Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Red Hats and Pat don't match

I am lucky to be blessed with a great group of women friends here in Mesa. They range in age from 54-80. The "core" group that I mostly do things with are from 54-69. Many of them are members of the Red Hat Society.

Do you know what that is?

It's women who go out together to eat, to the theater, etc., wearing purple and red, showing off that they are a proud member of the Red Hat Club, and proud of their age. They are supposed to be dealing with their age with a sense of humor by dressing up with these two clashing colors and saying to the world, "Look, I'm middle-aged. Now deal with it!"

I'm not dissing the Red Hat Society and their beliefs, but I'm not interested in joining their group for the following reasons:

a) Yeah, okay, so I'm middle-aged. It's better than being dead, mind you, but I don't have to shout from the roof tops that I'm over the hill!

b) I don't have to wear red and purple to call attention to myself. I can raise my own "freaky flag", thank you very much!

The other day my friends were talking about starting our own charter of the Red Hat Society.

"I'll never join," I said.

With various cries of, "Why not?" and "You're old enough!" I had to defend my decision to my friends.

One said, "Well, then you'll miss all the fun!"

Why can't we just all go out and forget about wearing any of that funky crap?

Someone suggested changing the colors to black and white.

Why wear anything?

Well, let me rephrase that.

Why do we have to wear something alike to link us all together? Isn't our friendship enough?

My husband, Jim, knows how much the Red Hat Society bugs me. In fact, any time we are out and about and we see a group of women dressed up in purple/red, he'll nudge me and say, "Look, hon, that could be you!"

I just want to slap him!

Okay, so maybe it's true that old people are testy about their age.

I don't WANT to join no stinking club! GOT IT?

If my husband is so interested in the Red Hat Society, why doesn't HE join?

Wait. It's only for women.

It just dawned on me. I could try an experiment and go to bed with nothing on but a red hat and purple boa and see how turned on he gets!

But I digress.

So the other day I was riding around our resort park going to patio sales (our version of garage sales), and when I returned I found this monstrosity sitting on one of my chairs outside of my trailer.

One of my friends (RACHEL!) thought this would be perfect for me, especially with that big "H" on the front that matches the initial of my last name.

Wasn't that sooo sweet of her?

You DO know sarcasm when you read it, right?

Long story short, the hat was passed around and is now back to it's rightful owner (RACHEL)!

She let me borrow it for this picture. It is the one and only time you will see me wear this.

By the way, if I should die before y'all, don't you dare stick a red hat on my head, for you will surely witness a person turning over in her grave! AND I will come back and haunt you!


Wendy said...

I know exactly what you mean Pat!
I have N O desire whatsoever to EVER be a member of that little "society".
Everybody can look at me and know that i'm "old". I don't need some "society" or some "color scheme" to declare it for me.

Besides, i'm *not* old.
My "age" may not be young anymore, but my
ATTITUDE sure is!
I've NEVER "acted my age"!

Age is only a number, which is a construct that man came up with, much like Time.
Who needs it?!

You and I? We'll keep "resisting".
All the rest can "join the society".


Gail said...

I agree! But what happens if you love purple??? I do but I must make sure never to wear it with a red hat.

Brian Miller said...

hehe. i imagine the hat and boa might...well...yeah, i am not into everyone having to dress the all...

Ami said...

Look at Pat in her Red Hat.
Pat don't wanna look like that.

I don't blame her, it's sorta lame... but if they move on without you, who's to blame?

THEM of course!!!

I don't want to wear purple. And NO HATS. EVER.

Let us know how the whole boa thing works out, will ya?

misslynda said...

I agree that I will never join that group either. One day I happened by a group of them having a meeting at the Holiday Inn in a room they had catered. They were singing, "Roll Out the Barrel." hmmmmmm I do believe I can find better entertainment than that. And after reading your blog, you have better fun that a girls' meeting, too!

Eva Gallant said...

I confess, I flirted with the red hats for a while before I retired. Most times it was fun. I had a red had with a purple tulip that stood straight up from that hat. But I got too busy with work for a while and lost touch. I think if I ever get a book written, though, I will reconnect and see if I can be a guest speaker at one of their get togethers. They would be sure to buy my book, especially if I was wearing that hat!

Sunny said...

No red hat for me! I don't need anymore reminders that I'm not getting any younger.
☼ Sunny

Valerie said...

Heehee, that definitely ain't you, Pat. I'm glad you're not falling for that gimmicky stuff. I want to grow old gracefully and only wear purple (lilac shades koff koff) because I like the colour and then only if it goes with the whole outfit. I try to be trendy without looking stupid.

Gail said...

Passed you an award...put it with the red hat if you want.

Happy Turkey Day!


OMG LOL You are a funny lady love your blog, thanx Gail for your mention of Pats blog I am definatly following . Have a a yummy Thanksgiving.

Snowflake said...

I don't think the hat has found its final resting place yet, something tells me it will show up from time to time!!! LOL

Anonymous said...

let me just say as a man, your hat and boa in bed may back fire...pretty much if ya in bed and breathing we like:)

you looked cute in the

Nezzy said...

I hear ya sister! The only time you'll see me in a red hat and a purple boa (except my profile) is when I'm playin' dress up with the granddaughters!!!

God bless ya and have the best Thanksgiving Day ever!!! :o)

A New England Life said...

Hee hee . . . no red hat for you? I know someone who belongs to the club and I have to say they all look so silly. But at the same time I think it's a kind of cute. However, like you I'll never be a part of it. Purple pants do not flatter my figure ; )

SquirrelQueen said...

I'm with you on the red hat and purple, no way, no how! Age is no excuse for bad taste...ick!

Happy Thanksgiving Pat!

Entre Nous said...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! We shall give thanks to all our fellow OLD-sters who steadfastly refuse to wear red hats!