Miracle Elixir From the Mother

The other day I was sitting outside on the patio at my friend, Judy's  place. Then our friend, Marty, joined us. We were just chit-chatting like women do, when Judy said, "Marty, tell Pat about that "tonic" you take."

Marty makes up this special "tonic" and has been drinking it for well over a year. It is like a miracle elixir.

Marty said,

"Mix 1 cup of natural honey (from the area where you live if possible)
1 cup of apple cider vinegar "FROM THE MOTHER"

"From the mother? Not from the Father?" I said. "What the heck does that mean?"

Marty wasn't sure but you MUST use the apple cider vinegar "FROM THE MOTHER". You MAY find in in grocery stores, but MOST health food stores carry it.

Marty continued."Also add 8 cloves of garlic to the liquids."

"Wow. Not only will this ruin your sex life, but it will also protect you from vampires!" I said.

This is what it is supposed to help (according to the website www.rawfoodinfo.com):

Muscle or joint aches, Alzheimer's disease, arthritis, asthma, high blood pressure, hemorrhoids, infertility and impotence, toothaches, fewer colds and infectious diseases, obesity ( a powerful fat destroyer and weight reducer), ulcers, reduces high blood pressure and cholesterol, reduced risks of breast, blocks agents of cancer of the breast - colon - esophagus - skin - stomach and stimulates the immune system.

Okay so here it is again.

1 cup honey
1 cup apple cider vinegar from the mother (means unfiltered)
8 garlic cloves

 

Put all three ingredients in a blender and mix till smooth. (I "smashed" the garlic first on a cutting board, then threw them in the blender.)

It looks almost like milk when you first mix it together.

But then it settles down to a natural brown color. Store in refrigerator for 5 days. Then on the 6th day, SHAKE WELL. First thing in the morning, take 2 teaspoons of the concoction and then drink at least 1/4 cup of water. Then wait at least 30 minutes before eating. Bottoms up! Jim and I found it easier to quickly down it from a shot glass instead of taking it one teaspoon at a time. I admit, it's not that great tasting, but it's over in a second and the water helps.

When I was looking for the special apple cider vinegar, I called a local store. Here's how the conversation went:

Ring, ring.

me: "Hello, I'm looking for apple cider vinegar 'from the mother'. Do you have any?"

friendly young woman (FYW): "Yes, I'm sure we do."

Me: "......."

FYW: "Let me check to be sure!"

Me: " I would appreciate that!"

FYW: a couple minutes later "Well, we have apple cider vinegar 'by the mother'. Will that do?"

Me: "Close enough! I guess if it's near the mother it will work! Do you know what that means?"

FYW: "I have NO idea", laughing.

Me: "It means 'unfiltered'."

FYW: "Oh! And you're in luck! It's on sale today for $2.99!"

Me: "Yipee!"


We've been taking the tonic for four days now. I've yet to be doing cartwheels and handsprings, but I'll keep you informed on my progress!

Let me know if any of you try this concoction!

(Keep tonic refrigerated and be sure to shake it up every morning before taking it.)

Thursday's Things in a Row

This week is the second half of "Things in a Row" at a Toy Store!

Did YOU ever hear of "Capsule Man"? Me neither. Doesn't sound like someone you'd want hanging around the school yard, either! The directions state to drop these capsules in warm water and watch critters appear! Ta-da! There is a warning about a choking hazard. No freaking kidding! If you swallowed this and all of a sudden you had a, let's say, GIRAFFE in your throat, uh YEAH, I'd say that was choking. Even worse, let's say you swallow this and it gets to your STOMACH. Then what? Pouf? Now you have a sponge animal floating around on your gastric acids? Nice. Try passing an elephant out your back end. Maybe sometimes it's felt like it, but now you have the REAL DEAL!

Speaking of animals, these are some kind of carriers that hold "zooables" whatever the heck THOSE are. Look like little animal characters. Each year they come out with a new product so the parents and grandparents have to fork over more moola!

 

Now! This is more like it! A sensible card game! Who DOESN'T like a fast game of Uno?

