Friday's Funnies #9

Some things Man was never meant to know. 
For everything else, there's Google.

Anonymous 

Signs - Ouch!

I have to admit, I was a little nervous taking this picture. I was standing across the street at twilight in a town unfamiliar to me. We were traveling in our RV. After I snapped the photo the biker dude standing in the doorway looked up at me. My heart flipped-flopped. I was afraid he'd drag be back and force me to get a tattoo. **Note** I am not saying there is anything wrong with tattoos or bikers!!!  Jim was waiting in the car down the street and I guess I was a little frightened being alone in the evening.

For more fun signs, visit Lesley here!

Signs - Are You Hungry?

This is a chain restaurant that serves both Chinese and Thai food and is located in various locations of Chicago, Minnesota and Washington, D.C. I've only been to one location and it was to celebrate the Chinese New Year with friends. We were all happy with our four different dishes, and washed it down easily with blood orange margaritas! (Also new to my palate!) Yum! This restaurant specializes in using fresh, organic ingredients. Check out their website here.


For more signs, visit Lesley here.

Croagh Patrick and Soda Bread

In honor of St. Patrick's day, I thought I'd share some photos with you that I took of when we visited Ireland back in the year 2000. This is Croagh Patrick, supposedly where St. Patrick drove away all the snakes. According to Wikipedia,

"Croagh Patrick comes from the Irish Cruach Phadraig meaning (Saint) Patrick's stack. It is known locally as "The Reek", a Hiberno-English word for "rick" or "stack". Croagh Patrick has been a site of pilgrimage, especially at the summer solstice, since before the arrival of Celtic Christianity. St. Patrick reputedly fasted on the summit of Croagh Patrick for forty days in the fifth century and built a church there. Popular legend says that at the end of Patrick's forty-day fast, he threw a silver bell down the side of the hill, knocking the she-demon Corra from the sky, and banishing all the snakes from Ireland.......In modern times, a small chapel was built at the top of the summit  and dedicated in 1905."

This is a sign at the bottom of the summit regarding the pilgrimage.

Information on Croagh Patrick.

A drawing of the church on top of Croagh Patrick.

We arrived there about 3:30 pm. There was a small gift shop that we visited. We only came across the people who worked in the shop. Then we stood outside and read the signs for the pilgrimage. We only walked a few steps up the pathway, but since I had knee surgery just 6 months prior to our trip, I wasn't going to even attempt to make the trek. I was surprised when an elderly couple passed us by and started up the hill. Although it was only about 4:00 pm, it was starting to get dark and it looked like rain. They wouldn't get back down till 7:30 and that is if they walked at a steady pace AND didn't take time out to pray once they reached the top!

I don't remember if someone told us, or if we read this, but twice a year, (maybe on the solstice?), the setting sun is perfectly positioned in the sky to look as if it is a ball of fire rolling down the Croagh Patrick. That certainly would have been a sight to see!

And finally, here is the perfect recipe for Irish Soda Bread, given to my sister (and now to you) from a true Irishwoman.

Irish Soda Bread

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

This makes 2 loaves (9x5 loaf pan)

Grease pans with butter for a better crust (This is in addition to the butter that is called for in the recipe)

NOTE: For moister bread, pour boiling water over raisins in a separate bowl, let sit for a few minutes until raisins plump up. Drain well, then add to batter.

INGREDIENTS:

6 cups flour (DO NOT SIFT)

2 cups raisins (SEE NOTE ABOVE)

2 cups sugar

6 teaspoons baking powder

2 teaspoons baking soda

4 eggs

32 ounce sour cream

2 Tablespoons butter

Put all dry ingredients in a large bowl. Add wet ingredients and raisins and blend well. Pour into greased loaf pans. Bake for at least 60 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.

Make a pot of tea, get some butter, and enjoy!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

Friday's Funnies #8

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, “I almost had an affair with another woman.”

The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?”

The Irishman said, “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.”

The priest said, “Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.”

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, “I saw that! You didn't put any money in the poor box!”

The Irishman replied, “Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according

to you, that's the same as putting it in!”

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."

The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."

The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made passionate love to me seven times."

The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice."

The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?'"

The priest said, "No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face."

A woman was having a passionate affair with an Irish inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

"Quick," said the woman to the lover, "into the closet!" and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet.

"Who are you?"  he asked him.

"I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone," said the exterminator.

"What are you doing in there?" the husband asked.

"I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths," the man replied.

"And where are your clothes?" asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said, "Those little bastards!"

And keep a sense of humor. It doesn't mean you have to tell jokes. If you can't think of anything else, when you're my age, take off your clothes and walk in front of a mirror. I guarantee you'll get a laugh.

Art Linkletter

Signs - Two Stories of Fun

A nearby store for the kiddies. Silly me - I thought I could bring my granddaughter here and just walk in and browse! A-ha-ha-ha! Afraid not! Tickets at the door will send you back $21.00; if you buy on-line you will save $5.25 each. Click here to see what is all inside.

Here's the side view of "Le-La" the giraffe. To give you an estimate of how tall she is, what is the average size of sliding entrance doors? 6.5 feet? 7 feet?

For more fun signs, please visit Lesley here.

A Great Movie!!

I've mentioned on my blog before that I am a fan of the movies.....all kinds of movies. Although I don't get to the theater too often, I DO love the whole experience of sitting in a large room and watching a movie on a large screen in the dark. I don't mind watching movies at home, either.

