No one to bug me anymore...

Did you know that there are NO BUGS in Arizona? Okay, that might be a SLIGHT exaggeration. But there are no mosquitoes, very few flies, and a few bees. The point is, we could leave our screen door open for awhile and not worry about anything flying in, you know?

Well, we're not in Arizona anymore, kiddies.

Apparently, when Jim removed the vent, and drove 50 miles one way to get a replacement part,

the nearby flies thought the hole was something to be explored and all flew in there like the bats at Carlsbad Cavern, NM:

photo courtesy of stealthtdi.com

We have been killing, or trying to kill, flies while we've traveled all across the State of Nebraska.

And they are persistent little fu*k*rs!

Either that or I'm a really bad aim.

I think it's a little bit of both.

I've let a few out that landed on the door. But the others. Oh, the others.....

The other night I was sitting at the kitchen table, just minding my own business, blogging away.

This one fly would NOT leave me alone.

He began taunting me by walking across the monitor a few times. I'd "shoo" him away and continue typing.

He obviously didn't like being ignored. He started landing on my body, crawling up my arms.

Slap!

I'd miss him.

The other arm!

Slap!

Miss!

By the time the evening was over, I'd look like I went a round with Ali!

I saw him climbing up the curtains. I grabbed a tablet of paper and thwack! A miss!

Okay, this was sad! I got out the big guns....the fly swatter.

Usually just the sight of the fly swatter keeps the flies away. But this guy was like "The Terminator".

HE wasn't afraid of the EXTERMINATOR!!

He turned into a freaking kamikaze pilot and dive-bombed my ears.

First he went after my left ear. I thought he was going to bore a hole all the way through to the other side! I screamed and slapped my ear!

A few minutes later he dove into my right ear! That's all I heard was that angry buzzing!

I screamed again, slapped my ear, and said a few choice words.

To add insult to injury, he landed on my nose and even my glasses.

Taunting me.

I was near tears.


I swung that fly swatter several times at that S.O.B.

And missed.

Sometimes I hit him and actually stunned him. He spun around in a circle on the table, and I SWEAR he stood up, shook himself off, GRINNED AT ME, rubbed his little hands together, and snickered as if to say, "That's all you got?"

At this point Jim walked into the kitchen to get something. This might not seem significant to you. But you see, we have a sliding glass door that separates the "living room" from the kitchen in the trailer, which is quite nice when I don't want to hear the blasting television. So, Jim opened the door, came in the kitchen for a snack, went back to his man-cave, and within a minute I heard him slapping himself left and right and swearing.

And I knew that I would be bug-free for awhile.

It only lasted till the next day.

The fly was around for a few more days to bug us.

Until this morning.

Jim saw it on the wall and quickly reached his hand out and smack!

He got it.

Dead.

As.a.doornail. (What the hell does THAT even mean?)

I actually was sad. I was getting kind of attached to "Ahnold" the Terminator Fly.

Then I walked into the kitchen and saw ANOTHER fly.

What the...?

I pointed that one out to Jim.

He grabbed the fly swatter and BAM!

He turned it up a notch as Emerile would say, and we had another dead fly on our hands.

And you know, I really wasn't feeling too bad about it!

Jim's been trying to convince me to buy an electric fly swatter.

They are available at Amazon for only $6.55. I just might buy myself one!

To see how good YOU are at killing flies, try this game.

My score was sucky.

Like this is a newsflash.