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Sunday, November 21, 2010

It's Official - I'm OLD!

I had a rude awakening last night.

I found out that I was OLD!

It all started because I saw this young, ahem, cute, singer on "Saturday Night Live", back in October. His name is Bruno Mars.



I saw his pure, raw, talent and want to learn more about him so I GOOGLED him, found that he had a website and clicked the link. I watched a few more videos of this young, Elvis-looking singer, with his smooth voice, and saw the link that said "Tour Dates" and thought, "Hmmm..." and clicked.

You know where this is going, right?

Low and behold, Bruno Mars was coming to Scottsdale, AZ, a mere hop, skip and jump away from where we stay in Mesa for the winter. My finger posed over the "buy tickets" button for a few seconds.

Should I or shouldn't I?

I called Jim over to the computer and told him about this band I wanted to see and asked if he wanted to go. His reply? "I don't care."

That's all I need to to hear!

Bang! I quickly bought two tickets in a blink of an eye.

As the date for the concert drew nearer, I did a little research on the Martini Ranch, the place where the concert was being held. This is what I found out.

Standing room only. Uh-oh.

There were some minimal seats available, come early. (THIS WAS A LIE!)

Doors open at 7:00 pm, concert starts at 8:00 pm.

NO FOOD IS SERVED.

We decided to leave a little after 5:00 pm because we weren't familiar with the area, and with our large truck, parking is always questionable. Our thought was to find parking, then hopefully find a restaurant within walking distance of the concert building.

It was 5:40 when we drove past the Martini Ranch, and THERE WAS ALREADY A LINE! Say what?

I knew we were in trouble.

The good news is, there was public parking a couple blocks down that still had open spaces so we were able to park Big Blue with no problem.

There happened to be two restaurants across the street that we could grab something to eat. Do we chance it and watch the line grow even longer?

Or do we stand in line with our stomachs growling with the off chance we get a seat?

We opted to stand in line.

At 5:45 pm.

For a concert that's supposed to start at 8:00 pm.

That we will probably be standing for the whole time.

Am I sounding old yet?

I wore shoes with one inch heels. Are you laughing? Yeah, you read that right. ONE INCH HEELS. And my back could hardly take it. I actually stuffed some flat sandals in my small purse so I could switch shoes if need be.

I needed to.

Within 10 minutes of waiting in line.

I cajoled the people in line around me saying, "Okay, here's the game plan. All you young people rush to the stage, and leave the chairs for us old people!"

They started letting the people in around 6:15. The two bouncers were checking everyone's ID. Jim didn't even bother taking his out. I hopefully foolishly took mine out.

The guy was kind enough not to fall over laughing when he saw me holding out my driver's license. He said, "That's okay. I trust you."

Did I hear him snort, or was that my imagination?

Then he attached a wrist band to each of us and told us to go in. The young woman scanned our tickets and suddenly we were in the place.

And...it was so small.

We stood there a minute trying to figure it out. A long bar, running almost the length of the room was just about filled with patrons. The room wasn't too wide. To our left were four steps leading up to another small room with four booths, with reserved signs on them, and room for standing, then four steps down to a larger room with a stage.

This is where we stood, because there were no seats to be found.

Lovely.

I looked at my watch.

It was 6:30 pm.

Jim's face was a thundercloud. That's all he needed was a black shirt that said, "Security", and he'd a made a perfect BOUNCER.

He stood behind me with his arms crossed and leaned on a post.

Finally at about 7 pm a DJ came out a played some music to get the crowd going. While it's true that I'd never heard the music before, I enjoyed it and tried to ignore the pain shooting up my back and down my shoulders from  holding my purse.

Then a Rapper came out. I don't know what his name was; I asked the two young guys standing next to me. They had no idea who this guy was either.

I'm not a fan of rap but he wasn't bad.

I kept glancing back at Jim. At this point I thought I saw steam coming out of his ears, but I could be wrong.

The crowd kept getting thicker as the hour got nearer to when Bruno was coming on stage. Two young ladies had somehow finagled themselves in front of the two guys I had spoken to and were soon encroaching into my territory, which I had staked out SINCE 6:30!!

I turned to the guys and said, "Who's bright idea was it to let these girls in front of you? It may be good for you," I said, wiggling my eyebrows, "but bad for me!"

They both pointed at each other and laughed. Then the one guy said, "What do you mean?!" He was shorter than me and stood up on his tiptoes to try and see over the one tall blond.

The Rapper finished his set. I was trying not to feel claustrophobic in the crowd. I was afraid to look back at Jim, but I thought I'd better face the music, so to speak.

"How are you doing?" I asked sweetly.

Jim said, "I'm listening to one song, and if I don't like him, I'm waiting in the truck!"

Oookay. Not a happy camper, are we?

Granted. The music was loud (but not too loud), it was crowded (but not too crowded) and my back was killing me. But, dammit I paid for the ticket, I'm going to at least stay for the concert!

Of course, the concert didn't start on time. Does any one EVER start on time?

At 8:15 the band came out and the crowd went crazy.

They played a loud, fast song, and it did Jim in.

"I'm waiting in the truck!" He yelled in my ear.

Me? I stayed for just about the whole concert. It was great. And yeah, I was probably the oldest one in the crowd, but it didn't matter at that moment because we were all there for the same reason. Because we were awed by this singer's talent, and I'm sure, many of the girls were swooning by some of his dance moves. (I know I was!)

After the concert, Jim and I walked to a nearby Japanese restaurant. While waiting to be seated, a young group of people came in.