I had to blow up this photo because for a minute there I thought ole Barbie was pregnant and showing her bare belly. Doesn't it look like that? That Ken! He's sure been busy! But, I was wrong! Just an optical illusion! This is Barbie in a Mermaid's Tale. Is her name "Merliah" or is that how you say "Mermaid" in Spanish?

So, kiddies, anything good this week for me?

Signs - You had Sex WHERE?

I can't take credit for these photos. I saw these drawings/signs on the internet and thought they were funny. Wouldn't they be cute in a couple's apartment? Sure would get the guests talking!  They are by Steve Lambert.

 

Oh, to be young again! Sigh!

For more signs, visit Lesley here. (This week I'll put the link in!)

Got a Million Bucks?

Hey! Let's say you've got a million bucks AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT!

I've got an idea!

Why not buy a Human Slinky!

A WHAT?

H-U-M-A-N  S-L-I-N-K-Y!!

AND, you are in luck BECAUSE it is listed for sale on ebay for a mere $1,000,000! Here's the description:

"The most unusual, astonishing, unique and creative act of its kind in the world featured in the world oddities book “Ripley’s Believe It Or Not!: Prepare to Be Shocked!”, winner award Best Variety Act 2008 at the Hollywood Best New Talent Awards. People ask… what is it? What are we watching? Everywhere are completely astonished and baffled at the act. Veniamin’s® his name and he comes from Romania and live in USA. He’s appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman, America’s Got Talent, When Will I Be Famous, The View, Viva Variety, Paul O’Grady Show and many other TV shows all over the World."

It has be listed for over 25 days, with no bids yet. Hmmm, I wonder why? I mean, the SHIPPING'S FREE for cripe's sake!

Watch this video of the Human Slinky in action. It's oddly fascinating. Like an accident you can't look away from.



Just tell me this? Was it necessary to have that woman perform? What the heck did she add to the act?

So, in case you DO buy the Human Slinky, please let me be the FIRST to know and I'll interview you for my blog! I'll take pictures and everything! I swear!

I Embarrassed My Husband AGAIN

I really don't TRY to.

Honestly.

I'm just being myself, after all.

So here's how it went down.

We were at a restaurant and I noticed this couple sitting across from us. The man was bald and when he turned to the side, I noticed he had a tattoo on the back of his head.

At first glance, I wasn't quite sure if I saw the tattoo correctly.

So I continued to stare throughout my meal (not conspicuously, I hope.)

I said to Jim, "I want to take a picture of that man's head."

"What man?"

"Over there. He's got a funny tattoo on the back of his head."

Jim let out a big sigh.

"Would this embarrass you?" I asked.

"Yes. Why do you have to take a picture? Why can't you just look at it and be done with it?"

Uh. Duh. Because I have a BLOG and I want to SHARE this moment with ALL OF YOU!!

So I didn't embarrass Jim, at least right away.

But I thought about the man with the tattoo. It was pretty funny. And I bet he got a lot of comments. So I kept an eye on him, and "coincidentally" *wink* *wink*, we went up to pay our bill at the register at the same time.

The man with the tattoo got in line first, Jim was second.

The man's wife stood aside, I was next to her.

I asked her, "Do you think your husband would mind if I took a picture of his tattoo? I think it is so funny!"

"Of course not! People take photos of it all the time! Don won't mind!"

So here it is:

And here is Don from the front.

Doesn't he look like a fun person? He must have a great personality! I told him that I loved his tattoo and he said, "Thanks! I like it! I figured people will either love it or hate it! I think it's funny!"

And THAT my friends is why it's great to carry a camera at all times!

It's the end of the world as we know it

Maybe the Mayans WERE right in predicting that the world will end in 2012.

The Hostess company is filing for bankruptcy.

If that name doesn't ring a bell, maybe these photos will help you. Hostess is the maker of:

     

The junk food that I grew up with. Sigh.

So WHAT that the ingredients on the side of the box are over an inch long and people can't even pronounce them?

So WHAT that Twinkies have a shelf life of THREE YEARS?

