Stupid is as stupid does

Okay, see here's the thing. I do stupid things maybe once a month, week, day. I'm not proud of it, but as my sister, Linda, likes to say, "It is what it is."

You've probably read how people should "exercise" their brain, and although I hate exercise in any way, shape, OR form, I thought I'd give it a try.

I take a stab at Sudoku puzzles.



True, I can't get past a "3-star" (medium) one, (5 star being the hardest). What usually happens is that I ball the paper up in frustration and throw it across the room towards the wastepaper basket - and miss!

I do the daily crossword puzzles in the paper, in INK mind you. Monday starts easy and the puzzle gets progressively harder as the week goes on. Sometimes I finish Monday's puzzle.

We do keep a crossword puzzle book in the bathroom to make your shitting sitting pleasure more enjoyable. The first 30-50 pages are the simple puzzles that you can breeze through in one sitting.

My point to all of this is, I try folks. I really try to make the ole neurons in my brain connect like they are supposed to. But somewhere along the way, they are misfiring.

Take for instance this morning. I needed a mirror so I could see the back of my hair. My small hand mirror got broken (I know!) on our flight back to Arizona. So I've been walking around for days not knowing what my "do" looks like in the back. Totally frustrated, I started rummaging through my three bags of make up that I don't wear - thinking that there had to be a mirror in there. I scored! I found this.



Now - you all might be wondering, "What's so stupid about that?" Patience my children. This little make up item was a free gift from a clothing store. I have picked this up and looked at it SEVERAL times and wanted to used it. But I wasn't sure what the stuff inside of it was exactly. On the back it reads:



Again I am puzzled. Which row is the eye shadow, and which row is the lip gloss?



Today I was happy just to use the mirror. You noticed that two brushes were included with this kit. I turned the kit over to dump the brushes out and while I was turning the kit back over, this is what I found.



That's right. A secret compartment with the eyeshadow. Ta-da! So now I know. The eyeshadows are on the bottom compartment; lip glosses are on the top. How many times did I pick this up, turn it over and read it, turn it back and study it, then put it aside? At least 3. How stupid am I?


Stupid Incident No. 2

The other day I went to grab my toothbrush and my brain farted. I couldn't remember which brush was mine. I know this isn't earth shattering, but it's troubling nonetheless. I yelled to my husband, "Which toothbrush is yours?"

"Uh, the blue one?" He answered - not too assuredly.

"The BLUE one?" I shrieked knowing full well that this meant he used it that morning. "I think that's MINE!" I said with a sudden flash of memory. I mean, really, what are the chances that the both of us would forget which toothbrush we use? Seriously? And, eww, the thought of someone else using my toothbrush totally grosses me out. I don't care if it's the same mouth I stick my tongue in at night! I say the blue one is mine! That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Stupid Incident No. 3

One time I was walking out of a restroom in a restaurant and saw a glimpse of a woman walking towards me. I thought, "Wow! What a coincidence! She has on the same top that I do!" Yep, it was a mirror!

Stupid Incident No. 4

We played bocce ball over the weekend with a group of friends. One of them was blind. He played better than me. It would be funny if it were true. It's true. Go ahead and laugh. Got it out of your system? Good!

So now it's your turn to make ME laugh. What stupid things have YOU done lately? Come on, spill it.