Naughty Jokes

I Went To The Pub Last Night (R)

I was talking to a girl in the pub last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there."
***
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat girl dancing on a table.
I said to her, "Nice legs."
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."
I said "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now. "
***
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling their breast.
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.
"Come on, what day was I born"?
I said, " yesterday."

This girl looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Blue?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath, taste it."

(Received these in an email. Had a good laugh and wanted to share them with you. I hope I didn't offend any one. Don't want to receive any hate mail. Yes, it may seem sexist. It's just a joke! Laugh a little! :) )