Thursday, December 23, 2010

Naughty Christmas Jokes - Part Two

Since you seemed to have enjoyed my other naughty Christmas jokes, here's a few more. Remember, you MUST be 18 or over to read them!

Christmas joke-of-the-day:

Q. What do you get when you eat the Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsel-itus.


WhisperingWriter said...

Thank you for making me smile!

David Allen Waters said...

hahhaaaa that last one made me snort my egg nog through my nose:)

Merry Christmas my friend

Ruth said...

Such cleverness! Love those snow cones . . .


Merry happy Christmas, Pat!

Brian Miller said...

i might have to use that roll me over line...just saying...

Gail said...

Disgusting!!!! Delightful!!!!

Thanks for the smile and, just for the record, I am NOT rolling that Santa over!

BigSis said...

So funny. I'm with Gail - I don't want whatever he's laying on :)

Eva Gallant said...

What fun!

Sunny said...

Dog Christmases cracked me up!
Wishing you a very Merry Christmas :)
☼ Sunny

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Too funny!

Nezzy said...

"Their makin' a baby in the front yard...heeheehehe!!! I can always count on a great laugh here!!!

I got hubs a card with a snowman (woman) with boobs!!!

God bless ya and have a very Merry Christmas sweetie!!!

Ami said...

I'm laughing the most at 'laying on yer present'.


Thanks for making me laugh today.

Bonnie said...

ho-ho-ho :-) Have a very merry ...

Betty Manousos @ CUT AND DRY said...

Hilarious! haha! I can always count on you for a giggle. I'm laughing my head off.
Thanks for sharing.

Happy Christmas!!
Big hugs!
B xx

The Bipolar Diva said...

I LOVE the egg nog one! Merry Christmas!

SquirrelQueen said...

OMG, I love that last one!
Great cartoons Pat, thanks for the laughs.

Have a very Merry Christmas!


Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

LOL! I have on for you, too...

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift.
"How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly.
"Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet." was the shop owner's reply.
The shop owner held a lighted match under the parrot's left foot. Chet began to sing: "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ...." The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's tune changed, and the air was filled with: "Silent Night, Holy Night..."
The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm.
When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed.
"How beautiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?"
"No," the young man replied, "But he can sing. Let me show you."
So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chet crooned: "Jingle Bells! Jingle bells!..." The man then moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came: "Silent Night, Holy night..."
The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold the lighter between his legs?"
The man did not know. "Let's try it," he answered, eager to please his wife. So they held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted his face, cleared his throat, and the little parrot sang out loudly like it was the performance of his life:

"Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...."

Courtney Derrick said...

Hahahahha I do really like that joke from the santa rolling on presents lolz hahahha