I'm happy if the movie entertains me for a couple of hours. I'm REAL happy if I begin to really care about the characters AND think about the movie after I have seen it.

"The Perks of Being a Wallflower" is one such movie.

I don't remember seeing much hoopla on this movie. Not a lot of well-known actors in it, well, except for Emma Watson, a.k.a. "Hermione Granger" from the Harry Potter movies. The actor on the left, Ezra Miller, also starred in "There's Something About Kevin", a dark and terrifying movie about violence at a high school. I was glad to see him play a much better character.

The main character is the young man on the right, "Charlie", played by Logan Lerman. There is something about this kid that makes him endearing from the opening scene. It's his first day of high school freshmen year. Yuk. Remember that? And he has no friends. Double yuk. Your heart just breaks as you watch him struggle through the first few weeks of school, enduring the random meanness of the other students, his wanting to fit in, ANYWHERE, to be accepted by ANYONE. I can't quite believe that no one want to be his friend because he seems like such a likable kid. His English teacher, played by Paul Rudd, strikes up a friendship with him, one that leads you to believe will shape Charlie into an even finer young man and hopefully a writer.

A couple of senior students finally befriend Charlie, who aren't part of the "in" crowd, but are comfortable in their own skin and having their own group of friends. The movie continues on with the escapades of this group, things a normal high schooler would get involved in, and some not, like the involvement with the local theater and the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

But Charlie has some dark secrets that eventually come out. Some are shocking. The seniors move on to college and Charlie has to cope without them.

This movie is based on a Young Adult novel by the same name. The author, Stephen Chobsky, wrote the screenplay and directed the movie.

Watch a short clip on the movie.

Friday's Funnies #7

John went to visit his 90 year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan.

After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, “Are these plates clean?'“

His grandfather replied, “They're as clean as cold water can get 'em.  Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!'“

For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, “Are you sure these plates are clean?'“

Without looking up the old man said, “I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!'“

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.

John yelled and said,  “Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car.”

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted, “Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me!”

Meet Coldwater!

I got an extra laugh out of this joke because my husband forwarded it to me. He usually washes our supper dishes, and I usually complain that the water isn't hot enough! 

The old man was sitting on his porch, when a young man walked up with a pad and pencil in his hand.

"What are you selling, young man," he asked.

"I'm not selling anything, sir." the young man replied. "I'm the Census Taker."

"A what?" the man asked.

"A Census Taker. We are trying to find out how many people are in the United States."

"Well," the man answered. "You're wasting your time with me, I have no idea."

I went fishing this morning, but after a short time I ran out of worms.  Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in its mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in its mouth, I grabbed it right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniel's and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. Its eyes rolled back, and it went limp. I released the snake into the lake without incident and carried on fishing, using the frog.

Not long after, I felt a nudge on my foot. It was that darn snake...with two more frogs.

Life is good in the South.

When people are laughing, they generally aren't killing each other.

Alan Alda

Signs - Closed for the Season

I got a kick out of this sign that was posted on the door of a local Dairy Queen Ice Cream Shop.

To see more signs, please visit Lesley here.

Today's Reason to Celebrate

Need a reason to celebrate? Today is National Pound Cake Day!

Yippee!

Who doesn't love a moist, buttery pound cake to sink your teeth into?

One of the best recipes I have found is from Paula Deen, from the Food Network.


Mama's Pound Cake

photo courtesy food network

Ingredients
1/2 pound (2 sticks) butter, plus more for pan
1/2 cup vegetable shortening (CRISCO works great)
3 cups sugar
5 eggs
3 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for pan
1/2 teaspoon fine salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

With a mixer, cream butter and shortening together. Add sugar, a little at a time. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating after each addition. Stir dry ingredients together in a bowl and add to mixer alternately with milk, starting with the flour and ending with the flour. Mix in vanilla. Pour into a greased and floured tube pan and bake for 1 to 1 1/2 hours, until a toothpick inserted in the center of the cake comes out clean.

The Midwest is in for another snowstorm tomorrow. I might just have to stay in and bake!

Friday's Funnies #6

Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry", said the first one.

 

"Me too," said the second. "Let's fly down and find some lunch." 

They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of worms. 

They ate and ate and ate and ate 'til they could eat no more. "I'm so full I don't think I can fly back up to the tree", said the first one.

 

"Me either. Let's just lay here and bask in the warm sun," said the second. 

"O.K." said the first. They plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner than they had fallen asleep, a big fat tom cat snuck up and gobbled them up. As he sat washing his face after his meal, he thought, "I love baskin' robins."

Ole and Sven were drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Minneapolis. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.

Ole said, “I vish ve had somethin ta drink!”

Sven says, “Me too. Y’know, I hear you can drink dat yet fuel and get a buzz. Ya vanna try it?”

So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed.

Next morning Ole woke up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!

The phone rang. It was Sven who asks “How iss you feelin dis mornin?”

Ole says, “I feel great. How bout you?”

Sven says, “I feel great, too. Ya don’t have no hangover?”

Ole says, “No dat yet fuel iss great stuff — no hangover, nothin. Ve oughta do dis more often.”

Sven agreed.”Yeah, vell, but dere’s yust vun ting.”

Ole asked, “Vat’s dat?”

Sven questioned, “Haff you farted yet?”

Ole stopped to think. “No ”

“Vell, DON’T, ’cause I’m in Iowa!”

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.

Victor Hugo