Merry Christmas!

I just want to take this opportunity to thank all of you

for following my blog. I have been blogging since 2005; 3 years on 

another site and 5 1/2 years on this site. I started the blog mainly as a

diary and for my friends and family to keep track of our doings and 

whereabouts when we decided to hit the road in our RV. We got off the

road in April 2012. I have decided to step away from blogging for awhile, if not

permanently. I have many ideas in my head for books, and, in fact, have started

a few of them! I am hoping to spend more time this new year on writing. I

might check in from time-to-time on your blogs; may not comment, but just to

see how you all are doing. I've made some good friends over the years through

blogging, and I know that we will stay in touch.

Have a WONDERFUL Christmas and a HAPPY and HEALTHY

New Year!

Love, Pat

Friday's Funnies #41

I once bought my kids a set of batteries

 for Christmas with a note on it saying, 

"Toys not included."

BERNARD MANNING

Signs - All I want for Christmas....

For more fun signs, visit Lesley here.

Friday's Funnies #40

A new priest, born and raised in Texas, comes to serve in a city parish and is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions.

The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand and try saying things like 'yes, I see,' and 'yes, go on,' and 'I understand.'“

The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest.

The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying, "No shit, what happened next?"






Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking...

Two great white sharks swimming in the
ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.
"Follow me son" the father shark said to the son
shark and they swam to the mass of people.

"First we swim around them a few times
with just the tip of our fins showing."
And they did.

"Well done, son! Now we swim around them
a few times with all of our fins showing."
And they did.

"Now we eat everybody."
And they did.

When they were both gorged, the
son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just
eat them all at first? Why did we
swim around and around them?"

His Wise Father Replied, "Because They Taste
Better If You Scare The Shit Out Of Them First!"

Little Bobby and a little girl attended the same school and became  friends .  Every day they  would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that  they both brought turkey sandwiches every day!  This went on all through the fourth and fifth  grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a  turkey sandwich. 

Bobby said, “Hey, how come you're not  eating turkey, don't you like it anymore?“

She said , “I love it but I have to stop eating it.“

“Why?”  Bobby asked. 

She pointed to her lap and said, “Cause I'm starting  to grow little feathers down there!”

“Let me see,“ Bobby  said .  

“Okay”, and  she showed him. Little Bobby looked and said, “That's right. You are! Better not  eat any more turkey.”

Little Bobby kept eating his turkey  sandwiches until one day he brought a peanut butter sandwich  instead. Bobby said to the little girl,  “I have to stop  eating turkey sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down  there too!'“

She asked if she could look, so he showed  her !

She  said ,  “Oh,  my God, it's too late for you ! 

You've  already got the NECK and Giblets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “

                                                           

Christmas, here again. Let us raise a

loving cup: Peace on earth, goodwill

to men, and make them do

the washing up.

WENDY COPE

Signs - Words to Live By!

Visit Lesley here to view more signs!

Friday's Funnies #39

Laughter can help relieve tension in even

the heaviest of matters.

ALLEN KLEIN

Signs - Love on the Run

You see the strangest/funniest signs while on the road! Here's a good one!

I don't know what's funnier....."Condoms to Go" or the "Hostile Pipes" sign underneath it!

For more signs, visit Lesley here.

Friday's Funnies #38

Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this!    
Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?

Here's what happened to Kevin:

Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Kevin said:  “Shingles.” So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had....
Kevin said, “Shingles.“ So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said,  “Shingles.“ So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he had.

Kevin said, “Shingles.“ The doctor asked, “Where?”

Kevin said, “Outside on the truck.”

“Where do you want me to unload 'em??”

Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, “You died in your sleep, Ed.”

Ed was stunned. “I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!"

St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken."

Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground..

A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?"

"Not bad," replied Ed the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!"

"You're ovulating," explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?"

"Never," said Ed.

"Well, just relax and let it happen," says the rooster. "It's no big deal."

He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming..

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard.....

"Ed, wake up! You shit the bed!"

Getting OLD just ain't what they said it would be!

All you need in the world is love and laughter. That's all anybody needs. To have love in one hand and laughter in the other.

AUGUST WILSON

Happy Thanksgiving!

Have a wonderful holiday!

Signs - Nuts!

Thanks to Lesley for sponsoring Signs, Signs. Click here to view more!

Security Overload?

Jim and I just returned from a weekend trip to Florida for our niece's wedding. The wedding  was wonderful, the bride - beautiful, the groom - handsome. The trip? Not too spectacular.

We always try to arrive at the airport at LEAST 2 hours prior to our departure time. You never know how long it will take to go through security.

I understand the need for the security and, on the whole, I think TSA is doing a great job. But there are times when common sense and discretion should take precedence. When we were standing in line waiting to go through the body scan machine, I notice three people who were in wheel chairs. One was an older Asian woman sitting bent over in the chair. Someone came over to help her remove her jacket. I saw two things protruding out of her sweater in the back and at first thought maybe they were her shoulder bones (wings). I didn't think anymore of it. I glanced back again and just saw three empty wheel chairs which the TSA agent had to "pat" down before sending through the metal detector. I'm not sure about how the three people got to the other side (either through the regular metal detector or the body scan). I just saw the Asian woman standing there and the TSA agent said to her, "Are you wearing a brace?" The woman quietly said, "Yes." The next thing I knew, the agent lifted the woman's shirt and took off her brace. The TSA agent threw it about 8 feet across the room to another agent and said, "Scan this."

Okay. There are ways to doing this. First off, couldn't she have brought the woman to a closed off room to remove the brace? Did she have to throw the brace across the room?

The woman didn't say a word.

The TSA agent told her to go to the body scan. The old woman slowly walked to the machine, held up her arms, then walked back to the agent. The agent said, "Go back in there!" So the woman did it again.

All the while the woman didn't complain; in fact she didn't say a word. She did it with dignity, if one could possibly go through an airport scanner like that.

I was so tempted to say something, either to her, like to put my arm around her and say, "I'm sorry you had to endure that," or to the TSA agent, "Was that really necessary?"

But then decided to just keep my mouth shut. First off I didn't want to scare the old woman, and secondly, who knows if I would have been punished in some way by that TSA agent?

Good thing I didn't say anything. I could have gotten arrested. Read this link!

More about our trip later.

Friday's Funnies #37

You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving

when you have to let your bathrobe out.

JAY LENO