Did I tell you about the pool incident?
No?
About a month ago I had purchased a new bathing suit and was anxious to wear it to the pool. Not to show off my figure, mind you, but to finally be in a NEW bathing suit compared to the old rag I had be wearing for months.
It got pretty hot just lying in the sun, so I decided to go in for a dip in the pool. I grabbed my "noodle" (a flotation device) and walked into the pool.
I felt a pulling in my crotch.
I ignored it at first.
It hurt more than just a suit-up-the-butt-pain. The was a definite tug on my hair.
WTF?
I quick reached my hand INTO my bathing suit and pulled out the PANTY LINER that I forgot to remove after buying the suit! I could have discreetly thrown it away, but no, not me. I held it up in the air and said, "So THAT'S what's hurting my crotch! I forgot to remove the panty liner!"
Luckily there were only women around me in the pool and we all had a good laugh!
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When I was home for the holidays, I met up with a friend of mine for dinner. We went to a local Mexican restaurant. While we were there, I saw this young man sitting at the next table who looked an awful lot like my son's friend Ryan.
My eyes kept straying to him throughout the evening. He was sitting with a young woman who I assumed was his wife, 3 young girls, and possibly his parents.
I mentioned to my friend that I thought this guy was my son's friend, Ryan Day.
"That could very well be," she said, "because I heard that lady call him 'Ryan'."
Aha! Granted he looked just a smidge different from what I remembered, but it had been at LEAST 6-7 years since I had last seen him.
Finally Ryan got up to leave and I said to my friend, "I've just GOT to say something to him."
Ryan passed my table and I called out, "Ryan Day?"
"Yes?" He said.
"How ARE you?"
"Fine," he answered, a little hesitantly.
"I'm Pat ________, Jason's Mom?"
"Oh!"He said.
We hugged each other, and I asked how his kids were doing.
"Fine," he replied.
"Are these your little girls?"
"No, that's my sister and those are her kids."
"Oh. Well do you have pictures of your kids?"
"Yeah, yeah I do," he said, scrambling for his wallet. He pulled out a picture and said, "Here's my son, Garrett."
Now it was MY turn to be puzzled. "Don't you have a daughter named Brooklyn?"
"No."
"Well, who has a daughter named Brooklyn?" I KNOW one of my son's friends named their daughter Brooklyn, who was born around the time my great niece of the same name was born.
"I have no idea."
"Wait a minute," I said, the light bulb finally going on. "Who ARE you? Are you Ryan DAY?"
"No, I'm Ryan PETERSON!"
WTF! He must not of heard me say "DAY".
So bottom line - neither of us knew each other. We had a good laugh, I apologized profusely, he said it was fine, and we went our separate ways.
Ooopsie, my bad.
Can you say "AWKWARD"?
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Anything you care to admit to make me feel better?
At least your embarrassing moments are funny, mine would be just the opposite.
ReplyDeleteteehee...really you need a camera crew...smiles.
ReplyDeleteBoth of those are pretty funny!
ReplyDeleteyou need a reality show, it wouild be a hit:) lol
ReplyDeleteI have done that "trick" of thinking I knew someone more often than I care to admit - - - and usually talk to them, too! Now though, more people remember me than I them so they will come up and start talking. All the time I am thinking, "Soon they will say something that reminds me who they are!"
ReplyDeleteHow in the heck do you get yourself into such situations? Your blogs are so funny! My life is so dull :)
ReplyDeleteI always get such a laugh out of your blogs and we need a laugh in these trying times. Thanks for being you, funny, and able to put it into words.
ReplyDeleteKeep writing this stuff. Blessings, Barb
I did something very similar to your second story. I think you've inspired a blog post for me. Now you'll have to wait to hear my story!
ReplyDeleteThat is so funny on both occasions. I agree with Valerie, at least they were funny and embarrassing. Where as mine would have been just embarrassing.
ReplyDeleteAnd *that's* why we love you Pat!
ReplyDelete=-)
I don't have any embarrassing things in my life.
ReplyDeleteYou're the only one.
You're soooo lame!!!
Does that make you feel better?
;)
Actually, I once worked in a chocolate factory. And one day, I did not have clean pants, I had to wear the ones from the day before (this was in my laundromat days). And as I walked into work, my underwear from the day before fell out of my pant leg. In front of people.
When ARE you going to write your book?
ReplyDeleteSeriously. So many laugh out loud stories!
I just LOVE YOU Pat!!
ReplyDeleteI meet a lot of people by mistake, too. I chatted on the phone for a long time with someone when I was trying to call my son ........ change just one digit and the number is wrong!
ReplyDeleteI haven't thought of this story in a long time ...... Back in the late 70's we lived two blocks from the beach on Jekyll Island in Georgia. My kids were all small and I made friends with a gal across the street. Every day we would load the kids into a wagon and drag them down to the beach when the tide was out. I have been sewing since I was 14, so I decided to make myself a bikini (I was a lot smaller back then) I purchased the fabric and discovered that I had enough for two. I made matching ones for me and my friend, Susan. The bottom was just like any other bikini bottom, although it covered a lot more than the suits of today. The top was really interesting. It was a tube, sort of, with casings to hold the string that went through each side, then tied behind you on your back and again around he neck. To put it on, one was to twist it, creating seperate "cups", then tie it accordingly. It looked cute on and we decided to make our debut on a Saturday on the beach with our kids and husbands. Jekyll Island is a popular resrt that is crowded on weekends and we loaded our wagon with kids and our husbands with tubes and toys and picnic baskets.
We set up our blanket and toys and stuff to lay claim to our area while the guys watched the kids. Then it was our turn to get in the water with the children. I went in with the older ones while Susan watched over the toddlers. I came out of a wave and started back to our blanket only to see my friend collapsing in laughter and pointing at me. She was laughing so hard she could not speak and when I asked her what she found so funny, it just made her a lot worse. I finally looked down to see that one breast was neatly housed within the confines of the suit while the other one was out there for all the world to see ......... I have never attempted another suit again.
Are we sisters or something?
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ReplyDelete