Listen. I keep a pretty clean house. With just Jim and me living here, it's fairly easy.
But somehow the bugs keep getting in.
And I'M the one who keeps finding them.
Me - who gets butterflies in my stomach just thinking about a spider, or earwig or such. And the fact that I have to actually crush them in a napkin and feel the crunch of their body between my fingers?
You may ask, "Why not have Jim kill the bugs?"
Most of the time, Jim is in his "MAN CAVE" (second bedroom), with the TV blasting so loud that he couldn't hear if a fire truck crashed into our building with it's siren screaming, let alone me yelling, "BUG! BUG!"
And you know by the time I went to get Jim, the darn bug would have moved.
And that would not be good.
No good at all.
Because it would haunt me for the rest of the day.
Where is that bug?
I'd feel it crawling on my arms.
Or my scalp.
I'd crawl in bed at night and think it would get me during my sleep.
I need help.
So you see, I have no choice.
I must be the KILLER OF BUGS.
Unfortunately I've been wearing this title just about every day.
It doesn't matter that we haven't had rain. One woman in our building takes care of the front lawn. She waters it constantly and at all hours of the night. I can't tell you how many times I have been awakened by the "squeak, squeak, squeak" of the water being turned off - at 2:00 am! The outside water spigot is right by our bedroom window. Anyway, I believe with all this watering that she is driving the insects inside - right inside my bedroom! Almost every night I'd look along the baseboards and sure enough, I'd find an earwig.
These are one of the ugliest bugs! Just looking at this photo gives me the heebe-jeebies! I know they don't bite, but they are scary looking.
Earwigs like dampness. I've found one in my shower. How could it even get it there?
My cousin told us this story of how he got up one morning, washed his face, and started brushing his teeth. He felt something in his mouth, and pulled out an earwig! He said, "Now I don't think the earwig crawled in my mouth when I was sleeping!"
I cringe when I think of his story.
Last night I was getting ready for bed. Washed my face. Got my toothpaste out. Set it on the sink. When I lifted it up, an earwig crawled away! I screamed!
Seriously? Thank GOD it didn't crawl to my toothbrush and get into my mouth.
The other night I was sitting in my living room with my head leaned back on my chair. I was talking to my daughter on the phone while gazing at the ceiling fan. I noticed a spot on the ceiling while the blades were going around. One part of my brain was listening to my daughter, while the other part was trying to determine if that was a bug up there. All of a sudden that spot began to move. I zeroed in on it, still keeping up the conversation, when all of a sudden the bug was gone!
I yelled, "Oh no!"
The bug must have lost it's grip on the ceiling, fell on a blade of the fan, and got whipped around the room. At least that's what I hoped happened. Otherwise it's crawling somewhere close to me.
And that can't be good.