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Sunday, July 31, 2011

Sunday Bridges - Bridge Wannabe

I saw this bridge on the side of the road and had to laugh. You know that saying, "And if you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you!" Well here you go! Click photo to enlarge.

Bridge Wannabe

I made my husband pull the truck over to the side of the road and I hopped out to take the picture. It was only a two lane road; not too busy. As I was taking the picture, I heard a car slow down and then stop. I glanced up and saw that it was a police car. The policeman lowered his window and said, "Heck of a place to take a picture." I just laughed. He said, "I hate to see you get hit." Then he rolled up his window and took off! When I had walked over to the bridge, there were no cars coming!

For more Sunday Bridges, visit Louis here.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Brenda's Photo Challenge - ABC's

Brenda's Photo Challenge this month was to find letters of the alphabet in objects, whether they were planned or accidental. I only searched through half the photos I have on file, and this is what I came up with. You might have to use your imagination on a few of them. Or really squint your eyes. Just roll with it, okay?

We'll start with the letter "A". This was taken at a rest stop out west in New Mexico or Arizona. I drew the "A" in....I guess I didn't give my readers enough credit on this one!


The letter "H", as in how the heck did someone carve this beautiful bench?


A moss-covered "J"-shaped tree root. (Tilt your head to the right - then you'll see it, I promise!)


The letter "O", as in "Oh my, look at that wagon wheel!"


The letter "P" as in "What a perfect holder for that lantern!"


See the "T" in the scarecrow? Yes, I KNOW there's no "T" in Scarecrow! But look at the shape! Cute, yes?


The letter "V" brought to you by this stray puppy who was happy to show me his belly.


The letter "W" - found in Monument Valley, AZ. This is called "Three Sisters".


"X" marks the spot with two trees.....also in the reflection.


"Y" not a saguaro?


For more ABC photo's click here.

Friday, July 29, 2011

That's What Friends Are For

During the summer we come back up to the Northwest suburbs of Chicago to stay for a few months. This gives me a chance to spend some time with our son, my siblings, and to catch up with old friends.

The other night I went out with a couple of those old friends - Theresa and Kim. I met Theresa a mere 35 years ago when she was fresh out of high school and starting her first full time job. I, being much older (by almost 4 years!) and more experienced - took her under my wings and showed her the ropes of working in an office.

Kim and I go back…..let’s see….we became friends in grade school about third or fourth grade….when my mother finally let me cross the street on my own! Kim lived across the street. It wasn’t a busy street, but I guess my mother figured it was busy enough with the Catholic school directly across from our house, and the public school on the corner. Anyway, that was about 48 years ago. Holy crap I’m getting old!

I only worked with Kim, Theresa, and Marcia (who couldn’t make it to our outing the other night - but I’ve been friends with her for 35 years, too!) a handful of years back in the 1970’s. Then I quit work to have a baby. Three years, another baby, and a divorce later, I returned to work and it was like I had never left. Then I met Jim and we DID leave - transferred to Washington, DC.

My point, and I DO have one, is not to give you my personal work history, but to tell you about these great friends.

And how I see them once, MAYBE twice a year; yet it feels like we’ve never been apart. We pick up right where we’ve left off.

I can be myself around them. They have seen my ugly side, my bitchy side, even my mean side. (Who, moi? Yes, moi.)

And you know what?

They still love me.

Little ole me.

They accept me and all my dirty little secrets.

Oh yeah, I have some of those.

I won’t share them with YOU, but I’ve shared them with my peeps.

AND I know my secrets will go no further.

These girls are true friends.

We can sit and bitch about our husbands (not that I have ANYTHING to complain about with YOU, Honey!) (I say that with my fingers crossed) and know that:

a) the words will NEVER leave that table;  and

b) Not one of us will EVER hold a grudge against any of the girl’s husband’s and

c) We know that we can talk freely AND NOT BE JUDGED.

How wonderful is that?

