Twenty-seven years ago, my divorce when through with my first husband. We had been married 7 years. He came down with the "Seven Year Itch" and scratched it. Then I told him to "Go Scratch". His loss. We had two small children at the time. A newborn baby girl, and a 2 year old son. But that's not what this post is about. This is about my Coming Out Party. Whoopee! Yes, folks, after getting married so young, (19), I felt I deserved a divorce party.
I only served "Orgasms" for drinks in a punch bowl. That's a mixture of Baily's Irish Cream and Amaretto.
Anyway, back to the whole trendsetter thing. I ordered a penis-shaped cake at the local bakery. It was the size of half a sheet cake. I had them write on it, "A Hard Man Is Good To Find". It was pretty cool looking, if I have to say so myself. Obviously, the lady behind me in line didn't agree with me. She said, "Oh, HOW disgusting!" when the bakery lady held the cake up for my approval. I just laughed, said it was fine, and she boxed it up for me. Now I see that divorce cakes are really in. Who knew that I was leading the pack 27 years ago? Take a look at these divorce cakes:
I wanted to use my wedding pictures as coasters, but my friends talked me out of it. Said that I should save them for my kids, or something like that. Whatever. Oh, and if you were worried about my kids, they were NOT in the house for the party. I think my sister had them overnight.
A good time was had by all and I started dating my current husband about a month later. Or my "Knight in Shining Armour", as I called him. My mom, got bless her and rest her soul, used to say, "Who is going to marry you with two small children?" It made me laugh. She used to pray to St. Jude for me. If any of you are Catholic, you know that St. Jude is the patron saint of hopeless cases.
Yep. That's my mom. I know she had the best of intentions. And, how do I know? Maybe St. Jude sent Jim my way. I actually knew Jim when I was married to the first guy. Jim and I both worked for the government - I was in the office and Jim worked out in the field. I met him once, right after he had gone through a divorce, but I was still married. (Happily, I thought, at the time!) I had my son and left my job; two years later had my daughter, got divorced and went back to work for the government. By this time, Jim had transferred to the regional office where I was working. We met up again, and the rest, as they say, is history.
18 comments:
St Jude, help me!
I love your story. Who knew, you could have opened a bakery with your divorce party designs and been a rich lady.
I perfer to think you are the richest woman I know. Jim is your reward for your bad times and your constant partner in your good times.
Maybe St Jude was listening!
It's a funny thing, that seven year itch! I had a husband with the same condition, however his came year early. (like most of what he did..hehe)
I wasn't as clever (or trendsetting) as you.
Maybe I'll have a "six year anniversary of the six year itch party". I'll plan it on the sixth. That way the invitations can read
"666"...
:-)
I'll send you an invite, just in case your travels some this-a-way!
It is too bad you had to go through such a difficult time, but it sounds like it was just a delay until you found the perfect guy. I only did it once and it has been 33 years, but there have been days I felt like I wanted one of those cakes.
so sorry abt that..anyway, you are very happy now which is more important..take care..
You are a trendsetter in every way! A comedic trendsetter. Glad you and Jim found each other.
GREAT post Pat!
I *love* your sense of humor. =-)
hi..greetings from www.reanaclaire.com
i like your post..very hilarious post and pictures too.. thank God you have found your white knight!
Those are great cakes!! I had a divorce party as well...twice. Maybe will have another one...jury's still out.
My first had the itch at 6 years but I didn't have a party. Mind you. I have to say that I think it's a sad world that there are enough in numbers to warrant designer cakes and greetings cards, which we have over here.
My first one lasted five and one-half years - and I frequently said it was five years too long. I got two great kids out of it, but I knew early on that I had made a big mistake - but, being the dutiful person that I was, I made the best of it. Until the abuse switched from just me to including my children. At that point, the man had to go or I'm afraid I would have made one of those bloody cakes a reality.
That was the fall of 1982; Shaun was four and Amy was 1. My divorce was final in 1983 and I met Ron in 1984 - with the rest being history. Funny thing about him... my brother is a plumber and lives in Topeka; Ron owned restaurants there and one time my brother unclogged a drain for him. My brother's wife worked for Ron when she was in high school. So, when I introduced him to my family, my brother and SIL already knew him.
LOL - my word verification for this post is "stabbing" - how funny!
You kill me! Love this post....I've never been married, I still consider this a good thing....but, have friends who've been through the ringer.....I'm thinking of throwing roomie a party when her's is final.....I like the cakes.....
Jesus, you are really funny!
I love the first cake in the post!
My Dad had that 7 year itch and the 14 year and 21 year itches also!
Glad you found your knight in shining armour. Those are some wild cakes!
You have a wicked sense of humor! I like it.
Love this story! My cousin recently had a divorce party, but she opted to bypass what could have been a very clever cake!
Those cakes are awesome.
I also got married at 19. So far, my husband hasn't gotten an itch. I hope he doesn't.
Those cake are hilarious, too funny. You have a great sense of humor and definitely a trend setter. I've only been married once and it took me awhile to find him. I had to marry a younger guy to get a good one so I think I'll keep him.
Those are some pretty kick-ass cakes. I have made penis cakes before. I use the Dora the Explorer cake pan. Ha! Shapes just like a peen. Most people want them cream filled too.
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