Signs - Have a What? Why Thank you!

Saw this sign at a local American Legion Post. Obviously a word is missing. Or maybe not.

Either you fill in the blank:

Have a:

a) nice

b) crappy

c) wonderful

d)  so-so

Day!

OR

They have the power to bestow an extra day upon the reader's life. You never know! If so, I'm hoping to pass their magic on to all MY readers! Ha ha!

For more signs, please visit Lesley here.

You're doing WHAT in the bathroom?

I know all of my followers and readers come to my blog because of the wealth of knowledge I share with you on a number of eclectic subjects. Like when I wrote about "vodka soaked tampons", or "how to cut a pineapple", or what "burgoo" means; just to name a few.

Today I will not disappoint you. I am so anxious to share this bit of knowledge with you that I can hardly stand it.

Ready?

There's a new book out entitled, "Toilet Yoga". Because sometimes sh*t doesn't happen.

Seriously.

Okay.

So have you picked yourself up off of the floor yet?

Apparently, doing different yoga positions will help get things moving.

Here's a sample from the book.

This move is called "The Slider".

"Push off and let yourself go.(I don't think they literally mean "go" as in, er, poop.)

Proper positioning will encourage free motion through the twists and turns prior to exit." (i.e. sh*tting?)

THE MOVEMENT

"Straighten knees so feet are off the ground, extend arms in front parallel with legs. Hold for count of 10 and release. Repeat."

There is a warning posted on the page: "Slippery when wet. Not advisable after bathing."

Also has three toilets (out of five): Requires some core strength

Okay. So I'm the first to admit that I've never taken a yoga class; I don't know any of the positions. That position shown above doesn't seem too bad, and if sh*t happens, hey, that's great.

The web site only allows viewing of that one page of the book.

So I can only IMAGINE the other yoga positions.

Now this one isn't so bad.

I could sit there with my legs crossed (as if!) and IMAGINE myself pooping!

But this next position could be a LIT-TLE tricky!

You'd have to face the toilet tank. I guess you could always rest your feet on TOP of the toilet tank if you get tired.

Then there's this position.

Oh my gosh, would your head REST on the rim of the toilet seat? Yuck! What if your arms got tired and your head fell in the toilet? Oh, gross!

This next position you'd have to do NEXT to the toilet. If I did this I'd be stuck in this position and I'd have to call Jim into the room to help me. He'd walk in, see my big naked butt in the air and say, "What the HELL are you doing?"

Lastly, if you could do this position on the FLOOR you should be congratulated, let alone on a toilet. And if you can do this position, I am SURE you are not suffering from any constipation problems. Just saying. I mean, is this woman related to Gumby or WHAT?

In conclusion, if you are interested in this book, it is available here.

There are even t-shirts available.

I'm just happy to report that my bathroom is teeny-tiny.

So there will be NO yoga happening in there. Although when I sit on the pot, I DO resemble this photo:

Only I'm not a dog.

And my legs aren't crossed.

And I usually have a magazine on my lap.

Other than that this looks exactly like me.

Just remember - toilet yoga - you heard it here first.

Your welcome.

It's that Time Again!

When I help you out with the do's and don'ts on your Christmas list. So fasten your seat belt and here goes!

I think this item should fall into the "don't even think about it" category. But I could be wrong. It's an over-the-shoulder sling....for your dog! It may be cute on these hot models, but I've got my own weight to schlep around. Plus MY PUPPIES are in a BRA. Ahem. So IF I had a dog, it would be walking on the sidewalk like any decent dog SHOULD. But that's just MY opinion.

This next item just cracked me up. Of course, I am a tea drinker, but still. I thought it was clever. What do you think?

Now here's a gift that I would tend to stay away from....unless it's a gag gift. Or you buy it for yourself. Silverware with dumb-bells on the handles. I bet you'd think twice about shoving food in your mouth! Ha ha!

I think this is a cute item for a dorm or apartment. They are called "Handjob hooks"!

Now this item would be in bad taste, although it WOULD be funny. It's called "Dysfunctional Family Bingo" and includes categories like: staged family photo, hormonal imbalance, self medicating, door slamming, inedible family recipe, weight crack, political debate, and many, many, more.

For the Scrabble lovers, or Words with Friends freaks, these coasters are ideal.

Some crazy stocking stuffers:

Who WOULDN'T want a bottle opener always on hand - LITERALLY?

For that kid you just don't know what to buy!

Aren't these adorable?

Now who couldn't use these in a pinch? Says that they are "unisex" and can fit a child or small adult!

And finally, who wouldn't want to wear this pin?

At first glance I thought it said, "Just say Ho 3 times". Then I noticed that the 3 stood for 3 INCHES.Oh. Maybe I DON'T want to wear this! Never mind!

Have I made your shopping any easier? You can thank me later!

Thursday's Things in a Row

Wow. Hard to believe it's December 1st already! I had to bump my turkey header and search through my photos for a winter scene. Because even though it was a high of 77 yesterday in Arizona, many of you are experiencing cold weather and that white stuff called "snow"!

