Tuesday, July 17, 2012


Listen. I keep a pretty clean house. With just Jim and me living here, it's fairly easy.

But somehow the bugs keep getting in.

And I'M the one who keeps finding them.

Why me?

Me - who gets butterflies in my stomach just thinking about a spider, or earwig or such. And the fact that I have to actually crush them in a napkin and feel the crunch of their body between my fingers?


You may ask, "Why not have Jim kill the bugs?"

Good question.

Most of the time, Jim is in his "MAN CAVE" (second bedroom), with the TV blasting so loud that he couldn't hear if a fire truck crashed into our building with it's siren screaming, let alone me yelling, "BUG! BUG!"

And you know by the time I went to get Jim, the darn bug would have moved.

And that would not be good.

No good at all.

Because it would haunt me for the rest of the day.

Where is that bug?

I'd feel it crawling on my arms.

Or my scalp.

I'd crawl in bed at night and think it would get me during my sleep.

I know.

I need help.

So you see, I have no choice.

I must be the KILLER OF BUGS.

Unfortunately I've been wearing this title just about every day.

It doesn't matter that we haven't had rain. One woman in our building takes care of the front lawn. She waters it constantly and at all hours of the night. I can't tell you how many times I have been awakened by the "squeak, squeak, squeak" of the water being turned off - at 2:00 am! The outside water spigot is right by our bedroom window. Anyway, I believe with all this watering that she is driving the insects inside - right inside my bedroom! Almost every night I'd look along the baseboards and sure enough, I'd find an earwig.

These are one of the ugliest bugs! Just looking at this photo gives me the heebe-jeebies! I know they don't bite, but they are scary looking.

Earwigs like dampness. I've found one in my shower. How could it even get it there?

My cousin told us this story of how he got up one morning, washed his face, and started brushing his teeth. He felt something in his mouth, and pulled out an earwig! He said, "Now I don't think the earwig crawled in my mouth when I was sleeping!"

I cringe when I think of his story.

Last night I was getting ready for bed. Washed my face. Got my toothpaste out. Set it on the sink. When I lifted it up, an earwig crawled away! I screamed!

Seriously? Thank GOD it didn't crawl to my toothbrush and get into my mouth.

The other night I was sitting in my living room with my head leaned back on my chair. I was talking to my daughter on the phone while gazing at the ceiling fan. I noticed a spot on the ceiling while the blades were going around. One part of my brain was listening to my daughter, while the other part was trying to determine if that was a bug up there. All of a sudden that spot began to move. I zeroed in on it, still keeping up the conversation, when all of a sudden the bug was gone!

I yelled, "Oh no!"

The bug must have lost it's grip on the ceiling, fell on a blade of the fan, and got whipped around the room. At least that's what I hoped happened. Otherwise it's crawling somewhere close to me.

And that can't be good.


Brian Miller said...

ok you gave me shivers today...esp with it getting in the mouth...omg...that is gross....umm...hope you get your bugs worked out...

Valerie said...

I know how you feel Pat. I once had an earwig in my toothbrush... fortunately I saw it before I put the brush in my mouth. Do you have a long handled fly swatter? Mine is perfect for killing earwigs and other insects.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

As if I wasn't already itching! I am of the opinion that all bugs should be outside. Those earwigs smell nasty when squished. Oh and remember that movie about the man with an earwig in his ear. It finally comes out and he is so relieved until he is told the earwig was female and laid her eggs in his head!!!!!!!

Monkey Man said...

Ok, now you have me looking at all my base boards...thanx, lol ;)

Liz said...

I feel exactly the same as you. I can't stand that crunch when killing a bug. If it's a centipede, I will NOT touch it. If the hubby isn't around, it gets to roam free. If it's in a sink or the tub, I put a coffee mug over it and he knows what to do when he gets home. YUCK!

SquirrelQueen said...

Eww, now I'm starting to itch and search the walls for bugs. We have earwigs on our patio and I can deal with them there...they get stepped on immediately. If I ever spot them in the house I may never sleep again.

Gail said...

The answer is spiders, Pat. You must get spiders and they will keep the bugs population down.

Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

I forgot about earwigs...they're the one bug we DON'T have in Florida! And haven't seen any in Oregon for a while , knock wood.

Scrappy Grams said...

When I first started reading, I thought, "So what, a bug!" But when you showed an earwig, I thought about one of the movies I saw when I was a kid about an earwig that crawled into a man's ear and drove him crazy." Yikes, get some spray!
Watering lawns is not allowed in Indiana right now. At least one reservoir has dried up. Maybe you should tell your neighbor she should be conserving water if you also need rain.