much anything carbonated.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

When we lived in the deep south, it was coke. In MN it was pop, but folks in these parts call it soda .......... some call it sodee water. I do not shop with Drew. He will let me push the cart, but whines constantly, asking if I am done yet. I am very particular about my produce and sniff and feel mine also. I like all my cold food together on the belt and then I like to instruct the check out clerk on how to bag it and usually just do it myself. Perhaps we should shop together?

Missy said...

OMG! We are Identical Twin Grocery Shoppers!
Shopping with my husband is a level of hell!!!

We call every soda Coke...

Lynda said...

In the South, all soda is called Coke even if it's root beer or Sprite. I like to put my items on the checkout belt a certain way, too - - - the heavy items first so they will be on the bottom of the cart after bagged - - and then I do the same way as you with the categories.
Here's what you should do when shopping - - - both of you ask for the motorized carts with the baskets on the front; split the list; then have a race to see who can finish first - - - - or play bumper cars!

SquirrelQueen said...

I hear both 'pop' and 'soda' here, everyone seems to understand either.

I got a kick out of Brian's comment. By the way, you are being watched. There are cameras all over stores these days. Working as a sales rep took me to the upstairs offices of the grocery stores and I've seen the monitor screens.

Hubby is not allowed to go to stores with me, he is relieved that he doesn't have to.

Donna B said...

I call it Diet Pepsi, Diet Coke, Diet Decaf Dr. Pepper...maybe it is because my husband INSISTS (it was part of our wedding vows) on doing our grocery shopping. He makes a list. He likes to put it on the conveyor belt, and HE organizes it according to its category...(so do I) We are both anal...but he takes the prize!

We have the same gutter thoughts...because I also love to fondle the fruit and veggies...when I go by myself of course. My husband would be embarrassed. I always smell the core of cantaloupe and run my hand up and down the cucumbers checking for soft spots. Always inspect and fondle apples and oranges...HE DOESN'T and comes home with bruises and soft spots on the fruit. When I threated to go with him to pick decent fruit, he improves, but then goes back to half hazard selecting...

I like that cart lounger...but I have a bad back too...and I would need a major thick cushion...(despite my padded rear end!) I think the side baskets are an excellent idea!

I seat belt my purse into the kid section of the cart, so if my some remote chance some THIEF would get past my peripheral vision, it would get tangled up enough for my to scream and cause a commotion by throwing cans or fruit or whatever was available at him as he tried to escape!

As always Pat, a wonderful adventure. Just stay away from all those tornadoes in your travels, OK?