So WHAT that eating this stuff can cause obesity and can be hazardous to your health?

This SHIT is good! I grew UP on this stuff! And I'M okay.

Granted, I AM overweight, and I DO sorta GLOW in the dark, but, aside from that, I'm OKAY.

It's OKAY to eat this stuff! REALLY.

I was HORRIFIED to hear that Hostess was going to file bankruptcy. It brought TEARS to my eyes.

"Noooo!" I yelled!

True, I hadn't eaten a Twinkie since, well, wait I DID have a DEEP-FRIED Twinkie in Vegas a couple of years ago just for grins. And I DID eat one so that I could write all about it on my blog here.

My point it, (and I DO have one), I want EVERYONE to go out and buy Hostess products so we can save the company AND I can recapture my youth.

Thank you.

Thursday's Things in a Row

I don't know about you, but it's getting harder and harder to come up with interesting photos of things in a row. Lucky for me that I always carry my "point and shoot" camera! Today I went exploring in the Toy Department! Look what I found!

Pink bikes with pink tires, too!

Aren't the bike helmets adorable?

Justin Bieber Bears! Seriously?

Baby Cinderallas! Aren't we starting a little young?

Almost "Stepford Wive-ish, only in babyland!"

I LIKE this good old-fashioned toy - requires no batteries, either!

Vroom! Vroom!

Who doesn't love a yo-yo? Can you "walk the dog"?

I'll share the rest of my toy photos next week. Did you find anything in a row this week?

Signs - Talk Dirty to Me!

This is a T-shirt I received for Christmas from my niece. Does she know me or WHAT?!

For more fun signs, visit Lesley here.

Laughter is the BEST Medicine!

When I was home for the holidays, I visited my 83-year-old aunt a few times who was in the hospital. She had fallen in her apartment and cracked her pelvis and wrist. (She's doing good now and is out of the hospital.)

During one of my visits, children from a nearby school came to the hospital and sang Christmas carols. Although they sang at the other end of the corridor, their voices carried and they sounded like little angels. My sister and I, along with my aunt, and my cousin, were sitting in a small lounge area, when the little children came in bearing home-made get well cards. They started handing them out to ALL of us, when someone said, "WE'RE not sick, SHE is!" and pointed to my aunt. She received about 10 cards, each one cuter than the next.

I had to take pictures of them and share them with you.

They were THAT darn cute!

I was so impressed with their artistic ability. I'm guessing these kids were in third or fourth grade.


I love the "layered" look, the blue snowflakes, the use of pinking shears to cut out the tree!

Truthfully, this is equal to MY artistic ability. Fact. But I still think it is cute.

Look at the detail in the exclamation point. Is that a "bow" on the dot?

Inside the card this child shows off more artistic talent. Look at the detail in the ornament hook!

On the green card - that kid prints fancier than me! I LOVE the moon on the card to the right!

Love the message, "Dear Person"!

This is one of my favorites. Doesn't this look like an old-fashioned Santa Claus? (maybe doing a disco dance?)

Does this just break your heart or what?

This card made me laugh! "I hope you get out soon!" As if the person were in prison! Ha ha!

I saved the BEST for last. This little girl put a lot of detail in the picture. The little girl has a "bubble" by her mouth that reads "good luck". She REALLY pours her heart out in the card!

It's hard to read the card. She wrote, "Dear Friend, I really hope you feel better. I know you're strong and tough and you will recover. Don't lose hope!" Then she wrote with a red crayon on the red paper and it gets REALLY difficult to read. We had a hard time reading it IN PERSON. It said something about "Even though I don't know you, I will still pray for you. God works miracles. Happy Holidays. Sincerely Mailah"  This is pretty deep for an 8-10 year old, don't you think?

I hope you enjoyed these as much as I did!

A Technical Christmas Song

I know the majority of you probably have all your Christmas decorations packed neatly away and are looking forward to Spring, but I came across this great holiday video and I couldn't pass up sharing it with you.

This is Christmas music made on iPhones and iPads at North Point Community Church.


Enjoy.