Back to my night of gambling.

Did I mention how me and slot machines are like this?



Did I mention that I don’t have much luck at casinos?



Did I mention that I don’t have much luck AT ALL no matter what the gambling venue?

Did I mention that Jim and I once went to the horse track, bet on a horse, and our horse DROPPED DEAD before reaching the finish line? Oh yes he did! (Takes on a whole new meaning to “place” in a horse race.)

If the answer is “no” to the above questions, keep reading.

If the answer is “yes” to the above questions, hell, keep reading anyway!

Okay, so we arrived at the newly-opened casino around 4:45 pm. Kim and I signed up for one of their cards. I hoped the casino would start us off with $10 of gambling money like some nice OTHER casinos, but NO, this one was too cheap to do that. Even though I think that the cards are rigged to not allow the people to WIN with the “free” 10 bucks, it’s nice for a person to dream, right?

A plus for the casino? NO SMOKING inside! YES! There’s nothing worse then sitting at a slot machine and have someone who smokes like a chimney park themselves right next to you and blow smoke in your face. I know, I can ALWAYS get up and move, but what if I’m on a winning streak?

We scouted the area for places to eat. Either we could eat at the $30 buffet (no thank you) or at the sports bar. We opted for the Sports Bar. Our “meals” were more like “appetizers”. Kim and I both ordered the Sliders, a choice of three different kinds of small sliders: shredded pork, turkey, hamburger, chicken, and breaded clam. Those little sliders lived up to their name - they slid right down. They didn’t come with any fries or anything. Theresa had some flatbread with vegetables. We knew we were going to be hungry later.

I was anxious to go gamble so after eating, I wiped my face, hopped down off the bar stool, and said, “Okay ladies, I’m ready. Let’s get going here.”

Kim said, “Uh, I think the waitress would like you to pay first.”

Oh. That’s probably true.

Did I tell mention that I was excited to be there?

I told the waitress how I almost walked off without paying till my friends had to bring it to my attention.

The waitress said, “Oh you’re one of those ‘Dine and Dashers’ are you?”

I had to laugh. Dine and Dashers. Or D& D. Or Double D. Not just my bra size anymore….it’s my nickame!

Finally it was time to gamble.

All that anticipation for nothing.

It sucked.

Usually I win some before I lose it all. You know, to get my hopes up a little.

It just wasn’t happening.

I could have just handed my money to strangers and said, “Here, you have a go at it. My money’s no good here.”

Theresa doesn’t gamble. So she just watched.

Kim only lost $4.

And me?

Well, let’s just say that my friends are smarter than me and leave it at that.

We stopped in the bathroom before leaving the casino. It was gorgeous, by the way.

But I walked into the first stall and saw blue liquid dribbled across the toilet seat and into the bowl. Yuk.

I walked into the second stall and saw traces of blue liquid also on the toilet.

What the?

Either Smurfette had been in there to pee and missed,



Or the cleaning lady needed glasses 'cause she's missing the toilet, man, with the cleaning solution!

All of a sudden I heard someone make a loud, disgusting sound, like they were hacking up a loogie that started in their toes.

I thought to myself, "Please don't let that be either one of my friends."

I finished my business and scurried out of the stall.

I saw Kim waiting for me by the sink.

Theresa came right up behind me.

"Did  you hear that?" She asked me incredulously.

"What. That hacking sound?" I said.

"Yeah."

"Thank God it wasn't either of you!" I said, relieved.

"Are you kidding me? It was the lady right next to me! Didn't you hear me? After she was done I said, 'OH THAT'S NICE!'"

Gotta love that Theresa. She told me she's suffering from "CML". Crabby Menopausal Lady.

We walked across the street to an Italian restaurant for dessert. They are known for the cannoli and Tiramisu. We ordered the cannoli. Normally they look like this.



But this restaurant served the filling in a large martini glass


and gently dipped four empty shells into the creamy filling. It was to die for. We asked for more shells so we could use up all that delicious filling. It was good to the last drop.

The moral of the story? I may not have a lot in money, but I have good friends. And that makes me like George Bailey.


The richest man in town.

Only I'm a woman.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Thursday's Things in a Row

These cement blocks were placed in rows to prevent cars from parking on the sidewalk. I thought the pattern was hypnotizing. 



I liked the way these rocks were lined up in the sand.




These stepping stones made it easy to cross this creek.





Come and join the party!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Signs - The Lusty Lady


The Lusty Lady, a strip club and peep show, was established in the 1970's. It is located in downtown Seattle, across from the Seattle Art Museum (SAM). The club is well known in the area for it's ever changing, tongue-in-cheek marquees.

We toured the Seattle Art Museum a couple of years ago, and I snapped this photo of the marquee.

The Lusty Lady closed its doors in June 2010.

Apparently the economy was sagging more than the ladies' breasts.

For more signs visit Lesley here.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Updates from the Batcave




Why is this video not like me?

'Cause I used to snore LOUDER.

But I don't snore anymore.

I picked up my Cpap machine last week. I was a brave little soldier. Although the whole time I was in the doctor's office I felt like crying.

No, she wasn't mean to me.

In fact, she was extremely nice.

I was just being a baby. Up until that moment I had been acting like a trouper. Thinking, "Yep, I can DO THIS!" But when it came time to put my money where my mouth was? Uh, not so much.

I guess I started feeling sorry for myself when she began dragging out the long hose.

Then the mask.

This looks just like us, except that's not me AND Jim doesn't have to wear a cpap!
The Respiratory Therapist showed me how everything worked. Then she put the mask on me and I sat there for a little while trying to get used to it.

I asked her about getting up and peeing in the middle of the night.

"Why? Do you have issues with your bladder?" She asked.

"Uh, no."

"Well, then, you will NOT have to get up in the middle of the night and pee. I guarantee it. AND you will NOT wet the bed!" She exclaimed confidently.

"REALLY?" I was amazed.

She explained that the reason most people with sleep apnea get up and use the bathroom is because they were woken up from their sleep "issues" and then felt the pressures on their bladder and had to "go". If you sleep through the night? No problem.

That first night I put the mask on, and it took only a few minutes to get used to the forced air, and the feeling of the mask on my face. I woke up and it was morning.

By golly that woman was right!

No bathroom runs in the middle of the night!

No bed wetting!

It's a miracle!

Oh, and no snoring, either.

The first two nights I slept real well. The next couple of nights were a little more difficult, but I think I might have had the mask on wrong. (It's easy to wear it upside down!) I think I have it right, now. I definitely am not feeling as tired as I was before the cpap machine.

My air conditioning is working fine now. I'm not questioning why; I'm just enjoying it. It's a little cooler this week; high in the 80's. A cool front.

Answers to yesterday's puzzle:


And now, here's a little food for thought courtesy Bits and Pieces.



signing out. Ta-ta

Monday, July 25, 2011

Heat Wave

The United States has been suffering from a terrible heat wave the past week or so, particularly the Midwest. Last week, temperatures were in the high 90's, with a heat index of 110. You know that saying, "I died and went to heaven"?

Well, it seemed that I died and went the other way.

Yep. It was THAT HOT.

And our air conditioning couldn't keep up in the trailer.

It seems we weren't getting enough voltage to our site.

We called the campground.  They told us to call ComEd (the electric company), since we pay our own electricity here.

So we called them.

ComEd told us that the campground owns the wire from the meter to our site.

No duh.

So, in other words, it's the campground's problem.

This, my friend, is what you call a runaround.

Merriam-Webster describes "runaround" like this: "deceptive or delaying action especially in response to a request (tired of getting the runaround).

I'd say that described this situation to a big freakin' T!  The thermostat registered 97 fun-loving-degrees inside of our trailer with the air conditioning on, so Jim and I sat in the shade under a tree and tried not to snarl at each other. I made Jim bring me a bucket of cold water and I soaked my hot feet in it, and threw some cold water on my arms and legs and watched it sizzle. 
 
I get pretty cranky in the heat.

I sweat in places a lady shouldn't.

And I'm not talking about bars.

I'm talking about on my person.


I've already shared too much information with you. Sorry. So if you've had a hot week, weatherwise, *wink*, (otherwise I'd be jealous), here's a little something to cool you off. 

I made you a Word Find with Things to Keep You Cool. You can highlight the puzzle and clues, then print "selection".  So pour yourself a cool one, put your feet up, and park yourself in front of the a/c or a fan and go to it!

Courtesy of moi!





Heat Wave

M  T  U  C  E  W  H  O  D  Y  O  C  E  A  N  Z  R
P  O  O  L  P  E  D  A  N  O  M  E  L  M  Z  G  K
H  M  X  R  E  L  K  N  I  R  P  S  C  J  U  F  F
Z  R  O  P  A  A  U  M  B  R  E  L  L  A  C  M  Z
F  Q  L  F  L  I  P  F  L  O  P  S  W  F  V  P  P
T  Y  I  F  V  R  F  H  Z  S  H  O  R  T  S  M  T
A  I  R  C  O  N  D  I  T  I  O  N  E  R  K  F  B
U  U  I  M  S  J  P  B  A  Y  G  M  O  J  K  A  O
S  T  I  U  S  G  N  I  H  T  A  B  L  X  H  N  O
E  E  X  T  I  U  T  J  P  O  P  S  I  C  L  E  D
V  Z  B  E  C  O  M  N  U  F  A  L  J  F  X  W  J
F  Q  E  U  E  Z  Z  L  A  K  E  U  F  H  F  D  A
Y  B  P  E  C  H  S  U  N  G  L  A  S  S  E  S  O
H  U  K  N  R  E  C  Q  Z  H  U  L  J  D  V  S  T
C  D  F  M  E  B  C  A  V  S  P  N  M  M  K  I  Z
X  X  I  Q  A  G  A  I  E  W  I  L  G  A  Q  M  V
B  M  G  G  M  Y  P  W  M  B  S  H  A  D  E  Z  O



air conditioner lemonade
bathing suit ocean
beach pool
breeze popsicle
fan shade
flip flopsshorts
ice cream sprinkler
ice cubes sunglasses
lake umbrella

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Sunday Bridges - Aerial Lift Bridge

A few years ago when my husband suggested we make a stop in Duluth, Minnesota, I thought, "Seriously?" But it turns out that it is a beautiful city with lots of things to do right on the lake. The lake being one of the GREAT LAKES, as in Lake Superior. We took a ride on a tour boat and I snapped a picture of the Aerial Lift bridge (built in 1905) when it was down,


and when it was up to allow this big freighter to pass through.



Just to give you an idea exactly how large these ships are, here's a close up of one that we watched pass by in the canal.

Duluth is the world's largest inland port, shipping coal, iron ore and grain.

For more Sunday Bridges, visit Louis here.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Moral of the story.....read the small print

I dyed my hair last night. No biggie. I do this routine about every 6-8 weeks. I have gray hair mostly by my sideburns. (Do women have sideburns?) Anyway, I'm not real particular about the color I choose....usually it's in the blondish/light brown/auburn field.

I put the color all over my hair. It was black. But that's okay; it usually rinses out to be a different color.

It did.

My hair was gray.

What the?

Well, "frosted" was more like it.

A dull, UGLY frosted color. I looked like I aged 10 years.

Oh, yes, this was EXACTLY the look I was going for.

Preference my ass.

I looked at the name of the color. "Ultra light ash brown."

Scratch that.

Should be "Mouse brown with gray highlights."

Then I read further.

"FOR DARK HAIR ONLY"

and

"UL61 is a frosted brown shade with ash tones, which will minimize red/orange tones. For optimal color results, use on your natural medium brown to black hair."

and

"Not recommended for use on hair previously colored ..."

DAMN!

Lesson for today: When all else fails, read the freakin' directions!

I'm hiding in my trailer till Jim comes home with a new bottle of hair dye. I don't care what color he gets; anything is better than what I have now!

Friday, July 22, 2011

To Pee or not to pee....that is the question

Men have been programmed to pee in front of each other since they were little boys. I'm sure most boys played the game of  "Let's see who can pee the farthest" or what boy hasn't peed in the yard while playing outside with his friends?

It's a whole different story with women. We may all "go to the bathroom together", but we don't GO to the bathroom together. Capisce?

I'm not used to seeing pee coming out of a woman's who-ha.And I'm not about to start, either.

But apparently, that might change in the future. Hopefully, it will be in the distant future.

This company out of Denmark (Dezeen) has made some prototype female urinals.

You heard me.

It is called the Pollee, and there are three different prototypes: Pollee Shy, Pollee Topless and Pollee Naked. (Leave it up to a man to name urinals something sexist.)

The whole idea behind this (no pun intended), is to cut down the lines for women's bathrooms.

I'm guessing this one is the Pollee Naked.


Although it looks like she is carrying something, think again. She is SQUATTING, her drawers are around her ANKLES, and she's PEEING, folks. C'mon, seriously? Unless you're drunker than a skunk, who is going to do this? Okay, MAYBE if I had a skirt on, and no underwear, AND I had to pee like a race horse. AND there were NO OTHER BATHROOMS. Then maybe.

This must be the Pollee Topless.










Does this really look much better? Sure it shields you from the person NEXT to you, but HELLO, how about the people walking by?

This is the Pollee Shy.

And the way it looks, there's STILL a line!

Okay, so here we are having a peeing party. Our lovely buttocks are hidden from the prying public eyes. We are friends. We have peed together. We have bonded. We are one.




Uh. I don't think so.

Maybe by the time these urinals are popular, I won't have to worry.

I'll be wearing "Depends".



Ladies, what about you? Would you be able to use a female urinal?

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Thursday's Things in a Row - Birds of a Feather Flock Together

Four feathers here.....
Three feathers there.....
Somewhere there's a featherless goose walking around!


But it wasn't any of these as they all walked past in a row for inspection!

What do you have for show and tell this week?

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Signs - A Braggart

In keeping with the theme from yesterday's post, snort, I thought I'd share this funny sign with you:



Is Charlie a braggart or what?

For more signs, join Lesley here.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

A Quiz You Don't Have to Study For....



Post your three words in the comments. I will post mine later in the day so as not to influence your answers.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Sunday Bridges - Duluth, MN


This cute little draw bridge can be found in the town of Duluth, Minnesota, right on Lake Superior. Here it is opened up for this tour boat to pass through.


For more bridges, visit Louis here.


Saturday, July 16, 2011

I found out why I'm FAT!

I read the back of my shampoo bottle.......





How the heck do I keep it off of the rest of my body? Just wondering....

Friday, July 15, 2011

Things..

you can't live without.

Hands free backpack umbrella available here and through www.amazon.com



"Cool fingers" for when you have a small, hot, dish to remove from the oven and oven mitts are just too cumbersome! Find these cuties here.





If you're like me, you have several of those little keycards from grocery stores hanging on your key ring. This little device keeps them neatly together. Available at Amazon.



And things you can live without.


Anthony Weiner "action" figure available here.


Glow-in-the-dark toilet paper. Available (new) at Amazon.




This just seems wrong. What if you leave a scrap or two on your behind, like those Charmin bears?

Will your ass light up under the covers?


Don't give a "Flying F*ck"? Then you might like this. But seriously, how many times could you actually USE this? Available here.



THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.