I sat there with my tired old body, my aching back, shoulders and feet and looked at what must truly be the "In Crowd". The girls were young and beautiful. And they had bodies to die for. They had flat stomachs, tiny waists, nice boobs, long hair, low necklines and high hemlines, and 3-4 inch heels of the latest fashion.

And that's when it hit me.

Who was I trying to kid?

I am freakin' old.

Okay, so I went to a concert of a 25-year-old singer. Whip-dee-do-dah. I had to take four, count 'em, FOUR ibuprofen just to make sure I could get out of bed this morning.

My feet are still hurting me.

I still feel like I was rode hard and put away wet.

The problem is, when I come down to Mesa for the winter, we stay in a 55 + community. I am the youngest in our group. Well, I was till Lenore started hanging with us. (She's a year younger than me.) So I started feeling full of myself, a little whippersnapper.

Then I ventured out of our community.

Hah! A rude awakening indeed!

A side note: While sitting in the restaurant, I noticed that we still had our wrist bands on from the concert. We needed scissors to cut them off. Jim had his pocket knife with him and he offered to slice the band. I said, "No, I'm wearing this as a badge of honor." Later I heard a guy at the next table say to his group as they were leaving something about "That couple.....awesome" and I just KNEW it had something to do with our concert wrist bands!

18 comments:

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

LOL! you are too funny! I wouldn't have been able to stand that long either. I'm afraid I'd have had to wait in the truck with Jim.

David Waters said...

Bravo! I think it is grand that you wnet, now that I'm older I miss out on things because I fear being to old to go. I am taking a que from you...next time look for me on the fron trow, I'll be the old guy with a cain...lol

becky said...

Oh, Pat! YOU are hee-larious! I love music, but I really quit going to concerts years ago because of the crowds & volume level. I feel young at heart... but I probably would have been like Jim... tempted to wait in the truck. He's a good sport! If you ever get to San Diego- see a show at Humphrey's. They have food, places to sit, it's at a tolerable noise level & the crowd is all ages.

Eva Gallant said...

I would have probably beat your husband to the truck! But the singer is very good...I'd opt for buying his CDs or DVDs and enjoying them in the comfort of my recliner.....I'm old too!

B. WHITTINGTON said...

Hurrah for you for sticking with the concert. I give you a dozen roses, girlfriend. I love good music and might have stayed as well.
Besides, I hate to spend money and not get my money's worth.
Sounds as though your hubby is a pretty good sport, going to the truck to sit alone.
Not so such my man would have done that.
Blessings to you and yours. Barb
Happy Thanksgiving.

Linda Pendleton said...

LOL. I said to my son and grandson not too long ago, that as much as I want to see the Eagles, Elton John, Jon Bon Jovi, when they have been in my area, I guess my concert days are over. Of course, I was never one to go anywhere unless I had a comfortable up-front seat. And anyway, being short does not do for concert viewing! DVDs will have to be it for us, Pat. :-)

Bonnie said...

That's it: You're not old, you're AWESOME!

Ami said...

I love you.
I stand (okay, sit) in awe.

I can't do crowds. Can't stand for long. Hubby would never consent to go with me to something like that.

I think I'm old, too.
:-D

Brian Miller said...

ha. you rock pat...glad you had fun..and a couple ibuprofin are not a bad trade off...

Sunny said...

Oh don't say you're old 'cause if you're old I'm an antique!
You really should write a book!
☼ Sunny

Missy said...

You are so funny! You are not old. Old is when you do not want to do fun things!~

Gail said...

Delightful! One of these days I am going somewhere with you and we will have the time of our lives!!! I know I would be sore from laughing.

misslynda said...

You are one brave woman who is to be admired for sticking it out even when her body said to stop! I might have done the same as Jim but probably would have gone to the restaurant to wait rather than the truck. However, I am glad the concert itself lived up to your expectations once the main performer took the stage. The best part of it all was reading your telling of it all.

SquirrelQueen said...

Wear that wrist band proudly. Glad to hear you had a good time at the concert but sorry Jim didn't. The last concert we saw was Alice Cooper, there were plenty of seats but most everyone (including me) stood on them so we could see Alice. We were only about ten rows back and I was deaf for a week but it was great. That was about 4 years ago and I have a year or two on you. Enjoy life!

Donna B said...

I just LOVE traveling vicariously with you...I always have so much fun, and KNOW, positively, you and I would laugh our heads off if we really did get together some day...

I can so sympathize with you. Nothing will make you feel older than sore feet. I have given up wearing heels unless I absolutely HAVE to, like for a wedding or funeral...otherwise, it is all about flip flops, tennis shoes or Crocks.

Big HUGS to you and hope you recover soon.

This Hugo Marks is quite handsome and I enjoyed his creative video.

Valerie said...

Far be it from me to laugh at someone else's pain...
Gee Pat, you are so funny. But I admire your pluck. You wouldn't have got me within yards of that line-up let alone wait in it. Dishy singer or not, I would have bought a CD and been content to listen whilst lounging on the couch.

JayLeigh said...

LOL What a really great post!! I think it's great that you went. My husband and I were some of the oldest people at a concert we went to last year and it was a small place with only standing room so I could kind of picture some of what you were saying. And those people who cut in front when you have been standing there a long time... grrr.... that's so annoying when they do that. *hugs*

for a different kind of girl said...

If it makes you feel better, my feet hurt vicariously after reading this! You're a trouper! There's no way my old body could do this, but I'm glad you got to, and that you enjoyed yourself. This story cracked me up!