These weekly "things in a row" posts are coming up faster than I can keep up! The other day Jim and I had stopped at the local mall and I walked past the double-decker carousel. I instantly thought, "Aha! Things in a Row!" Luckily I had my small point and shoot camera in my purse, so I whipped that baby out.

I know you can't see the third animal in that shot, but I wanted you to see how magnificent that tiger looked. Let's see - the things in a row in that shot are his stripes!

The 45,000-pound Victorian carousel cost more than $500,000, stands 26 feet high, and is 36 feet in diameter. It seats 40 and has 24 animals, a spinning teapot and a chariot on the ground level. The upper level has eight animals and two chariots. Riders can choose from a sea dragon, rabbit, eagle, Bengal tiger,  triceratops, giraffe, deer, ostrich, elephant, white tiger, or a gorilla.

I love the reflection in these mirrors that ran completely around the top of the carousel.

The battery in my camera died before I was able to take a photo of the complete carousel, so this photo is from the internet:

What kind of things did you find this week?

Signs - Life in a Small Town

I saw this sign behind the register while paying for my breakfast at a little diner in a small town. I think it speaks the truth!

For more signs, visit Lesley here.

Help Me Out Here

Last week at our Thanksgiving party, the band was playing all kinds of songs. I requested, "Lake Shore Drive" or "LSD" by Aliotta, Hanes, and Jeremiah. My Canadian friends had never heard of this song. Because I grew up in the Chicagoland area, I'm wondering if this was just a hit in my area. The song is about Lake Shore Drive, the famous road that runs along Lake Michigan in downtown Chicago. Here's a clip from YouTube. I'm curious to see how many people recognize this song.




What say you? Have you heard this song before?

Sunday Bridges - Magnolia Gardens

It was an overcast day when we visited Magnolia Plantation and Gardens in Charleston, South Carolina, but it didn't deter from the beauty of the place. This red bridge really stands out among all the greenery of the area. The heavy Spanish moss hanging from the trees; the lily pads in the water.

For more bridges, visit Louis here.

Thanksgiving in Arizona

We celebrated Thanksgiving with 47 people! There was good food, good friends, good music, and so-so weather. It was overcast most of the day, a few sprinkles here and there, but NOTHING could put a damper on our spirits!

Our hosts, Sandy and Carol, ordered tables and chairs from the park's party wagon. The street was blocked off, and the tables were set up in the street. Everyone contributed a dish to pass, brought their own dishes, cutlery and drinks. Throw in some live music, and PRESTO! We have a PARTY!

We were entertained by:

Van

Doug

Henry came up and sang and Roman added his guitar.

Henry and his wife, Diane, sang an adorable duet.

I warmed up the crowd with a Thanksgiving joke. They were polite enough to laugh.

We have some crazy people in the park! Here are Lou and Jim, our kazoo aficionados.

I don't know why Jim has three kazoos in his mouth at one time; either he's extraordinarily talented or full of a LOT of hot air! Ha ha!

It sprinkled on us a couple of times, and no one was more prepared than Lou, the man of many hats.

Meanwhile, I arm wrestled David at our table. I don't recall what the bet was about, but I DID lose, darn it!

Not all my friends are here yet in Arizona. But here's the majority of the clan:

Table # 1 (l to r): Ken, Pat, Judy, Bob, Steve, Thelma

Table #2 (l to r):  Pat, Ellen, David, Doug, Lenore, me, Jim, Bob.

A neighbor said a blessing before our meal.

Although it looks like the man next to me is toasting my ta-ta's, he in fact is SECONDING MY TOAST to our lovely hosts Sandy and Carol.

The meal:

Buns, Chinese salad, cole slaw

Candied apples, cranberry sauce, fruit salad, cranberry jello mold, Watergate salad, corn, carrots, green bean casserole, stuffing

Sandy quickly removed the lids from the hot foods while the hungry mob waits anxiously!

There are FIVE, count 'em, 5, turkeys sliced up in the warmer, next to three crock pots full of mashed potatoes, two large pots of gravy and one large container of sweet potatoes.

Does this resemble a soup kitchen?

Everyone "gobbled" up their food, and then....bing, bang, boom, some of the tables were taken down to make room for dancing!

I had to laugh when I saw some of the women who couldn't resist dancing when they heard the music, even though they were in the middle of folding up the tablecloths!

I'm a sucker for a slow dance!

Dance, dance, dance

Rain dance?

Our hosts - Sandy (l) and Carol (r) doing the polka

Line dancing

Crowd participation

"Reaching out, touching me, touching yoooouuu! Sweet Caroline! Ba ba ba!"

I love this next photo - I have to thank my husband for capturing it. It's a prime example of the fun that I have here in Arizona with my friends - we laugh A LOT here - and as you may see - there are many bottles of wine  on the table - and yeah - that helps. But this is a great group of friends and I am thankful for them - thanks for making my holiday wonderful. You are my family away from home.

Towards the end of the day, blue skies!

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday!