Friday, August 28, 2009

Which door should I choose?

Okay folks. I am saying it now. I am sick and tired of the cutesy names on the bathroom doors at restaurants. It has gotten way out of control. When it gets to the point that when I go to the bathroom and I have to pause and study the names on the door to figure out what I am before entering, it has got to stop.

One time, while eating at the Outback Restaurant, I needed to use the facilities. To my dismay I was confronted with two doors. One said, “Sheilas”, the other said “Blokes”. I wasn’t quite sure what I was. So I had to rush back to my table and blurted out to my husband, “Quick! What am I? A Sheila or a Bloke?”

“Sheila,” He smirked.

I quickly ran and entered door number one.

Give me the “Ladies” and “Gentlemen” signs, or “Women” and “Men” signs. Heck, I’ll take the universal sign of the lady in the blue dress.

If that is too sexist, we could put the little blue man on the women's door and just add a couple of ta-ta’s to him. I don’t care. But please, please can we do away with these?

Gulls and buoys

Roosters and hens

Setters and pointers

Guys and dolls

Those weren’t too hard to figure out. It’s when you’re in an Italian, German, Spanish, etc. restaurant and the names on the bathroom doors are in a different language. Who can remember back to your high school days of Spanish 1, or German 1? C’mon folks. I need to PEE. Just slap the lady in the blue dress on the door and be done with it.

Here are some bathroom signs from all over the world. They are very inventive. Again. Listen to me people. Blue lady=international sign. It works. Here's even one of the blue lady doing the pee-pee dance. I love it!

I, myself, didn't personally experience these, luckily, because I'd still be standing in front of them with my head to the side thinking, "WTF?"

Here's one from somewhere in Iran:

Here's one in Turkey:


This one truly puzzles me. Top left - proper way to use the toilet. Top right - are those SPLASH lines? So no peeing in the toilet? I guess they want you to use the urinal. Middle left - WHAT? No praying to the porcelain god? You're not allowed to vomit? Middle right - Do you know ANYBODY who sits like that on the toilet? Bottom left - Seriously. Fishing? And exactly WHAT would you be fishing for might I ask? Bottom right - Let me say right now - if a man can balance on one leg and bend over like that and pee AND hit his mark? I would PAY to see that. Because it seems that normal men balanced on two feet have a problem with that.

Obviously only men on Viagra and women with silicone breasts are allowed to enter these restrooms!


Rae said...

Where in the world did you find those signs? What a hoot. I fell down the other day and bruised my side, now I am more sore from laughing at your post. I think you should consider getting paid for a humor column. You are hilarious. Thanks again for making my day.

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Okay - I just peed my pants sitting here laughing!! I think Rae is right - you should be paid for this - you are GREAT!

Sunny said...

You really are too funny! I'm going to be laughing the rest of the day.
Sunny :)

Valerie said...

I never saw such weird signs but they definitely made me laugh.

f8hasit said...

Those are the funniest signs ever! Thank you so very much for the laugh. I'm going to have to buy some Depends if I'm going to continue to read your blog...

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Now you have me thinking that I should come up with some camping related signage for our facilities. One tent for the guys, two tents for the ladies. I shall ponder the possibilities during my next bout of insomnia.

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

You are too funny! I about needed to find the bathroom after reading that. I am so totally with you on the signs. It's terrible to try and figure out which one is which. We've been to several that I've been wondering which one is for me when someone walked out and solved the problem for me.

Ruth said...

This is brilliant, amazing! I never knew or saw so many symbols for male and female. You are right, they are inventive. I'm just tickled. That last one is AWESOME.

otin said...

That is hysterical!!!!
I have a funny bathroom story that I need to post some time!

Carletta said...

Most of these are just a little much! I agree - blue universal sign.
Yes, your humor is wonderful!!!!!

Lisa Gioia-Acres said...

This is the best post ever!