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Saturday, August 14, 2010

He said WHAT?

We drove up to Sauk Centre, MN (located in central MN) on Tuesday. It was overcast most of the day, and rained off and on the last two hours of our drive. We stopped for lunch at Perkins and I was surprised to see that it wasn’t crowded. The restaurant was off the main road so maybe this was the case. I thought we’d be able to get in and out fast because of the lack of customers, but this WASN’T the case. I don’t know if our little waitress just took her time putting in our order, you know, maybe like walking around the block about 10 TIMES, before heading off to the kitchen, or what, but how long does a hamburger/fries and a salad with diced chicken take to make? Seriously?

While we were waiting, I heard this man talking. What first caught my attention was that his voice sounded a little like one of my brother-in-laws. So I looked up to pinpoint who was speaking. It was another customer, an older man - maybe late 60’s early 70’s - and he had the kind of voice that carried. He said, “And you know, SEX SELLS.”

Say what?

He was talking to an even older man across the table from him.

I continued talking to Jim, but couldn’t help hearing bits of the old guy’s conversation like, “I have TWO women in the Philippines. But I can only marry ONE of them.”

Ha!

Then I heard, “Virgin. They have to be a virgin! I don’t want them having sex with everyone else!”

Here’s what I’m thinking. I’m thinking he obviously didn’t send a picture of himself to them.

He’s probably thinking that these women are interested in something in his pants.

Yeah, right. His WALLET!

So that made our time go a little faster, tic-toc, waiting for our food. FINALLY it arrived.
It was just okay.

I watched Mr. Sexpot get up and leave the restaurant, with his companion following him, who was this stooped over, old, old man. What gives?

We arrived at this little county campground, which we have stayed at several times, around 4:00 pm. The campground managers are always there on sight.

Well, not this day.

I knocked on their door, rang the doorbell, but nobody was home.

Now, they KNEW we were coming - I made reservations a couple of months ago. They COULD have left a note on the message board stating which site was ours. But that would have been too smart.

So Jim and I sat in the truck, while the skies darkened, threatening to open up at any minute.

A fellow camper came over and talked with us and offered us the manager’s cell phone number. I called and it just went to voice mail. Uh, hello, can we talk inept?

Of course it started to rain.

We were not happy campers.

Finally, 20 minutes later, they showed up. “Who are you?” she asked.

Jim told her.

“Whatsamatter? You forget what site you’re on?”

“NO,” I replied, trying to keep my temper in check, “You never TOLD me the number.”

“Oh I’m sure I did!” She said as she went into her trailer with her groceries.

I just looked at Jim and said, “She NEVER told me because I would have written it down! As a matter of fact, I requested a certain area and she didn’t say anything to me about it!”

But I just got out of the truck and followed her to her trailer to get our site number. Luckily it wasn’t raining too hard, and we got set up right away.

We DO have satellite here, but no WI FI. This means that Jim and I have to share ONE computer. This can only mean trouble. I might have to arm wrestle him for time on the computer. Even though I was the arm wrestling champ of the 6th grade, beating everybody but one guy (JACK INDURANTE!), I’ve lost my umph! I arm wrestled three guys back in Arizona this past March, and my arm took months to heal!

19 comments:

Brian Miller said...

just shaking my head at that guy...
note to self...find a new campground...
i am a little intimidated with all the arm wrestling....smiles.

f8hasit said...

So those old guys were looking for possible Phillipine wives that are virgins? That's too funny....

That overheard converstaion was probably worth the wait for your mediocre food.
:-)

misslynda said...

Crazy - - - - some days are like that - - - so how has the rest of the trip been? When it starts out that way - - how does it end?

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Maybe they weren't looking for wives ....... Maybe this is a new business venture (sex sells, you know the oldest business around will still survive the breakdown of our economy........

Come stay with us, I am in the office and I will let you have any site you want and we have wi-fi. The apples are starting to fall and I am thinking to alter my apple cake recipe to make cupcakes and sell them .......

Steven Anthony said...

I alwyas find perkins slow, good but slow...and the guys looking for virgins....oh my.

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

If you go to Kathy's, stop by and get me. Oh wait... I don't think I'm on your way. Darn. The cupcakes sound good.

Those men probably haven't looked at themselves in a mirror lately. Or they're using one from a carnival that makes them look good. Poor guys...

Usually Perkins food is good so I bet you were disappointed. I love Perkins. We don't have one here so I eat there when I can when I go to KC.

otin said...

You really lead an interesting life. You could be a sitcom!

wenn said...

i would love to view from there.

Gail said...

May have to resort to some old fashioned entertainment!

Mama Zen said...

That guy must have actually answered some of those Viagra emails!

Missy said...

I think that perverted man was my Uncle Ralph... In fact, I am sure it was him. ;)

Ed said...

That's the kind of shit Viagra has caused in the world.

Eva Gallant said...

Yuk! old men looking for virgins!

SquirrelQueen said...

Well at least you had some entertainment while waiting for you meal. It does get really annoying to be in an almost empty cafe and the service is still slow.

Take care of your arm and look for a new campground.

Donna B said...

LOL!!! I LOVE your adventures. Leave it you to turn a boring lunch into something to post about. I can just see you eavesdropping on those dirty ol men! Glad you finally got the site and got settled.

Valerie said...

Don't you just hate it when you lose the signal half way through writing a comment.
Anyway... I'm still giggling. No matter what you thought of the food, the old guy, or the inefficient camp organiser, it all made for an hilarious post for which I am truly grateful.

Bossy Betty said...

Yikes, yikes, and YIKES on the conversation you overheard!

I'm thinking you can take Jim on the computer thing. Your readers are counting on you!

Joann Mannix said...

Was it a full moon?

And those 2 men just gave me the creeps reading about their ultra gross conversation. Sad thing is, so many women will take a creeper if he's an American citizen and will bring her back to the states. Ick.

Nezzy said...

Who needs entertainment when ya'll are surrounded by it. I cracked up just thinkin' of those two old geezers and their chances of findin' virgins. Heeehehehe!

We actually have a man a church who married a Philippine bride years ago. He was a middle age bachelor.

God bless ya and have a marvelous Monday. Thanks for the laughs...